prayers for the dead.

THAT'S a morose, ominous-sounding title for a flippant little blog, isn't it? 

I'm writing about prayers for the dead for a couple of reasons:

1) it was pointed out to me that there is a different common prayer that Jews and Christians share, and it's not really that valley of the shadow of death one.

and

2) I think this may be connected to the show DIG (on USA!), and even though Jason Isaacs expressly told me (and 36,000 others of his followers) NOT to get online and ruin it for themselves, I think Jason Isaacs ought to be aware that I am not like many of his 36,000 other Twitter devotees...for one, as long as no one gets hurt? I think rules are kinda sorta meant to be broken. And so if you're going to make demands like that, just know: you're sticking it into my head to quietly have  a look anyway--because why are you being so sneaky? And what are you trying to hide anyway? What are you so eager for us NOT to find out?

But also, research! And religion, while I pretty much shirk it, does fascinate me--I think it's the spirituality of it; its ritualistic nature (I am HUGE believer in the power of rituals) and ability to provide peace and comfort to those who really need it. (On the flip side: it also makes Protestants and Catholics blow each other up, it creates groups like Al Qaeda, and it makes people do things like blow up abortion clinics and tell AIDS-stricken Africans that God still abhors condom use. And it makes sweet grandmas who wouldn't hurt a fly sit in houses of God on Sunday mornings hating people who don't believe in or pray to Jesus Christ...it's for those reasons I've gotten to the point I just like to cherry pick and choose my own methods of how I devote myself to the Ohm, the All That Is and Ever Was.)

So anyway. Here's some background on prayers for the dead...because I bet (I BET) DIG (on USA.) has something to do with this. And the reason I think that is because, as I was researching prayers for the dead stuff, I kept coming upon a phrase about God protecting (whoever died) under His wings, shielding the dead, protecting them from harm, in the safety of His wings. And that was in the show--Psalm 17:8..."Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings..." which kind of (now that I've researched dead people stuff) sounds like a prayer for the dead. 

Okay. You ready? Here we go--prayers for the dead! (listen to happy music while you read):

In Judaism, there are two common prayers for the dead--the Mourner's Kaddish and the Yizkor. 

Let's talk about the Yikzkor first, because it's important but not in any way like the Kaddish. The Yizkor is a special memorial prayer, recited four times per year. In Hebrew, Yizkor means "remember." The word "remember" is both the first word of the Yizkor prayer but also its overriding theme. It's the prayer that is said to remember departed loved ones, but also to connect the living and the dead, to elevate the departed to Heaven, and to perform good deeds in their honor. The souls of living gain merit by performing private acts of good deeds (mitzvahs) on behalf of the dead, who can no longer do this (for obvious reasons). It's a blessing for both living and dead, as well as a way for the living to implore God not to forget about our dead loved ones, and the Yizkor can be recited for anyone, not just family members. 

You need to know this, because in Judaism, performing quiet mitzvahs, or good deeds or religious commandments, on behalf of those you've loved and lost gets you and your lost loved ones in good with God. It's connected to the Kaddish in that, the Kaddish is all about exalting the name of the Lord. Which is important to do, particularly for your dead ones.

The Mourner's Kaddish has been said on behalf of the dead for centuries and centuries and centuries and centuries; it is the only Aramaic prayer said within a Hebrew service, and one interesting thing about the Kaddish is that it isn't really a prayer TO God--it's a prayer FOR God. And also, it's a prayer for God and for God's people; it's about our human condition, really. It's probably the single most important, emotional, connecting prayer Jews can pray, and it goes like this (this is the English version):

Exalted and hallowed be God's great name

in the world which God created, according to plan.

May God's majesty be revealed in the days of our lifetime

and the life of all Israel -- speedily, imminently, to which we say Amen.

Blessed be God's great name to all eternity.

Blessed, praised, honored, exalted, extolled, glorified, adored, and lauded

be the name of the Holy Blessed One, beyond all earthly words and songs of blessing,

praise, and comfort. To which we say Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and all Israel,

to which we say Amen.

May the One who creates harmony on high, bring peace to us and to all Israel.

To which we say Amen.

(Source: reformjudaism.org)

The Mourner's Kaddish praises God, and expresses a desire to create God's Kingdom on Earth. There's really no mention of death in it, actually. It comes from Ezekial 38:23..."I will magnify Myself, sanctify Myself, and make Myself known in the sight of many nations; and they will know that I am the Lord."

The word "kaddish" means sanctification. Sons are required to say it for 11 months after a parent dies (the Yahrtzeit) and it's customary in Israel for all Jews to say it on the Tenth day of Tevet (Tevet is the 4th month of the year and the 10th month of the Hebrew calendar; it usually happens in December or January [the Gregorian calendar], and the 10th day of Tevet is a fasting observance in Judaism that commemorates the siege of Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar). 

The Kaddish is said in unison, and the thing about the Kaddish is that it doesn't mention death, specifically, but it's become customary to say it for mourners, because it's a way for children to show respect for parents long after they've died...and it's an expression of acceptance for God's judgments, righteousness, and decisions right at a time when (if you're going to get all bitter and angry at God for taking that which you loved most in the world from you) you may be tempted to reject God. It's also a way to sanctify the name of God, by saying it out loud in public, which (of course, like the Yizkor) increasing merit on behalf of dead loved ones. 

The beginning of the Kaddish is the single-most important part of it; it's the heart and soul of the prayer--God's name is being praised (sanctified). What's really fascinating about the Kaddish is its connection to the Holocaust--that's 6,000,000 lost souls we all need to pray for, forever and ever. There's a lot (I mean A LOT) on the internet that connects the Kaddish to the Holocaust, and I simply don't have time to wade through it all. But, in a really pathetic summary of something huge and horrible and important: during the Holocaust, victims KNEW what was coming--they understood their fate--and so they'd often say the Kaddish for themselves, so that instead of getting angry at God for the situation in which they found themselves, they'd say the Kaddish as a way to accept God's will and greatness; their souls were already with God. It's really too much to go into here beyond that (and also Elie Wiesel and Anne Frank are involved, so that would take us completely off track), but just know: this colored my prayer for the dead research into some very somber colors. (Please don't ever ever do something like this again, Humanity, please please do not.) (And also: I'd really really REALLY like to offer a politically-charged commentary here about the horrific inappropriateness of ANYONE today even attempting to use the Holocaust as a means in which to justify their current political views or disagreements with whichever state or government they are in opposition to--but it would get me totally off track and mess up what I'm trying to do here. Just know: if you do that? That's fucked up, and STOP IT.)

In addition, if you're very very interested to learn more about this, I got a lot of my information from various different Internet websites (including trusty old Wikipedia), but this published paper on the Mourner's Kaddish by some very scholarly smart person named Jennifer Schwartzberg:  GO HERE if you're interested in more.

