temple mount--DON'T TOUCH IT.

Oh my god, Internet. Tonight is the conclusion of DIG (on USA!). Remember when it started, back on March 5? We were young, we were in love! The world was our oyster, we had it all! All the possibilities! And now we have to say good-bye; parting is such sweet sorrow. (My Nostalgia Issues are in full effect. Wait until I do my Dig #10 write up!)

Also, because I haven't said it here on this blog yet: I am so thankful to Jason Isaacs for (a) putting up with me on Twitter and (b) retweeting and putting out the link to this blog on his Twitter page. First off, what he said about my geeky researcher issue was so NICE (Jason Isaacs is so NICE, Internet--you be nice to him!), that I have a feeling Jason may be a bit of a geeky researcher himself. Maybe? Second off, now not just my mom and 10 friends have visited this blog, and that's nice too. I don't know if he'll see this, but if he does: Thank you, Jason! That was so nice of you, I will forgive you for 1,000 things for the next 50 years, including but not limited to pillaging entire towns. (If your town gets pillaged and you complain about it, first I will ask you: Was it Jason Isaacs? And if you say "Yes! Jason Isaacs pillaged my town!" I will tell you to stop complaining--clearly your town needed pillaging and also THAT WAS JASON ISAACS.)

Okay. Onward! Here's your quick (heh, not really) & dirty on the Most Controversial Rock on the Planet:

Temple Mount--in Hebrew, known as Har HaBayit or Har HaMoriya. In Arabic known as Haram Al-Sharif, the Noble Sanctuary. Trapezoid in shape. Located in southeastern, Old City Jerusalem. Four religions have controlled and used it for thousands and thousands of years: Judaism, Islam, the Roman religion, and Christianity. Currently, it is occupied by four buildings from the Islamic Umayyad period: al-Aqsa Mosque, the Dome of the Rock (the gold structure you see featured prominently in DIG), the Dome of the Chainm and walls from King Herod's reign. The Temple Mount is also associated with Mount Zion (Har Tsiyyon), which is a hill just outside the walls of Old City Jerusalem, and is sometimes used in reference to the entire land of Israel.

There have been 2 Temples--the first Temple was built by King Solomon, second son of David and Bathsheba, second King of the United Kingdoms of Israel and Judah. It was completed about 957 BCE. There is no archaeological evidence for the existence of a 1st Temple except for Biblical and rabbinical sources, as well as the Roman-Jewish historian Josephus' writings. Some scholars believe a Jebusite sanctuary stood there before Solomon built the Temple (the Jebusites were also known as the Canaanites--remember Dinah and Jacob?). In fact, the earliest known inhabitants of the area we now call Jerusalem were from the early Bronze Age period, about 3,000 BCE. Archaeological excavations have shown evidence of a town on the south side of Mount Moriah (also known as the Temple Mount). The name of this town was Urusalim, which means "foundation of Shalem," or "foundation of God."

Around 1,000 BCE, David conquered Urusalim, founded the joint kingdoms of Israel and Judah, and Urusalim became the capital. The Ark of the Covenant, traveling around with the Israelites wherever they went, was moved into Urusalim, around 955 BCE. The Ark is basically a portable shrine, inside it being the Ten Commandments given to Moses, and also--essentially--God's holy digs. (God was housed in the Ark, is what I'm saying.)

Mt. Moriah was already holy when Solomon decided to build his temple there, for a couple of reasons:

1. This is where Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac.
but
2. Before THAT, this is the spot the serpent Tahum held the bare rock in its mouth. In the Book of Proverbs, Chapter 30, there is a prophecy about "the serpent of the rock." It is also brought up in the Book of Revelations, in Chapters 13 and 18.

It is, therefore, an Axis Mundi, which is a portal, an intersection of sorts, between the underworld and and the upper world. This is where ley lines come in--ley lines are alignments of geographic and historic significance and interest, such as ancient monuments (or, you know, Temples), natural ridges and rocks (the Grand Canyon, for instance), waterways and the like. We've been using the term since about 1921 when an amateur archaeologist named Alfred Watkins coined it. The geographic and historic areas of interest are considered mystical, and Alfred believed there was a whole system of them in Britain, actually (Stonehenge, anyone?). But basically, you can connect a line from one mystical place of significance to another, and essentially, the lines all lead to the same place (i.e., each other...there is no way to get lost, in other words. If you follow the ley lines...they're like magic Yellow Brick Roads).

They're connected to Axis Mundi in that an Axis Mundi is basically: the center of the world. It's the connection between Heaven and Earth. A magical, mystical pole, if you will. Or maybe an umbilical cord. It can be natural (a tree, a mountain, a vine), or man-made (a staircase, a totem pole, a church steeple). It can be secular in nature (a lighthouse, a rocket, a skyscraper), or religious (a temple, a mosque, a church).

Every inhabited spot on our planet has an Axis Mundi, supposedly, a place that is sacred above all. (I bet America's is Walt Disney World.) The main thing about an Axis Mundi is that it is ordered; it is settled, it is calm, it is peace. Everything that expands out from it (North, South, East, West) is mass chaos. But when you are in the Axis Mundi? Soooo chill, brother (and sister).

So the Temple Mount--it's supposedly an Axis Mundi. A spot you can speak to God. A place you can Know All and Be At Peace. And because it is SO very ancient, and SO full of mysticism, the Temple Mount is considered the PREMIERE Axis Mundi of the world; our planet's belly button. The spot all the ley lines from everywhere else lead to. Making us all one big, happy family. (HA! Just kidding...read on.)

When Jacob came to the spot, he took a stone from the spot his father Isaac had almost been sacrificed by his grandfather Abraham and he slept on that stone, using it as a pillow. While he slept, Jacob had a prophetic dream so amazing that when he woke up, he anointed the stone with holy oil he'd received from Heaven itself. And when he did that, the stone sunk deep into the earth, becoming the foundation stone upon which Solomon would build the first Temple. The spot was known as "Bethel," meaning Gate or House of Heaven.

The second Temple, begun by Ezra and Nehemiah about 353 BCE, was completed around 349 BCE. The four walls surrounding the current area date back to the 2nd Temple Period (around end of 1st century, BCE).

The four walls around today's current Temple Mount are partly built underground, and they were built around the top of Mt. Moriah, the spot where Abraham supposedly went to sacrifice son Isaac upon receiving instructions from God to do so. The original (as in: Solomon's) 1st Temple was supposedly constructed here, on Mt. Moriah, to be a permanent resting spot for the Ark of the Covenant (the box that contained the Ten Commandments God gave Moses). According the Bible, the 1st Temple had a ceiling that was about 180 ft long, 90 ft wide, and 50 ft high. Its highest point was supposedly 20 stories (207 ft) high.

Solomon spared no expense when building the first Temple: he ordered massive amounts of cedarwood from King Hiram of Tyre, chose HUGE blocks of only the best stone. To build the Temple, King Solomon drafted workers into forced labor, making them work shifts that sometimes lasted months. 3,300 officials oversaw the 1st Temple's construction. Building the 1st Temple put Solomon into so much debt, he handed over 20 towns in Galilee to King Hiram to pay it off. When completed, King Solomon inaugurated the Temple with sacrifices and prayer. He even invited non-Jews to come worship there; Solomon wanted all the people of the Earth to know, hear, and worship God's name.

The most important room in Temple #1 was the most glorious and elaborate, and it contained not a single bit of furniture. It was called The Holiest of Holies (Kodhesh Kadashim), and this is where the Ark of the Covenant and the Ten Commandments lay. This, essentially, was where God dwelled.

Four hundred years later, Nebudchanezzar II of Assyria and the Babylonians destroyed this Temple (around 586 BCE), and the Ark (and its Tablets) disappeared to antiquity.

When the 2nd Temple was built, God's special area was reduced to a small, plain, bare room. The High Priest would enter the room only once a year, on Yom Kippur, to pray on behalf of the Israelite nation (breastplate, 12 stones). 

When Cyrus the Great of Persia took control of the area, all the exiled Israelites were allowed back into Jerusalem, thus making a 2nd Temple construction possible. They began construction at the site of Solomon's original Temple, which had lain in a devastated heap of rubble for over 70 years. It was finally completed and dedicated under King Darius of Persia's reign. King Herod finished it all off in 20-18 BCE, with the walls and he even smoothed off the surface of the Temple Mount and replaced all the foundation stones; for that, the Temple became known as Herod's Temple. There were four courts in Herod's Temple #2: the Court of the Priests (where they did the sacrifices), Court of Israel (men only), the Court of the Women, and the Court of the Gentiles (for non-Jews). Each edge of the Temple had a columned and covered area called a portico; Solomon's Portico was on the eastern side, and probably where Mary and Joseph found 12 year old Jesus who had disappeared to talk religion with the priests.

Eventually, the Romans conquered Israel and when they did, they lay waste to both Jerusalem and the Temple Mount, about 70 CE, under Emperor Titus. Not only did they build a temple to Jupiter on this spot, they also destroyed it as a calculated act; its destruction was meant to disenfranchise Jews, to disconnect them from their holy city, their holy relics, and their holiest sanctuary of worship. The Romans renamed Israel "Palestinia," a further effort to disconnect Jews from Israel. The only thing left from the Temple that was destroyed by the Romans is the Western Wall (also known as the Kotel, or the Wailing Wall).

When Roman emperor Constantine adopted Christianity as its religion around the 4th BCE, his mother St. Helena, supposedly built a small church on the Temple Mount, but really they focused their efforts on constructing the Church of the Holy Sepulchre nearby, which is now one of Christendom's holiest sites. Herod's Temple? It just remained a giant garbage dump site. For many many years. In fact, with each destruction of the Temple Mount, many holy relics and artifacts were lost to antiquity.

...and, supposedly, the ashes of a pure, unblemished red heifer. So now we have to start all over if a Temple #3 is to be built.

But building a Temple #3 would be baaaad news, World Wide Web. Because currently standing on (supposedly) the place where Solomon built Temple #1 is the beautiful gold domed Dome of the Rock, Qubbat As-Sakhrah, in Arabic). It was built towards the end of the 7th CE, somewhere between 681-691.  It was built Abd al-Malik, from the Umayyad Caliph period (a caliph is a civil/religious leader who succeeded Mohammad, and they lead the entire Islamic community). A mosque is nearby the Dome of the Rock--al Aqsa Mosque (meaning "the farthest mosque") and it is silver-domed.

Some mistakenly believe the Dome of the Rock itself is a mosque; it is not. It is merely a shrine, built on top of a foundation stone, the spot Muslims believe Mohammad took his famous Night Journey on a horse named Buraq, in one single trip in the year 621 CE. This was a physical and a spiritual journey (it's called Isra and Mi'raj) for Mohammad, and Muslims believe he ascended into Heaven to speak to God and be given details about how to pray, and he ascended into Heaven from the spot the foundation stone the Dome is built on.