One other prayer that is even more important than the Kaddish is the Schma, or Shema Yisrael. Shema means, literally "to hear, to listen" also "to do." Shema is also Aramaic for "the Divine Name," and is the Hebrew equivalent of "ha-Shem," which is sometimes used as a substitute for "Adonai," which is Hebrew for "God." 

The Shema isn't a prayer for the dead, but it is the single most important prayer (well, actually a confession, or a sort of declaration) in all of Judaism. It's said twice per day, as part of a mitzvah (good deed, or in this case a commandment). It goes: Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Ehad which means: "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is ONE." 

And there's a second line that goes: Baruch shem k'vodo l'olam which means: "Blessed be the name of the glory of His Kingdom forever and ever." It is said every single day, 7 days a week. The first line is the MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT JUDAISM. (In all of Christianity, the most important line is John 3:16--"For God so loved the world, He gave His only son..." But also in Christianity, we do say the Shema to a certain extent, mostly by reading it sometimes as Scripture from the Book of Deuteronomy, specifically Chapter 6, verse 4.) 

The second line is usually said quietly or silently inside your head. On Yom Kippur, however, it's said out loud, 3 times, because you want to exalt the name of God, and be as loud as all the angels. And then the Shofar is blown to announce: eatin' time! (it ends the fast.)

(By the way: Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement, is THE most important holiday in all of Judaism--even Jews who observe or practice no other Jewish customs will often take off a day of work, fast, and/or attend synagogue. It's the day Jews atone for all their sins and trespasses against others in the last year.)

(there's a reason I'm telling you about the Shema--I'll get to it in a second). 

So prayers for the dead figure big into Jewish services. In Christianity (and I'll just speak for the Presbyterians and Methodists, both Calvinistic branches that are closely related and I know a lot about because that's who I'm descended from--except, as Tom Skerrit's Presbyterian preacher dad pointed out in one of my favorite movies A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT: Methodists are Baptists who can read), we don't really say prayers for the dead. 

Actually, some Christian branches still do--it was a common practice in early Christianity, and I think the Catholics still practice it to some extent to get their lost loved ones out of purgatory. Eastern Orthodox Christians still pray on behalf of their dead, but not necessarily to sanctify God's name or elevate their lost loved ones to higher celestial, supernatural states of being--they do it because it's the right thing to do.

However! (I'm getting to my point) you know what prayer Christians all over pray, no matter their branch? The Lord's Prayer:

Our Father, which art in Heaven,

Hallowed be Thy name.

Thy will be done, 

On Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us  our trespasses,

As we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from Evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom,

The Power, and the Glory forever.

Amen.

Dear Mom, I recited that from memory--you'll be so proud. (And I also still remember, by heart, the Doxology: Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost...as it was in the Beginning, is now and ever shall be...praise He all men, Amen...Amen.) (AND I remember the tune.) (The things we drill into our kids' brains on behalf of the Spirit World.)

Go back and read the Mourner's Kaddish, then go back and read The Lord's Prayer. And pay attention to the last line of the Shema. Pretty close, I think. That Jesus of Nazareth! He certainly knew what he was doing, connecting two major world religions before one of them he wasn't even a member of hadn't even been created yet. Bet he did that on purpose--or SOMEBODY DID. (If only he or they had known what one of the religions was going to do to the other one thousands of years later.)

Seriously--there are scholars out there who believe Jesus was familiar with the Kaddish; he'd certainly have been familiar with the Shema...the Shema is an ancient, ancient thing to say--it was first said on Abraham's death bed, when his sons stood before him and promised him they'd only ever worship the one and only God. 

And if you translate the first half of Jesus' The Lord's Prayer (which was in Aramaic, since that's the language that Jesus spoke...and the Kaddish itself is in Aramaic, and the only non-Hebrew prayer chanted in Jewish services), it's nearly identical to the Kaddish. In addition to that, there's something called the Mishnah, which is basically the written down version of the oral Torah and the first major work of Rabbinical literature--it is older than old, in other words. In the Mishnah, God is sometimes referred to as "Our Father in Heaven," and this reference to God our Father...our Father who art in Heaven, etc, can also be found in some texts that pre-date the Mishnah (according to some scholars). In addition to that, you can find the essence of all Judaism in the Mishnah, and in 3 different areas of the Old Testament (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21, and Numbers 15:37-41). Basically, they say: you will accept the Kingdom of Heaven, God's rule, and You. Will. LIKE. It. In addition to all of THAT, there are subtle references to God's Ten Commandments in those sections of the Old Testament and the Mishnah, and so the Shema is also an opportunity to let God know: We're still obeying your rules, Lord.

It's really hard to prove all those connections, but I think they're there.

In Presbyterian services, we say The Lord's Prayer every time. It's also said during our funerals--I think they said it at my dad's (although I was in such grief and shock still, maybe we didn't...but I seem to remember saying it). There's also no real mention of death, but it exalts the name of God out loud, and it's all about how great and powerful and magnificent God is...a comfort to those who are mourning. It is said in unison, at ALL our services as well as special services (like funerals and Easter services and Christmas services etc and so forth), and it's really just a way for Christians to brag about how freaking awesome God truly is. Which I suspect is a huuuuge ego boost for the LORD.

The reason I think this is all connected to DIG (on USA) is because Peter is in mourning. I still can't connect ALL the pieces, and also I think there are several more that need to be connected to solve the mystery behind DIG. But I will tell you that the earliest version of the Kaddish dates back to the time of the Second Temple; there's a conspiracy between a Jewish faction and a Christian faction to bring about one ancient scary ass prophecy in the show DIG (and off of the show DIG, too), and also there's an FBI man in DIG'S Israel who's in mourning like nooobody's business running around trying to stop it all, trying to save us so he can save himself (maybe?). 

Essentially, this show is about crazies trying to eff the world up, but it's also about one human being who is struggling through the Darkness of the valley of the shadow of Death. It's about someone who's looking for respite; who needs some shelter under God's wings. And people in the show get killed off a lot. Let's all say The Mourner's Kaddish and The Lord's Prayer, together.

At least, that's what I think. But then, I'm a chick. We do like to read a lot into things. And we don't follow directions by famous actors who've got roles as wizards on their CVs. Ever.

family travel things.

So I've been researching the Illuminati (and also the Freemasons, in connection to the Illuminati, just because my grandfather and dad were Freemasons and have shrouded secrets around them, and I really love a good, shrouded secret). But then! Jason Isaacs got on Twitter and basically said: You guys! Dooooon't ruin episode #6 with your online research stuff! And so fine, dagnabit. FINE, JASON ISAACS. I will heed your advice and not ruin it and so I've stopped researching (but I MUST tell you, just in case: there are people out there who really believe members of the Illuminati are descended from humans mating with alien lizards...I suspect these people also subscribe to the Zombie Apocalypse Prophecy and write crazy, unfocused blog entries that never ever stay on topic) (that last descriptor was me--I'm sad I even have to point that out to you). 

At any rate, Jason isn't going to live tweet/walk us through this one. Again. (Because Jason is in Sri Lanka with his family, and I'm so so happy for him and for them that they are there--because it appears, to me, he's been nothing but a workaholic and away from precious pieces of his heart for the last several months. And I know all about long work hours and being away from family where you're needed most...I personally would have gone to Bali or Fiji with Miss M, but who cares what I think. Sri Lanka's cool, too.)

Anyway. You'll have to wait for your Illuminati/Freemasons educational blog entry to go along with DIG (on USA!) episode #6. Because it's Jason Isaacs' fault.

Instead, today, you'll be getting a blog entry on Family. And travel. And maybe also the TSA.

So I just got back from a trip to see my husband's sweet family in Indiana. We took M because her grandpa is getting up there in age, and well...you never know. Time is precious. Family is precious. If your family is very very dysfunctional, maybe they are not precious to you. So then maybe you have some really close friends who are...there you go: THERE'S your family. Biology does not alone make a family. (For example, I have adopted a Jewish "mom." She's very much like my Presbyterian real mom, because they both hate Obama and they both like to give me their opinions about him in a really loud way by sending me links to articles that I always have to fact check at snopes.com...and when I'm sick they have all kinds of remedies for me. Except my Presbyterian real mom wants me to buy Mucinex DM and suck on Cold-Eeze lozenges, and my Jewish "mom" wants me to stick my head over steaming water and eat chicken soup. Presbyterian and Jewish moms--both indispensable, just in different ways.) (Oh, and one of my moms doesn't pray to Jesus and the other mom is sad because I'm a lapsed Christian.) (But did you know that Christians and Jews BOTH share the prayer from Psalm 23:4, the "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." prayer? Connections!) 

What I most loved about hanging out with Grandpa R., was watching the interaction he, at 85 or so, has with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I cannot tell you how much my heart wanted to burst with sweet happiness at watching tiny little 2 year old great-granddaughter K put her little hat on Grandpa's head and say, "Dere YOUR hat." and then put Grandpa's hat on her head and say, "Dis MY hat." over and over again. O.M.G.! Internet! Heart. Melted.

Because clearly this is a regular game for them.

Miss M was in heaven, playing with her cousins--children she is not that familiar with, who she rarely sees, but by the end of our visit was in tears about leaving behind. Her Aunt S. loves her deeply, her cousin J teases her like a little sister, her Uncle W jokes with her gently. She played outside until her sandals-clad feet were absolutely filthy, and she ate way too much pie every night. THIS is family. 

...Oh, Internet! If you have aging parent(s) left in this world, please please PLEASE promise me you'll spend as much time as you possibly can with them. They need to feel surrounded by love; I could see this with my father-in-law, and I could see the effects the love had on him. 

Also: when your mom and dad are gone, they are gone. And it doesn't matter how old you are, how old they were, or the circumstances--they are your history and your memories and your foundations and--good or bad--you are YOU because they were they. In quiet moments when you can no longer just pick up the phone and call them, you will wonder: what if I had just...? or what if we had just...? I know this, because this is exactly what I do about my dad. THIS MATTERS.***(please see note at the end)*** There are no do-overs, and I will confess: I really wanted to go/do something else for Spring Break, but watching M and other grandchildren interact with their grandpa was so lovely, it made it all okay. 

And I wish I wasn't worried about privacy and safety so I could put some videos and pictures up of how happy and sweet it is to watch the very old and the very young interact. Simply, I think it's one of Life's bestest, nicest things, and I will treasure those moments in my heart forever and ever, no matter what else happens from here to the end.

(My other favorite memory: M observing that her grandpa doesn't move around as fast any more or get out as much; basically observing in her very 6 year old way that he's aged a lot. And that this is because he just likes to sit and watch TV all day and so he's just, I quote, "an Inside Man." I plan to be an "Outside Woman" as long as possible, but when I hit 90, I think I'll be okay being an "Inside Woman.")

If that wasn't enough, Midwesterners are just all around freaking NICE. Every time I go to the Midwest, I am struck by how friendly and open they are. You'd think, down here in the South, we are all about manners and gentility and politeness so we'd have the corner market on this. But Midwesterners are kind and thoughtful and just not afraid to make you their new best friend they are THAT open. Nice, nice people you have there, Midwestern America.

Here's an example:

So going TO Indiana, we went through security at Hartsfield-Jackson. It's been awhile since I've flown, so man. This was an experience. M and I qualified for pre-checkin, meaning: we did not have to take our shoes off or go through that x-ray thing that sees you naked. But they were aaaalll business, those ATL TSA guys. When we went through, the serious and very "don't give me no SHIT" lady asked M all kinds of questions: her name, how old, who her parents were, why she was flying...now, what if I'd been raising sort of a smart alecky kid? Huh, TSA? Bet we'd have been sniffed by the bomb dogs. (Which would have traumatized my child, who is terrified of all dogs, even tiny ones on leashes.)

Also, I set the alarms off and had to have my hands wiped with a mysterious wet napkin. Later, I found out they were looking for explosive powder residue. (Damn it, Maybelline!)

But coming home FROM Indiana, even though we did not go through pre-checkin and had to take our shoes off and take electronics out and etc and so forth, nobody asked any questions, and I went through the metal detector with NO problems. Even though I'd used the exact same Maybelline powder as on Saturday morning when we'd left for Hartsfield-Jackson. And everybody was business, BUT FRIENDLY BUSINESS. It was like eating at an Army prisoner-of-war mess hall one day and then eating at the finest Italian restaurant in town then next. 

My guess is that Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson just has a bunch of asswipe fliers that go through TSA all the time; Indiana has maybe 75% less than that. 

Anyway, note for you if/when traveling throught Atlanta, GA: Atlanta don't play. Leave your travel explosives at HOME.

Other things I'd like to note about the experience of air travel:

*Airport humans. Studies in character. Seriously, I mean it. They are RIVETING to me. I wonder: why are you so mad-looking? or: are you a celebrity?! you look like a celebrity!! or: when was the last time you had a bath?! or: seriously?! Scotch on the rocks?? AT 9 AM?!

*I'm not judging the Scotch on the rocks at 9 AM person...I'm a nervous flier, and so it did cross my mind to have a few beers before boarding. Then, during the sort of turbulent flight home, I really regretted not ponying up to the bar and having a rum+coke with the Scotch on the rocks guy. Or at least several beers with the morosely quiet Mafia-looking couple.