Source: biblewalks.com

Around 1099, during the Crusades, Christians took over the Dome of the Rock. They called it "Templum Domini," and turned it into a church, constructing a cross on the dome. Al-Aqsa Mosque became the headquarters of the Knights Templar, called Templum Salomonis (Temple of Solomon.) The Christians were eventually driven out by Saladin and Dome of the Rock was given back to the Muslims.

Today, the Dome of the Rock is under the control of an Islamic foundation called the Waqf, and the Waqf's activities inside the Dome are monitored by the Israeli Antiquities Authority.

When you visit the Temple Mount today, you'll see the big gold dome, but also a huge plaza full of minarets, fountains, pavilions, date palms and cypress trees. There are 8 stairways that lead to the platform of the Dome of the Rock, and each has a set of arches where Islamic tradition says that the Last Judgement will use to hang scales on to weigh souls. There is also an Islamic Museum in the Southwest corner that displays ceramics and other archaeological artifacts removed during the restoration of the Dome.

There are also several blocked gateways that had stairs or ramps leading into or out of the city. The eastern wall is where The Golden Gate supposedly was; it's the spot Jews think the Messiah will enter Jerusalem. And then there's the Western Wall (the Kotel) where people pray and leave written prayers in the wall.

The big controversy around Dome of the Rock right now (and why it's a ticking time bomb, essentially) is who it belongs to. And who gets to use it; who has access to it. Right now, non-Muslims are allowed in through the Moors' Gate, located near the Western Wall. The hours of visitation are restricted, and no one is allowed in during Muslim prayer times, or when there is tension between Arabs and Jews. And modest dress is required. The Israeli police and government support these rules.

If you aren't Muslim, you won't be allowed to actually go into the Dome of the Rock or Al-Aqsa Mosque. And non-Muslim prayer on the Temple Mount is a big, big NO (no).

However, the Chief Rabbinite of Israel has placed a warning for Jews that they aren't to go in there anyway--it's too holy. I mean, hello! You might step on the LORD accidentally.

In addition to all of THAT, who knows what lies beneath the Dome...thousands and thousands of years' worth of antiquities. And DON'T TOUCH IT. (There was controversy a couple of years ago when the people running the Dome of the Rock put in new carpet, and the Antiquities Authority wasn't notified--apparently, the ancient floor was exposed and some geeky people really wanted to see it and document it. But now it's got new modern materials on it, so. Crap.) (This sounds JUST like an episode of HGTV, where they pull up flooring and find beautiful parquet floors underneath and go: Why'd they cover THIS up?? People have NO taste.) (And also, it sounds like my Home Owner's Association, every time I want to plant flowers in my front yard: DON'T TOUCH IT.)

I could probably go on and on for about 200 more pages--I could spend gobs and gobs of time talking about the anger and resentment over how very conservative and religious Jews feel Muslims need to get the heck off their property, and how very conservative and religious Muslims feel Jews need to get the heck over themselves.

But I'm not going to do that, because that's going on right now, in some corner of the Internet and if you want to get involved in that kind of discussion and stress your spleen and guts out, you go right ahead. I've got enough stuff on my own Life Plate and my spleen and guts will burst if I have to have one more stress on it. So go ye forth, seek and ye shall find. But please don't do it here, because quite frankly when it comes to religion I've about had it. I'm spiritual; I believe in a Something...and I love you guys, and I know this is what keeps you going 7 days a week, and so I want you to do that which brings you comfort and peace. But please also know some of you get so intense about it you weird me out and give me the sads. The world simply doesn't have to be like this. And we don't need to be fighting over a rock, I'm sorry if you disagree with me, but there it is: stop fighting over a rock, Major World Religions. If I were allowed into the Dome of the Rock and could find the spot the serpent had in its mouth, I would step into that Axis Mundi and have a long talk with Heaven. And I bet Heaven would agree with me: Yes, Amy, those guys ARE ridiculous, and Yes, Amy, you SHOULD be in charge.

And THEN we could have World War 3, world. Because DIG (on USA!) ends TONIGHT and I'm going to need to have something to keep myself occupied.

jumping jehoshaphat

Dearest Internet, 

Can we chat for a minute? I have to tell you: I really keep meaning to post a ridiculously long and very very thorough research article here about Temple Mount, because I feel like it's sort of the center piece to the show DIG. But the more I talk to people, and the more I read, the sadder I get. Humanity, for real?! Over a rock. Honestly. 

No, no! I get it, I get it...it's just. Listen: I'm a Christian in culture only, as I do not believe Jesus is Magic, and I have become a godless heathen who hasn't graced the inside of a holy building for nigh going on 3 years now and the last time was for a Christmas Eve service and I only went because my mom was buying dinner. (Hi, Mom! I love you! I promise how I've turned out is ME and not you.) 

I get it--I am surely hell bound for not taking God seriously--I'm certain the Universe has directed me to the story of Jehoshaphat as Its first warning shot. But then I think about my sister-in-law's sweet Baptist Grandmama who always said to you, whenever you were worried or really really angry about something, "Now look at y'all get y'all self riled. A hundred years from now, is this still going to matter?" 

And the answer is no. NO it won't matter. And this is why I think the Temple Mount stuff...gah, wait! That argument won't work, I just realized, people have been fighting over the Temple Mount for MILLENIA...so Grandmama's wisdom is futile here. Poop. Ok. Well, then...let's move on, shall we?