*Two men in front of me drank Sky Vodka for the entire 1.5 hour flight back to Atlanta. The flight attendants had to stop serving snacks right after they waited on those guys because of air turbulence; didn't matter--those guys had already bought plenty of little vodka bottles to keep them stocked up the whole flight. I, however, had to wait 30 minutes to get a Diet Coke because those two insisted on being airplane barflies.

Yet nobody drank going to the Midwest from Atlanta. My suspicion: Atlanta's CIA/TSA has something to do with it. I'm sure the vodka guys were TSA plants.

*Don't eff with a flight attendant. I'm not kidding. Don't. Do. It. If a flight attendant says: "We need you to change seats, sir," then you get your pretentious butt up out of that seat and MOVE IT. (Although the girl in row 18 will be sitting in delight, jotting down character notes about you for a future story or three.)

*MARTA. It's really the best part of traveling through Atlanta. Another great source for studies in character. I wondered: when did your boobs GET like that?! does it bother you?? and: do you keep bothering those people across from you with corny jokes because you're just trying to make new friends...or you're hoping they'll give you some money so you'll shut up and go away? and: when was the last time you had a bath?! and: Seriously?! A tomato JUST dropped out of your Burger King sandwich...and YOU'RE NOT PICKING IT UP. Where you raised by wolves?? and: you are really getting into that music in your ears--you are practically dancing to it, like no one is watching. How'd you get so carefree and wise??

In Indiana, I worked out, religiously, at the hotel's fitness center every morning. Then, I'd sit in the lobby with a hard-boiled egg and coffee, in silence--peaceful, blessed silence--and read the Internet or a newspaper or a book. It was Heaven. HEAVEN. 

But mostly, I loved watching my father-in-law's face shine with joy when he was surrounded by his little ones. And TSA ain't got nothing on THAT.

***If your  mom or dad is abusive, then obviously this is null and void. Please stay away from very abusive people who hurt you in childhood and you struggle with it to this day. I am writing to people whose moms/dads aren't perfect and maybe drive them nuts every time they're in their presence, but they've done their best and there is genuine love there. 

It is true, there are some humans who should not be allowed within 3 feet of a child, yet these humans bear children anyway and haphazardly and horrendously raise them to adulthood, creating people who either spend their whole lives repairing the damage or end up in gangs and/or ISIS. I am not talking to you if you got one of those moms or dads, and I hope (a) you're in intensive therapy for it and (b) you have a surrogate Jewish mom or dad who's making you matzo ball soup as you read this. Or it doesn't have to be a Jewish surrogate--I hear the B'hai Faith has some awesome moms/dads you can adopt too. And an atheist surrogate parent will be hedonist with you and there will be NO consequences or guilt trips about when was the last time you were in a house of God, etc. 

holy cow in a mikveh

I did some more geeky research on the stuff behind DIG (on USA)! Are you interested? If so, here's some background on the cow and mikveh (though I wish there were such a thing as showering mikveh--I'm more of a shower purification gal myself):

THE MIKVEH 101:

Essentially, holy water bath.  To enter the Temple, you have to be ritually purified/cleansed. A mikveh's a good place to do that. If you're converting to Judaism, you take a mikveh (Christianity does a similar thing with its baptismal rites). Very traditional Jewish ladies take a mikveh after menstruating and childbirth so they can get down and dirty with their men again.

Your Daily Hebrew...two new vocabulary words: tahara (purity) and tumah (impurity)--so, essentially, every time you're in a mikveh, you're performing a tahara. To cleanse off all the tumah. (Some Fridays, after a really long and frustrating week, I do this. Except my taharas also involve lavender-scented bubbles and lots and lots of wine.)

Mikveh water needs to come from natural sources. The mikveh itself can be man-made, but must use water from a natural source. Most Orthodox Jews still use mikvehs, but Reform and Reconstructionist Jews not really. In Orthodox communities, construction of the mikveh is typically done before building a new synagogue, and sometimes the old synagogue is sold just to pay for the building of the mikveh, it is THAT important. Because everything must be purified. In addition, Orthodox Jewish funeral homes also have mikvehs, so taharas (which also mean dead body purification rituals) can be performed.

To create a mikveh, rabbinical rules must be adhered to: the water has to come from a natural source--wells with natural water or lakes with naturally occurring springs as their sources, or even snow, ice, or hail as long as it melts in a certain manner. Rainwater can also be used, as long as it's not from riverbeds that constantly dry up since flowing rainwater doesn't count. Oh, and--oceans of the world? All natural sources of water, and so the next time you're paddling around the Gulf of Mexico or wherever? You're in one heck of a God-made mikveh.

A good mikveh must be deep enough to cover the entire body of an average-sized person, and there are all kinds of rules on how the water makes its way into the mikveh. It can't be pumped in by hand or carried there; it has to flow in from the source by gravity or natural pressure. Thus, most modern day, man-made mikvehs are filled with rainwater that's collected in cisterns, and the water is passed via a duct via gravity into the pool. After that, it can be topped with tap water, to get it up to suitable levels. And the water can also be heated, as long as certain rules are followed.

In other words, a mikveh is sorta kinda like a holy water spa.

Some other background on them:

You're required to take a mikvah after menstruation, nocturnal emissions (YOU know what I'm talking about guys), any weird bodily fluid discharges, weird skin conditions that pop up (i.e., leprosy, aka really bad psoriasis...dandruff? Don't know--probably), anyone coming into contact with a girl who's menstruating (but what about coming into contact with someone who's just had a nocturnal emission?!) (probably).

In addition, if you want to be a high priest? Must have a mikveh. If you're a high priest on Yom Kippur? You take a mikveh. If you eat meat from an animal that died naturally? Get thyself into a mikveh. If you touch a corpse or hang out in a grave? Mikveh for you, my friend.

Hey, guess who else needs to immerse themselves in a mikveh? Anybody who sacrifices, say, a red heifer.

Which segues me into the Red Heifer.

The Red Heifer 101:

Here's why DIG (on USA!) is all about the cow.

Basically, there have been 2 Temples in Jerusalem. When I write about what I've learned about the Temple on the Mount, you'll understand better why the area the Dome of the Rock (site of Temple 2) currently occupies is very much like an atomic bomb.

In Hebrew, the red heifer is called the purah adumah. The thing about the Red Heifer is, it's not necessarily a prophecy (from what I've researched), though most people think of it as part of the End Times prophecy, because it so predominantly figures into it. It's more of something that someone said to do in the Old Testament, in Numbers, Chapter 19, 1-22:

“Now the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, ‘This is the ordinance of the law which the LORD has commanded, saying: ‘Speak to the children of Israel, that they bring you a red heifer without blemish, in which there is no defect and on which a yoke has never come. You shall give it to Eleazar the priest, that he may take it outside the camp, and it shall be slaughtered before him; and Eleazar the priest shall take some of its blood with his finger, and sprinkle some of its blood seven times directly in front of the tabernacle of meeting. And the priest shall take cedar wood and hyssop and scarlet, and cast them into the midst of the fire burning the heifer.

And then, after the sacrifice:

Then the priest shall wash his clothes, he shall bathe in water, and afterward he shall come into the camp; the priest shall be unclean until evening. 

And the one who burns it shall wash his clothes in water, bathe in water, and shall be unclean until evening. 

Then a man [who is] clean shall gather up the ashes of the heifer, and store [them] outside the camp in a clean place; and they shall be kept for the congregation of the children of Israel for the water of purification; it is for purifying from sin. And the one who gathers the ashes of the heifer shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until evening’” (vs. 1-9)

(source: Beyond Love)

Also I figured out why the color red is so predominantly featured in the show DIG: it was a special color, particularly for the priest's garments. Also featured on the breastplate of judgment (the Hashen).

More than all THAT, the red heifer may be connected to the gold calf--you remember, the one that got the Israelites in deep doo doo with Moses. And so then he had to go back up to Mt. Sinai and start the whole Commandment process all over again. (Awkward!) At any rate, the whole reason behind the the creation/invention of the mikveh/purification thing was that golden calf.

So when Solomon built the first Temple, there were very strict purification rituals that were observed while building, because essentially, this is where God would live. God's swank pad, if you will.

When Temple #1 was built, fragrant incense was burned, continuous sacrifices made (morning/evening every Sabbath, on New Moons (remember the Shofar?), on all important festivals as well). King Hezekiah also purified the temple by having consecrated food (to be laid on the table before the Lord every day, eaten ONLY by High Priests) and new utensils consecrated/purified (that would be where mikvehs play in--mikvehs are also used to purify new utensils), etc and so forth. According to the Bible, the consecration of the Temple site began on the 1st day of the month and finished by the 16th day.

Here is where the Red Heifer plays into all of that:

Nebuchadnezzar destroyed Temple 1. It was rebuilt, and then the Romans came along and destroyed Temple 2. Years after that, Muslims constructed both the Dome of the Rock (directly situated on The Temple's site, aka God's House), along with Al-Aqsa Mosque right near by. The Temple Mount is THE holiest site in all of Judaism; it is the third holiest site in Islam. Therein lies the dispute. (But more on that later).

There no specific instructions/descriptions for how Temple 2 was purified and consecrated, but to purify the site, you have to have water purification (aka, a mikveh). Don't have time to build a mikveh? One other way to purify the Lord's House is to sacrifice a perfect, unblemished red cow--you slaughter it, then you burn it, then you turn its ashes to a paste, and then you rub yourself all over with dead cow ashy paste. Ta da! You're all clean and ready to stand before the LORD, and the LORD shall be pleased.

There is a talk that some red cow ashy paste used while building Temple #2 was hidden during the Romans' destruction of Temple #2 (~70 AD). But when the Romans destroyed the 2nd Temple, they also pretty much leveled the entire town of Jerusalem, so the hope of finding that old time-y red cow purification paste is akin to finding the Holy Grail; it is the stuff of legend now.

This is why a new red cow matters, and the show DIG is all about the cow.

Listen to me, Internet: no shit. There are groups out there attempting to breed the perfect red cow. Right now! Jason Isaacs tweeted a link to a video of a really sweet Jewish farmer who's got a perfect red cow, and he'd like to send it to Jerusalem to help some Armageddonists out. If you haven't seen it, you can click-> HERE. (He reminds me of my great Uncle Calvin, who was also a farmer, but Presbyterian.)

If Avram and the red cow make it to Jerusalem, the nefarious group of Jewish/Christian/Government ne'er-do-wells will most likely:
A) slaughter it
B) burn it up
C) turn it into a purification paste
D) rub that all over that Joshua kid, who will most likely be wearing the breastplate with the stones in it because
E) Joshua is being raised/groomed to be the High Priest/Messiah who will build Temple 3. (More on that, too, when I share more stuff on Temple on the Mount.)

BAM!!! DIG (on USA!) mystery solved! (Sorry if I just spoiled it.)

Ha, no. Just messing with you. You still have a mystery to figure out with Peter--what are all the connections? what the heck HAPPENED to Peter's daughter? will Lynne and Peter ever get it together? SHOULD they? Who. Killed. Emma?!

All that stuff I just wrote is just the background behind it all, the story's backdrop.

But seriously, this should scare the holy bejeezus out of you: there are, as you read this, real groups of people working feverishly to breed a pure red cow as sort of a nudge to God to get a move on it. (I think God's actually supposed to provide the red heifer. But you know us humans--we want what we want when we want it and when do we want it? NOW.) (This is why God's no longer on speaking terms with us, I just know it.)

One group (that I think the nefarious Jewish group in the show is based on) is called The Temple Mount Faithful. It's founded/run by Samuel Gershon, a researcher and lecturer on Middle Eastern studies, and an expert on the movement of the Kurdish people. He's an officer in the Israeli Defense Army, and is descended from Rabbi Avraham Solomon Zalman Zoref, circa 1811, who once tried to locate the 10 lost tribes of Israel and bring them back to the Promised Land. Samuel Gershon has dedicated his life to trying to have all the Muslim shrines set up on the Temple Mount removed so it can be re-consecrated to God in the name of His Chosen People.

In addition to him, there are several Christian groups also trying to use scientific, genetic engineering to breed a perfect, unblemished red cow that can be shipped to Israel to rebuild the Temple. One of them is Clyde Lott, an evangelical preacher from Mississippi. Lott has been working with Jewish rabbis on some genetic tinkering needed to produce a perfect red heifer. There are two other American Christians also trying to breed perfect red cows.

If they're successful, this would be the light for the fuse to light the atomic bomb. A red cow's appearance would reeeeally upset the Islamic world, way worse than anything George W. Bush could have ever said or done. All of the Jewish temples on the Mount are currently occupied by the Dome of the Rock, as well as Al-Aqsa Mosque nearby the Dome. Extremists have tried to destroy both the Dome and the Al-Aqsa mosque to make room for Temple 3. A red cow being brought into Israel, slaughtered, burned, and turned into ash would be the signal it's time to rebuild the Temple. To rebuild the Temple, you have to purify the site. To purify the site, you have to remove what's currently there.

And them's fightin' words.

Basically--everybody become vegan so we can reduce our dependence on cows, thus eliminating the ability to purify the Temple area, thus eliminating the ability to light the atomic religious bomb. (Or, better yet, let's do this: everybody join hands and start singing John Lennon's IMAGINE.)