I will post what I learned about it, soon. Possibly this weekend. But I want every single one of you reading this to know I feel nervous about doing it. Because I've seen some things and I've read some things and I don't want anybody coming in here, to a comments section, to insist: Oh, that belongs to US not THEM. and start Armageddon in this blog. I read the Internet--I know how you people are. I see you on FOX Nation and in Yahoo! News Articles and in the Education section of Huffingtonpost.com. I won't have it here, I won't have it--I'm the peace and love and tolerance and connections girl...nooobody's allowed to be angry here. When I start talking about Dome of the Rock/Temple Mount. I mean it.

Sincerely,

Amy 

(who thinks John Lennon's IMAGINE should be taught as gospel in public schools and universities)

So instead, let's talk about Jehoshaphat today, shall we? And I apologize if I misspell or typo his name throughout this piece--typing it, for me, is like trying to type out Missississsssiiiissspppippi 100 times real fast.

But first: A Game of Chess.

But! Before we talk about HIM, let's talk about the game of chess briefly. 'Cause I looked it up. And I looked it up because Gregory Donaldson, in episode 8, was given a Bishop chess piece (I was told) in the mail. And Emma was casually fingering that same piece in dad Donaldson's Room of Freaking Psycho. 

I don't play chess, but here's what Wikipedia told me to do with the Bishop: each player gets two Bishops. To start, one Bishop is placed between the King and his knight, and the other is placed between the Queen and her knight. There are no restrictions on how a Bishop can move in chess (whereas some pieces can only move forward or diagonal), but it's not allowed to jump over the others (but Knights can). 

The interesting thing about the Bishop piece (when I think of DIG) is that when you begin, you decide which wing each Bishop will play on...you decide at the beginning which of your Bishops will stay on either all the light-colored squares...and which Bishop will stay on the dark-colored squares (Sons of Light...Sons of Dark--right?). 

In Medieval chess, there was no Bishop. There was the alfil, meaning elephant, and it could jump and move diagonal and move 2 squares. Because it had such movement, it got restricted to 8 squares only and alfils couldn't attack each other. The Bishop came along around 1200, just as The Crusades were ending, but it wasn't officially called a "Bishop" until about the 1600s. What I'm trying to tell you is chess is an old game. An old, very old, game. 

And it's a game of strategy, of outwitting your opponent. Less experienced players tend to underestimate the power of a Bishop; more experienced players do not. As the game nears an end, and more pieces are captured and more lines on which they can play open up, a Bishop becomes more and more powerful, when used correctly. For example, two bishops together are far more superior to one bishop, a knight, or a pair of knights. And two Bishops vs. a King forces a checkmate, and when checkmate happens? Game. OVER. 

So. Gregory was sent a Bishop piece. Where's the other piece? Who has it? And are they saying to Gregory: time to wake up out of your muted psychosis? The endgame is near? 

(I'm still thinking about that. You go think about it too if you'd like...and also: if you play chess, will you come to my house and teach me? Because now that I've learned more about it, I think people who are good at that game are kind of hot, and I'd so I'd like to hang out with you. I promise you'll beat me, because I'm a horrible--HORRIBLE--strategizer.)

Onward to Valley of Jehoshaphat:

Source: bibleencyclopedia.com

Jehoshaphat means "God judges." It's from the same Hebrew root word as the name of the 7th book of the Old Testament, Judges (Shophatim). He was the 4th king of the Kingdom of Judah, and his reign was considered one of the most prosperous in its history. (At one point, Israel was divided into two kingdoms: Judah to the south, Israel to the north.) It became prosperous when it allied itself with Assyria, which wanted to control the olive industry. Eventually, around 605 BCE, Egypt and Neo-Babylon fought for control of it, and it fell and became part of the Neo-Babylonian Empire.

The other thing about Judah is that it was always at war with its neighbors Israel and Egypt. Jehoshaphat's father, King Asa of Judah, reigned for 35 years in peace, until in his 36th year Baasha of Israel confronted Asa creating a dangerous situation. So Asa took gold and treasure from the Temple Mount and sent them to the king of Damascus to convince them to end their peace treaty with Israel. Damascus attacked Israel, and Baasha was defeated. Asa used this to fortify his own borders.

Jehoshaphat, like his father Asa, was very pious in that he hated idolatry. He had a friendly, BIG personality, and so his people immensely liked and trusted him. Which is why, in the 3rd year of his reign, he sent out priests from the tribe of Levi to teach the people of Judah the Torah, and about morality, and to show them how to worship the one true God properly. In the Bible, Jehoshaphat is praised because of this, and God blesses his reign and his kingdom.

Jehoshaphat also reorganized Judah--he divided it into districts and rearranged the judicial system so it aligned with what the Torah commanded. He built a large, well-organized army and fortified his borders. By doing this, he earned the respect and admiration of neighboring countries. The Edomites, Arabs, Philistines, and others came to Jehoshaphat to pay him tributes to keep his goodwill. 

One day, Jehoshaphat took a royal trip to Samaria and agreed to help Ahab, the King of Israel, fight the king of Syria. Ahab and Jehoshaphat were allied via the marriage of Jehoshaphat's son Joram to Ahab's daughter. But at the end of the fight, Ahab was killed and Israel defeated. 

Jehoshaphat was allowed to return to Judah but when he got back, all his prophets were so annoyed and they all yelled at him. So then, Jehoshaphat was basically like, "Yeah, I know you guys, my bad." And he promised to do better.

But then, one day? Jehoshaphat (trying to increase his kingdom's wealth) started trading with people along the Mediterranean Sea. Ahab's son Ahaziah was King of Israel now, and Jehoshaphat went into the maritime business with him. Bad financial move, because God was watching and got pretty ticked about that, since Ahaziah was NOT very moral and didn't do worship right, and so God sent a big storm and destroyed Jehoshaphat's entire fleet of ships.

At that, Jehoshaphat was all "Okay, okay. I GET it, God." And when Ahaziah came and said, "Hey, Jehoshaphat, want to re-new our partnership?" Jehoshaphat was like, "Nope. Take thy idolatrous self back to Israel, Ahaziah."

Still Jehoshaphat was friendly (remember?) and so he stayed in touch with Ahaziah--sent him little messages via pigeon or donkey or whatever once in awhile, checking in (like ancient Facebook status updates, texts, emails). So later, when he asked for Jehoshaphat's help in fighting the Moabites, Jehoshaphat said: Sure. And used his Edomite connections and also asked the Prophet Elisha to guide him. Elisha, because Jehoshaphat came to him humble and regular people, let him know: "Oh, yeah, you're good; you got this." And then? God smote Moab. As God is wont to do (in these stories).

Later, however, the Moabites were able to get the Edomites all worked up against the Kingdom of Judah. So THEN, the Moabites, Edomites, and Ammonites went after the Kingdom of Judah. Jehoshaphat's army was weak and depleted from the other Moab thing, so he just asked his people to go on a fast and pray--pray hard. 

During the fast, Jehoshaphat himself offered prayers to God for help, and God answered them. A prophet said there would be complete victory, because the battle wasn't theirs, but God's. So Jehoshaphat's army, getting a second wind, marched on Jerusalem to see what was what. When it got there, everything was over. Corpses all around. Stick a fork in it. Because it turned out the Moabites and Edomites and Ammonites didn't actually trust each other, in fact, hated each other...so they they did what neighboring gangs in busted down neighborhoods usually do: drive bys and shoot outs, and you know. Just basically killed each other until they were all dead. (I have very Tea Party Conservative friends who feel this is a smart idea for most situations. Which is why I'm pro-gun control.)

Jehoshaphat collected all the spoils of war, without having really to lift a finger, and the Kingdom of Judah prospered in peace until he died at age sixty and his son Joram became King. (Reggae-themed fairy tale ending music inserted HERE--you'll find out why in a minute.)

The Valley of Jehoshaphat, connecting Kidron Valley to the Valley of Hinnom, which is a valley of graves

In Israel, today, there is an area known as the Valley of Jehoshaphat. It's also the area known as Kidron Valley, and it's an ancient burial ground.

The Valley of Jehoshaphat is located in the Old City of Jerusalem, on the Eastern side, right near the Temple Mount. The part that is Kidron Valley actually separates Temple Mount from the Mount of Olives. (In case you don't know: Temple Mount is sacred to both Jews and Muslims; it's Judaism's holiest site--where the original Temple stood/Abraham almost killed Isaac...and it's Islam's 3rd holiest site--where the Prophet Mohammad ascended into Heaven on a white horse. The Mount of Olives is sacred to Christians--this is the spot Jesus supposedly ascended into Heaven after rising from the dead.) It is filled with flat, rocky tombs, and it was one of the main burial grounds during the 2nd Temple period. This area stretches for about 20 miles through the Judean Desert toward the Dead Sea.

The Hebrew Bible calls it Emek Yehoshafat, and in Jewish prophecies, it's the location the Prophet Elijah will come when he returns...followed by the Messiah...followed by the War of Gog and Magog, aka Judgment Day, aka Armageddon. (Basically if Disneyland is the Happiest Place on Earth, the Valley of Jehoshaphat is like the antidote.)

In the Book of Joel 3:11-12, the prophet Joel talked about it:

Assemble yourselves, and come, all ye heathen, and gather yourselves together round about: thither cause thy mighty ones to come down, O LORD. Let the heathen be wakened, and come up to the valley of Jehoshaphat: for there will I sit to judge all the heathen round about.

Modern day people like to talk about Jehoshaphat still, by using his name in silly ways: "jumping Jehoshaphat," for example. 

In Isaac Asimov's ROBOT series, it's often used as an expletive. 

And Jehoshaphat is the subject of a reggae song by Max Romeo called "Valley of Jehoshaphat." (While not even HALF as awesome or summery as Bob Marley's STIR IT UP or THREE LITTLE BIRDS, Max does sing a really very interesting song that mentions the color red a lot, garments dipped in blood, Robin Hood, and something about two being in bed and one being taken away, and money being spread all over the land...GO HERE and listen.)

Dinah: the original feminine mystique

I'll just be honest: I wouldn't kick that guy's shoes
out from under my bed. 

So last week, in DIG #7 (Trust No One), toward the end, the breastplate of stones is lit up by fire and illuminated on the cave ceiling we saw the stones projecting written Hebrew. I just so happen to have contacts who read and speak fluent Hebrew, and so I can tell you that the names illuminated on the ceiling were: Simeon (or Shimon), Levi (or Levy), and the last one, the one that crazy Rabbi Lev breathes out? Dinah. (There are various spellings; I prefer Dinah, so I'm staying with that, but the pronunciation is: DEEN-ah). In fact, I culled my sources from an extensive variety of places on the Internet, but then I was all: but what were the Hebrew words on the cave ceiling?! and so I got on the phone and called friend Ellen, who is my go-to Israel/Judaism/Hebrew expert. (No, seriously. AND she gives me health advice...that I promptly ignore because I never follow directions when it comes to health advice.) Her husband is a Rabbi, and so I got some first-hand Dinah information from him, too. Thank you, thank you!

So let's talk about Dinah, because I'm feeling the color red all around her.