Y'all! Holy crazy cow patties! 

Up next, before Thursday's Episode #6 premiere: someone clued me in to research The Illuminati. Jason Isaacs just announced Episode #6 has yet another HOLY &#$^%#@!!!!!! moment at the end. So I'm on Spring Break, I got some time. Guess I'll be back with some more Blog of DIG Geek for y'all in a day or so.

In the meantime, here. Jump in a hot mikveh and watch this:

dig on usa, episode 5: thoughts.

So, like, if we met up for coffee (in the morning) or a beer (in the evening), and we wanted to talk? And you haven't been watching DIG (on USA!)? I'd have to get up and leave. Not just because you wouldn't be able to understand any of what I was even talking about, but just because: helloooo! You are clearly not even remotely interested in watching good television. And I can't hang out with people who aren't into good TV. I mean, why don't you just say it out loud: you still watch American Idol and you find The Kardashians compelling. Break my heart. Go ahead. But do it quickly, and don't look back. 

I wasn't sure I'd be able to get to write this, because I'm currently in the midst of some family obligations. Fortunately, there is free wifi where I am, my child is addicted to HORRID HENRY (a really ridiculous British cartoon on Netflix that's teaching my child Brit-speak...she's calling grocery store carts "buggies," calling me "mummy," and asking where we'll go on holiday this summer ["We don't go on holiday, M, we're American; we take vacations."] [It's cool! It's fine--anglophilia runs deep in our genetics; I can tell it.], and I was able to find a couple of hours to write in peace.

Where was I? YES! DIG! (on USA.) You guys! This. Show. Is. AMAZING. Every episode gets better and more HOLY SHIT!!!! (sorry for the swear, but seriously. During every show, at some point, I say that out loud). THIS is why, from the get-go, I've said: (a) PAY ATTENTION and (b) watch the WHOLE thing. 

So here are my DIG #5 thoughts (from my notes!):

*The Essene: oh, Mr. Essene, PLEASE be a good guy. You have Avram and the baby cow now, and I will be so so so so so DISGRUNTLED with you if you hurt either of them. 

My favorite scene from this WHOLE show so far: the sweet interaction between Avram and the Croatian girl. I am in deep, deep heart with Avram. What a sweetheart. (If somebody kills Avram, I am going to weep uncontrollably.)

*Peter's chest scar. That should have been the title of this post: PETER'S CHEST SCAR. Do we ever get to find out what it's from, where he got it, why it's there? Was it an old Army wound? Or...(OR!!!!)...FROM A RITUAL?! (That's actually a very serious question: When your brain is on DIG, you consider ALL the options.)

At any rate, dearest Peter: you're cute for an emotionally tortured mess of a human, but your chest scar is gross and ropy, all stringy and fibrous-like. How'd you get that? (I'd tweet Jason Isaacs and ask him directly, because I KNOW he knows. But I also know I'd get silence or a coy response and so, nope.)(But I KNOW it's going to be part of the story. I can feel it in my bones.)

*The beginning's crazy protest scene: exciting but scary traffic jam protest. Honest to God, I JUST sat in one of these last week in Atlanta, but there were no molotov cocktails...so far--it's just a matter of time. 

I loved this scene because we got to see more of who Lynne is--she's a tough cookie, and she will haul off and crack your jaw open if you try to hurt her or her driver. Guess who I want sitting shotgun with me in my next traffic jam? 

(What were they protesting? I don't know if it even matters--the point is: don't be an American diplomat in the middle of a Middle Eastern protest that has molotov cocktails.)

*Emma's hippy friends: OMG, IT'S MY TRIBE!!! (Except...can I share with you how very vanilla I actually am? Once, I smoked pot--key word: ONCE. It was in college, I was backstage with Pantera. Lead singer Phil Anselmo and I shared a joint and had a nice chat--what a sweet guy he was, back in 1990. But I was so scared of drugs--thanks, mom and dad!--that I only took two puffs and didn't inhale, just like Bill Clinton.) (Today, I would inhale...but also, today? I would not hang out with Pantera or Phil Anselmo. Isn't THAT an interesting flip flop?) (I have more! But also part 2: I'm sorry for getting us off task and making this about me--where were we?)

*The Shofar. The peace-love-hippies had a ram's horn bong they shared with Peter, who's clearly done this before. I don't know that that'll be significant in any of the other parts of the story, but I do know that it's called a shofar, and it's blown on both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. I think it comes from Abraham--he sacrificed a ram instead of Isaac, and so...now there's a ram's horn in special ceremonies. Here, in this scene, it was used for peace love and tune in/drop out. But traditionally, it's an instrument to mark important events. Or to start spiritual warfare--in the Old Testament, God tells the Israelites to blow it before fighting enemies so He'll know to come to their rescue. (I'm paraphrasing what God actually told the Israelites, of course.)

It's like a bugle, but no pitch ability, except what the blower can do with his/her breath. Jews used it to determine when a new month began--the Sanhedrin (a judicial board of rabbis) would get together in Jerusalem to decide when the new moon would begin, and the horn would be blown. The new moon signified the beginning of a new month (Rosh Chodesh), and it was a really big deal. Special prayers would be said, with a special dance at night by people praying for the new moon. For DIG, this may matter because the Essene told the cow the thing about the moon determining when her destination would be complete. So thus, the introduction of the Shofar/ram's horn in that scene. 

(and thank you, friend E! For all my Jewish tradition research background information! I'm going to convert when this is over...I'll know all the traditions, backgrounds, why's and what for's. And also I'll speak fluent Hebrew and it'll just make sense.)

*The underlying themes--there are many different subplots going on, under the overlying top story arc. YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION. As a short story writer, I'm always on the look out for these; for me, in novels/short stories, I find them usually in the form of themes. And one theme here appears now to be drugs, addictions: Debbie is a former addict, Emma gets high (via video) in this episode, and...was Peter's daughter a drug addict and that's why she was so troubled? Just wondering (out loud). 

*Debbie's escape: Run, Debbie, RUN! She got away! She got AWAY! (This was almost as exciting as Toto's escape from the Wicked Witch!). I also think what Debbie said to the other cult member lady was significant: that Debbie has done things to her body and soul in the past to survive, things she thought she'd been through so God could bring her to Him. 

(Oh, Debs...I SO get you on this. It is true: Sometimes the Universe sends us through the Dark Nights of the Soul so we can better appreciate the brilliance of the daylight when we wake up.) (I'm referencing "Dark Night of the Soul" because it comes from mythologist Joseph Campbell. And Campbell's "The Hero's Journey" is sort of a theme I see running through this show, so I'd like to write about it in connection to this story, but it's too soon to do it right now.)