Years ago, I read a really excellent book that was eventually turned into a Lifetime movie called THE RED TENT by Anita Diamant. It was a fictionalized version of Dinah's story. There's some controversy around it; some people are upset because they think it takes too much license with the Biblical story of Dinah. And that, also, there's no historical evidence ancient Israelite women had specialized tents they disappeared into when they gave birth or were on their ladies' days.

There are, however, actually two interpretations of Dinah's story and one is that she wasn't raped. (And here I'll just be upfront and let you know: I'm on Team Consenting Adults.) 

If you've been exposed to the Bible and/or Diamant's book, you probably already know who Dinah was. But let me tell you more about her, according to Biblical scholars:

The name Dinah means "Judgement." Dinah was born to Jacob and Leah, and she was the sister of the patriarchs of the 12 Tribes of Israel. Her story can be found in Genesis Chapter 34. But lots of stories about Dinah can also be found in the Midrash, a sort of ancient commentary on the Torah that analyzes and fills in story gaps; it's been around since the 2nd century AD, though the content it discusses is much, much older. 

According to parts of the Midrash, Dinah was actually destined to be Jacob's 11th son (Joseph), but Leah didn't want that. Rachel, Leah's sister, was also married to Jacob, and had only had one son, while Leah had already had six. So Leah begged God to make her fetus a girl, and God did. Forever after (some say), Dinah may have felt, in her soul, that she was a male and was very similar in nature to her brother Joseph (he of the amazing technicolor dreamcoat, tricked and sold into slavery by his conniving brothers). She was very forward and assertive for a woman of her time. 

She's also the only daughter of Jacob mentioned in the book of Genesis. According to the Midrash, it was highly unlikely that Jacob had no other daughters, and it suggests that each of Jacob's 12 sons were born with a female twin, who they would marry if Canaanites became forbidden (more on the Canaanites in a minute). 

Another Midrash tale is that Dinah had a child named Osnat from her dalliance with Shechem (more on him in a minute). Osnat was a daughter, and Dinah's family hated Osnat so much they banished her to Egypt either with the angel Gabriel or Dinah took her. Osnat was taken in by Pharaoh's wife, and ended up marrying (get this!) Dinah's brother Joseph.  Which kept it aaaallll in the family, just like the Jacobites seem to have liked it.

At the end (in the Midrash), Dinah ended up marrying Job (he upon whom God played a really unfair game with Satan) and had 10 children with him. (In other texts she ends up married to other men--one of them, her brother Simeon. Ew, gross! But then, that's modern day taboo for you...times were different in ancient BCE.) (Also they got to live to, like, 167 years old and stuff. Those ancient people must have had some kick ass health care insurance.)

The symbolic story behind Dinah is about the ancient Israelites trying to establish ties and social boundaries with outsiders (aka the Canaanites): her story is essentially about marriage, and back then (and it can be today if you choose well) marriage was about mutual respect, bonding (giving and taking), and being cooperative with outsiders (those not of your tribe).

The area the story of Dinah takes place in was called Shechem. Shechem was a Canaanite city, and the first capital of the Kingdom of Israel. Today, Shechem would be part of the West Bank, where the city of Nablus is (about 49 km/30 miles north of Jerusalem). It was one of the oldest settlements in Canaan, and it's first referenced in Genesis when Abraham goes there and builds an altar near a tree to offer God sacrifices. Later, Abraham's grandson Jacob (Dinah's dad) camps out near Shechem and also builds an altar there. This is where shit gets real and hits the fan all at once because, ultimately, Dinah's story is about uniting the land of Israel--making it whole--and to do that, the Jacobites needed to mix in with the Canaanites, and there begins the rising action, the conflict, in Dinah's story arc.

Shechem, in Dinah's time, was the center of a movement, a blending of many different languages, customs, beliefs--diversity abounded there. All of these different traditions eventually merged to become Israel. And Dinah was an assertive, progressive, open-minded woman; she WANTED to socialize and get to know people who were different from her.

The important thing to know about Dinah is that she was accepting of others' differences and those considered to be "outsiders." One day, a Canaanite prince named Shechem (yes, same name as his town) decided he was in love with Dinah and wanted her. This is where the differing versions of what happened begin:

Version #1, and the accepted Biblical tale: 

Shechem raped Dinah. Afterwards, he asked to marry her. But Dinah's brothers were pretty pissed, particularly Simeon and Levi, and they wanted revenge. So they told Shechem he could have Dinah, but only after he and all the men in Shechem were properly circumcised ***(I actually have a personal circumcision story to share, but I'll do it at the end of this article so you can skip it if you'd prefer--I know it's a controversial topic for some.)*** 

Shechem and his men consented to the circumcisions, and while they were recovering in pain (because seriously: OUCH), on the 3rd day (the day the recovery pain just so happens to be at its worst), Simeon and Levi and their other brothers ambushed and slew all the men of Shechem--every single one of them. (BAD FORM, SIMEON AND LEVI! You can't cut a man when he's down after being...cut. Bad. Form.) 

This made coexistence between Jacob's tribe (Israel) and the Shechemites (Canaan) virtually impossible. So there goes those peace accords.

Version #2, the Feminine Mystique tale:

Version #2, according to my Judaism expert, is the only story according to Judaism. And that's good, because it's the more awesome version as far as I'm concerned (and the team I'd root for). This is the version that says Dinah had consensual sex with Shechem. 

Dinah was actually a midwife. So in one version of this tale, Dinah goes outside to gather herbs for her midwifery stuff. She runs into Shechem, a local Canaanite prince, who hits on her and convinces her he's in love with her and would she please come back to his place and oh, I don't know....marry him? 

In another version of the story I found, she goes on a walkabout because she's curious about the Shechemites/Canaanites--she wanted to know about their festivals and celebrations, culture and food, and so she left her tent to see what was going on in town. While there, she ran into Shechem, who became instantly so smitten by her he asked to sleep with her. Being a woman who was self-confident and open, she said...Okay. 

And they did.

Here's what you should know (real quick) about sex in ancient times: there were two kinds. There was regular sex and prostitution sex. Sex in ancient times created bonding, a sense of obligation, a feeling of unity. There would have been a sort of "married" feel to what Dinah chose to do with Shechem. But prostitution sex was far different; that was for money, which made it dirty, which meant nice girls didn't do it.

So when Dinah chose to have sexual intercourse with Shechem, to lie with him, this version of Dinah's story insists the act was really the ultimate form of acceptance, of bonding with the outsiders, The Others. Afterwards, Hamor (Shechem's dad) goes to talk to Jacob about Shechem marrying his daughter--and this is where the symbolic give/take part of joining the Jacobites and the Canaanites together to create Israel comes into play: give your daughter Dinah to my son Shechem, and we will share our land. (Something sort of like that, I think.) 

However, just like in Version #1, Dinah's brothers Simeon and Levi are PISSED. Upon finding out what Dinah and Shechem have done, they cry out, "Should our sister be treated like a whore?" (In modern times, our USA version of this would have probably have been like The Jerry Springer Show.)

In Version #2, what Simeon and Levy were actually mad about was the bonding/uniting of the two tribes, because the last thing Simeon/Levi wanted was to intermarry with the Canaanites. (They had sister wives waiting for them, remember? Who needs Canaanites?)

So when Jacob hears about Dinah and Shechem's sweet sweet lovemaking, at first he's very quiet (maybe humming: "Is this the little girl I carried?..." because if I made this scene into a movie, I'd put Sunrise, Sunset in as background music for this bit. But I digress)...but then he negotiates for Dinah to marry Shechem. The assertion of Team Consensual Sex is that this negotiation stuff also happened in Story Version #1, because Hamor (Shechem's dad) also tries to get Dinah and Shechem married off. Scholars claim that, if what happened to Dinah had truly been rape, that wouldn't have happened--Jacob would have been obligated to protect his daughter and all his other women and seek justice; in fact, he curses Simeon and Levy for seeking justice. 

So really, the shame aspect of Version #2 is that Dinah was unmarried. Shechem wanted to marry her/make an honest woman out of her, but there was the Simeon/Levi Problem--two beefy dudes who were just not going to let this go. Premarital sex would have been a violation of the Jacobites' social group norms, but something that could have been dealt with via the act of marriage. So the actual tension in the situation was just that Simeon and Levi simply didn't want to intermix with the Canaanites. Simeon and Levy end up killing Shechem and friends and family (and raping/pillaging the town while they're at it...in addition, Dinah has to find her beloved's slain corpse knowing it was done at the hands of her own brothers), thus making it virtually impossible for the Jacobites and Canaanites to peacefully coexist and become one united nation and people.

Okay. Let's talk about Simeon and Levy--want to? Because seriously. What a couple of frickin' knobs, right? 

Simeon was the 2nd son of Leah and Jacob. His name means, essentially, "God has heard my suffering," and Leah named him that because Jacob preferred her sister Rachel over her. 

In the Midrash, it's Simeon who convinces Hamor and Shechem to have all the Canaanite men circumcised, and he also ends up slaying all the men himself (and kidnapping 100 Canaanite women at the same time). More traditional sources say he while he was physically strong, he was also a very envious fellow, particularly toward his brother Joseph. After he and Levi kill Shechem and his people, Jacob punishes Simeon because he's placed their family in such danger. When Jacob dies, in his final blessing to Simeon, he condemns Simeon's descendants to become divided and scattered (that's horrible blessing, by the way, and there's a name for it: The Blessing of Jacob...which is actually a poem in Genesis 49: 1-27).

Simeon had six children: Jemuel, Jamin, Ohad, Saul, Jachin, and Zohar. When the Canaanites were overthrown by Joshua, the children of the Tribe of Simeon were given a part of the land in the area known as Judah. The Tribe of Simeon really dwindled in numbers, in the end. If they're out there still, they're like the Sumatran Tigers of all the 12 Tribes...nearly extinct.

Levi was really interesting to me as I researched this: he was the 3rd son of Leah and Jacob. His name means "to join," but most scholars suspect it actually just means "priest," referring to people who were joined to the Ark of the Covenant. While Simeon was very strong and envious, Levi was very pious but had tremendous impulse control. When Jacob blessed Levi, he also condemned Levi's descendants to become divided and scattered. 

Levi fathered three sons--Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. Kohath later had a son named Amram, who married Jochebed, and they were the parents of Moses, Aaron, and Miriam. (There's some confusion and differing interpretations of who Jochebed was, but the important thing, I think is that Moses, Aaron, and Miriam were all descendants of Levi.) 

The important thing about Levi (in terms of the show DIG), I think is that Levi supposedly had 2 visions: one in which he saw seven heavens, the Messiah, and Judgement Day. Levi's second vision was one that showed him seven angels bringing him priesthood, prophecy, and judgement. In that vision, the angels anointed Levi, making him a priest and telling him about his descendant Moses. In other words, Levi (a priest) is connected to the Messiah AND the Ark of the Covenant.