Nothing more to say about that, really, except that I'm waiting to find out how big a drug-addicted prostitute Debbie was. And why they'd put someone like that in charge of a future High Priest.

*The Emma-Vickie (Peter's daughter) connection. I really loved that they used Kermit the Frog's "Rainbow Connection" to bring those two characters together--so perfect. And given the druggie/hippie thing going on? Super duper perfect. (These are really good writers.)

I think the obvious thing to think is that Emma is Vickie is Emma. But that would be too easy (and maybe it is just that--super easy, they are one and the same. Sometimes the easiest way to hide something is right out in the open). But to be quite frank? I can't figure it out. I've taken notes, I've watched THREE times, and I can't figure out the connection there--Peter is Emma's father? But not. Or maybe! 

I'm going to watch some more--my suspicion is that it has something to do with what's going on with the Joshuas at the compound. That there's a connection THERE. (That compound looks cold and sterile and really science-y. Kinda clone-y. Is what I'm saying.) (It's totally cool if you disagree with me--that's what makes storytelling arguments FUN!)

*Khalid. Who got--and delivered, to his detriment and in spite of a really horrendous gun shot to the knee from that magnificent car chase--the red, final stone. (Everybody sing with Rabbi Lev: "There's no stoppin' us now! Now that we found our way!" by The Supremes.) And then? Khalid was asked to be a human sacrifice. A suicide, human sacrifice. The ultimate in "take one for the team." I am sad about Yusef. He was a cold-blooded killer for God, but he makes me think of those suicide bombers who get brainwashed into thinking they're doing work for God, but in reality they're just furthering some psycho's political, world domination agenda. Alas, poor Yusef! We knew him. He hath borne us on his back a thousand times. (that's all the Shakespeare I'll subject you to in this blog entry. I am done.)

*"He's coming." -Yusef Khalid's last words on Earth, April 2, 2015. 

I think Khalid was referring to the Messiah, because I think that's what the crazy radical group's trying to do--rebuild the Temple, bring forth the Messiah, and incite Armageddon. Not necessarily in that order.

*Lynne-Peter: at first, I was all: no Lynne! don't develop feelings for him, he's a MESS! But after re-watching, I can see: Lynne is one tough cookie. She just shut Peter DOWN. Sharp left hook to a man at the protest in the morning; sharp right hook to man in her condo in the evening. It was busy day for Lynne. (And a sad one.) (I really, really, really LIKE Lynne. I hope she's not in cahoots with anyone and makes it to the end alive.)

Anyway, Peter tried to see Lynne in the hospital, but he had a bad flashback to his daughter's morgue visit and couldn't do it. PTSD. Dammit, Peter. Get help.

What I like most is how dark the scenes can become--Peter is struggling with a lot of traumatic darkness, and it's often reflected in the cinematography. There are themes of death all over this story. This is just a really well-done show, meticulously thought out, in all areas, exquisitely produced.

*The drag queen bar--Brad's Pitt. Julie (drag queen) was Emma's friend. Do you get a sense that Peter's uncomfortable with gay people? I don't know why I keep sensing that. At any rate, if it's true, stop it, Peter! Drag queens rock (I hung out with some in college--they are hysterical and fun and awesome and really really wonderful. And they'll fix your hair and make up for you, and you will LIKE it). I'm just writing about it right now because I loved the clever name of the gay club. Oh, you writers! Go on with your clever selves.

*Professor Margrove! What a frickin' twerp. He was bedding sweet, naive Emma, totally taking advantage of his position of power over her and her naivete and youth. AND he's associated with a nefarious group of ne'er-do-wells, helping them plot the world's destruction. However. I don't think he killed Emma. But I DO think Emma was too good for him. 

*And last (but not least) Peter goes back to the dig site for a head clear in a mikvah. He notices the key symbol on the roof of the cave. He puts the puzzle piece together and then we, the audience, get to see it: The New Mexico Compound--IT'S THE KEY!!!!!! (this was my Holy Shit!!! moment for this show.) 

What a crazy (in a GOOD way) show. Written by big brains, with lots of cautionary tales for the ages, like this: 

Go west, young man (or woman). 

And doooon't take refuge with any cultists in the desert.

Here. Now that you're done reading this, go make your day happy and watch this:

stone cold research-y stuff.

DIG (on USA!) episode 5 starts in 30 minutes. (!!!) I don't know when I'll be able to provide my completely inane thoughts, perceptions, and reactions to Episode 5 because I have some intense family obligations to attend to over the next several days. But I will try! I will try. 

In the meantime, here's some geeky research I've done about the breastplate, the 12 stones, and the Urim and Thummim. I started out thinking the plate and the 12 stones were the most important focus, but then, as I started to research I hit total frickin' pay dirt regarding the Urim and Thummim, Internet. Do you know about them? I'll tell you about them...in a minute. I think they're going to become fairly important to the story that DIG is telling. Of course, I could always be wrong, and frequently am, but I just became incredibly intrigued by them after I stumbled on several things. Online. (Because if it's ONLINE, it must be true.) (Abraham Lincoln said that.)

First, let's talk about the breastplate and the stones.

So basically, it's something the High Priest would wear to beg God to forgive the children of Israel all their transgressions. Essentially, it was a big ol' iPad to the Lord. It even lit up, in just the right lighting. Super rad, considering it was before microwave ovens and Star Trek had even been thought up.

In Rabbinical literature, the breastplate is called "hoshen ha-mishpat." After the reign of David, the breastplate was lost to antiquity (supposedly; at any rate, it was never mentioned again by any scribes in any religious text). It was created by Moses when he consecrated Aaron and his sons as the first High Priests. Aaron wore it directly over his heart, because his heart was happy and not even a tiny bit jealous God picked his brother Moses to be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt (good for YOU, Aaron!). It was made from different colored threads, covered in gold leaf, and inside of it were 12 precious stones and each one had the name of a tribe of Israel engraved on it. 

The reason the names were engraved on the stones was to keep God mindful, whenever the High Priest stood before Him, how pious each tribe was. The stones were never to be chiseled, painted, marked on in any way. In fact, the legend goes that the names of the tribes were engraved on the stones via the use of the Shamir. It was the 7th miraculous creation by God. It was created during the evening twilight on the first Friday after the first 6 days of creation. The Shamir was a hard stone, the size of a grain of barley, yet nothing could withstand its hardness. Whenever it was placed on stones, the stones were split apart as easily as the pages of a book. Moses supposedly used it when God created the Ten Commandments, and he kept it in spongy balls of wool, in a lead box filled with bran to keep it safe.

In my research about the breastplate, I kept coming up on stuff about an ephod. There's some argument about what an ephod actually is--some say it's an image that would be brought out and worshiped, others think it's just a covering worn in conjunction with the breastplate, as part of the High Priest's adornments and clothing. If one is of the ephod-image camp, it's the thing that's used as an oracle. 

So the breastplate goes on, the ephod comes out (or on, whichever your scholarly self wants to think), and let the holy oracles begin! When King David, for instance, wanted to ask God a question, he'd go to the priest and say: "Bring us the ephod." In King David's time, and probably also previously, this was also called "the ark of God." 

There were 3 methods of divine communication for whoever wore the breastplate: 
1-a dream oracle
2-oracle by word of the Prophets
3-oracle via the Urim and the Thummim

So. Let's talk about the Urim and the Thummim. Because this is the part I went: "Holy shit!" (and also: "How the hell did these writers keep all this straight in their brains?!")

In English, the words translate, roughly, to "revelation and truth" or "light and perfection," and the Urim and the Thummim (in Judaism) are the two cherubs adorning either end of the top of the Ark of the Covenant. (More on the ark next time.) But they may have also been stones that were part of the breastplate, in addition to the 12 stones, because Aaron was commanded to add these to his breastplate, which he was to wear as a way to continuously carry the judgment of God for the 12 tribes of Israel over his heart.

Definitely in Christianity they became something else. The Urim and Thummim are two stones--a white and a black stone used as part of divination rituals. And you know who REALLY loved to use the Urim and the Thummim to divine God's will? 

Joseph "magic underpants" Smith. (You know who he is, right? Mormon guy. Utah desert. Sister-wives. A really kick ass Tabernacle Choir my mom used to play on the record player every Christmas season. Hordes genealogy info on everybody, God only knows why except it does kind of make me nervous--does it you? I wonder why they want to have all that information on every human in America, possibly the planet...) 

Basically, Joseph and polygamy pals liked to use the stones to play 20 Questions with God: "Will there be a storm a'comin', O Lord?" (YES) "Will we be driven to the depths of the Utah desert to escape the US government's reach and laws?" (YES) "Will we ever have our day of glory and be Kings of the ENTIRE Planet?" (NO) 

(thank you, Jesus).

Joseph Smith said the Urim and the Thummim were the divine dwelling place of God. He claimed they were the earth in a future state, and that the white stone was from the Book of Revelation. He also said before God led him to the Urim and the Thummim, he'd been using a holy seer stone to divine the will of God, to receive divine knowledge and revelations. The seer stone helped him find lost objects and interpret ancient or mystical languages he didn't know (like ancient Egyptian). The combination of the seer stone + the urim + the thummim gave him the "all-seeing eye."

You know where else you'll see the "all-seeing eye?" On Egyptian stuff. Buddhist things. Freemason artifacts. THE FREAKING U.S. CURRENCY IN YOUR WALLET. (that's why it's the "all-seeing eye"--it's everywhere. WATCHING YOU.) 

(I mean, don't get paranoid or anything. I just thought you ought to know what you're carrying around in your purse or your pocket. Just think of it as sort of like a holy TSA or something. We're all just travelers through time, man.)

Most scholars say the original Urim/Thummim, like the Ark of the Covenant, are lost to antiquity. But other people--non-scholarly people, typically--who really, really, really, I mean desperately, want to be Masters of the Universe say that Jesus personified the Urim and the Thummim, and that when Jesus comes back to Earth, there will be no need for a physical earth to live on anymore. Because Jesus would be the real indicator of the will of God. 

This feels ominous, doesn't it? At least if you're watching DIG. I read all that and went: Crap. Those crazy guys want to bring Jesus down to Earth, don't they? THAT'S what they're doing with the black and white stones. Playing 20 Questions with God, and trying to figure out how to bring Jesus to Earth. (But does Jesus even WANT to come here? I mean, I'm certain some of you believe he's already been...and if this is true, wouldn't that be like going back to a hotel that gave you REALLY bad service--mold on the bed sheets, hair clogged in the sink? Seriously--he was ASSASSINATED. But if you don't believe that was the real Messiah, maybe Jesus is perfectly fine and dandy wherever he is currently...I mean, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but this planet isn't exactly a 5 star resort to live on. Some places on it, maybe, but the vast majority of it...Seriously. I just sat in 1 mile of traffic for over 40 minutes tonight. Seer-see THAT crap away, and then I'll consider what you have to say.)

Where was I? Right--research. 

Some things I found particularly interesting that may (or may not) be brought up in the show (or already have been and I've missed them because I've been too busy reading tweets):

Exodus 28:30 - this is the passage in the Bible that details Moses consecrating the breastplate to Aaron. It details how the plate was used to reveal God's judgment. In Numbers 27:21, God reveals to Moses what he wants Israel to do. And that instance (in Numbers 27:21), what God really wanted Moses to do was put Joshua in charge. Now THAT'S interesting. (Isn't it?)

What else was very interesting to me was that I found some information about Tetzaveh, which is Hebrew for "you command." It's the second word in the parashah, which are (in my goyim rough translation) sections of passages in the scrolls of the Torah, and it's really important where you section them or you mess everything up. And then you and God aren't copacetic. The parashah is made up of 5, 430 Hebrew letters, 1, 412 Hebrew words, 101 verses, and takes up about 179 lines in a Torah scroll. Jews read it the 20th Sabbath after Simchat Torah (in February or March). It might be important to the story of DIG because the Tetzaveh encompasses Exodus 27:20-30:10. It also contains all of God's commands on how to make sacred garments for priests.

Also: there are 7 readings of it, and Jews who read the Book of Exodus in accordance to a cycle do so in a triennial cycle--in serial fashion, over a 3 year period. Many Reform, Reconstructionist, Conservative, and Renewal Jewish congregations began doing this in the 19th-20th centuries. There's actually a whole lot more to it than that sad bit of tossed out information, but I was raised Presbyterian and that means my brother and I always started games of Tic-Tac-Toe whenever the minister started reading from the Bible. (I can only click on so many links in Wikipedia before my brain goes: Hey! We are NOT a computer! Dial it down! Is what I'm saying to you.)

At any rate, there you go. Breastplate, stones, Urim & Thummim. I want to say that I feel like the Urim and the Thummim are kind of like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum from ALICE IN WONDERLAND, but I'm worried a Mormon out there will come running out of the desert like a bat out of hell, find me, and make me his 253rd Sister-Wife. And all the other sister-wives will shun me, because I can't clean a toilet or cook a roast to save my life.

Up next time I put my researcher-geek on full display for the World Wide Web: the Ark of the Covenant. (I'm saving the Temple Mount for last, because that is some screwed up shit. Seriously, religionists--get. it. TOGETHER. Honestly. I mean, Jeez Louise.)