When Joshua divided up Israel amongst the Levites, they were given 42 cities located throughout the lands of the other 11 Tribes of Israel, but were given no land because God Himself was their inheritance. In these cities, the Levites were always the spiritual teachers. If you accidentally caused someone's death? You wanted to run to the nearest Levite city you could possibly get to. 

They were and are a tribe that was supposed to represent peace and harmony, and they were given the command to guard the Ark of the Covenant from defilement and destruction. Aaron, a descendant of Levi, was Israel's first high priest, and so the Levites essentially became a priestly class and their descendants were comprised of family dynasties integrated into Jewish societies. 

So that's Simeon and Levi. 

WAIT!! Before I go, can I tell you about Jacob, whose name God eventually changed to Israel? Because he was sort of knob, too--apples don't fall far from trees.

Jacob was the son of Rebekah and Isaac, and the grandson of Abraham. God established his covenant with Abraham, and blessed all of his descendants (including Jacob, and the 12 Tribes of Israel). Jacob was the younger of twins, and was born holding onto his brother Esau's heel. Jacob's name means "he grasps" or "he deceives." In fact, he really did! Jacob was a master liar, manipulator, and a schemer. He took advantage of Isaac's old age and blindness and cheated his big brother Esau out of his birthright and blessing, with the help of his mother Rebekah. 

Jacob struggled his whole life: with his father, with his brother, with his faith, and with his God. In fact, when God renamed him Israel, God did it because Israel means "struggles with God." As he aged, Jacob mellowed and relied on God more and more and started being nicer. But the night Jacob became "Israel," he had an all-out wrestling match with God (actually one of God's archangels) in which the Lord broke Jacob's hip to remind him just Who was actually in charge. (Honestly. Who the hell gets into a wrestling match with an all-powerful, Omnipresent deity and one of that deity's supernatural bodyguards?? Crazy people, THAT'S who). For the rest of his life, Jacob was called Israel, and he walked with a limp to remind him: Who's your daddy? GOD'S your daddy. 

And, eventually, Jacob learned to let go and let God. 

Jacob's claim to fame (besides literally being Israel and fathering the 12 Tribes) was that he had a vision in which God showed him the future: Jews would establish their own nation, then be scattered to the ends of the Earth, but they would all one day return to their homeland. Which actually did come true, the end.

Okay. That's pretty much it. Except listen: I searched high and low for information on Dinah's Sisters, and all I got were results leading back to Episode 8 of DIG. I think the point about this is...Dinah was officially the only daughter of Jacob, but she HAD to have had sisters. And Jacob was Israel. And he had two sons who screwed harmony and unity up for the Jacobites and the Canaanites. And later, the descendants of one of those sons became the priestly class, commanded to always take care of God's Holy Home, the Temple Mount. 

I think it's also interesting that the show has two Rabbis--Shimon and Lev. Brothers? I dunno know. But let's keep watching and see! And also, let's start a massive letter writing campaign demanding more Seasons of DIG so a girl named Amy in Atlanta, Georgia doesn't go stir crazy with nothing to research. Okay?

***Okay! Now, for those who are interested--do you want to hear my personal circumcision story? If no, get out of here! I'm about to tell a pee pee story. If yes, read on:

So my mom struggled with whether or not to circumcise my little brother after he was born. Finally, when he was about 2-3 months old, she decided to pull the trigger. Or cut the skin. Whatever. So I was about 3 and I remember this, to this day, THAT'S how big a scream my baby brother let out when the doctor did it. Right before, I remember my mom asking: "Will this hurt him?" And the 1975 doctor going, "No. He's too young; he won't feel or remember a thing." And then that blood curdling scream.

About 4 years later, one night, my mom had just finished giving my brother a bath. Afterwards, she sat him naked on the closed toilet and went to get her little cuticle scissors to cut his toenails. When she came back into the bathroom, he took one look at the little scissors, put his hands over his little penis and cried, "No, mommy, NO!!" 

(FYI: Please, please, PLEASE do not start a war in my blog's comments section. I promise I'm not advocating for or against this practice; I'm just telling you a ridiculously cute personal family story. Also, I'm embarrassing my brother in public just like he used to do to me when we were teenagers...win-win!) 

dig (on usa!) thoughts: ep 6 (soulful wells)

I'm sorry! I am sorry. I typically try to do these on Sundays, but I'll just be flat out honest and tell you that I spent the vast majority of Sunday mourning my life. My Spring Break came to an end and I had to go back to my real job. Which is not even half as awesome as my make believe job (except I can't tell  you what my make believe job is, or I'd have to take you to an underground bunker and do things to you that are total violations of the Geneva Convention, yet Dick Cheney approved).

Okay. So my thoughts (from my notes!) about episodio numero seis de DIG (en USA!) (te prometo--no mas espanol. Debe ser en hebreo pero yo solo se espanol) (you can just copy/paste that into Google Translate and decode it...I'm trying to flex my Spanish muscles more these days just...cause I want to). 

Where was I?

Yes! DIG. On USA.

So (again) amazing writing (just expect me to write that during each one of these thought blogs--these writerly people have gigantic, smart brains...how the hell did they DO all this research and then pull it all together to tell this complex, magnificent tale???). Also expect one bad ass, HOLY SHIT TORPEDOS! moment--this week's was a resurrected dead person (didn't Jesus do that, too?). 

Here are things I noted that I thought matter a lot (from my notes!):

The Essene. Are you convinced he's a good guy? 'Cause I'M convinced (more and more) he's a good guy. Here's why:

1-He didn't kill Avram. In fact, he re-enacted the entire basis to the entire religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam; the ONE big scene from the Old Testament all 3 major religions agree on, the one incident that kind of makes us one big religious family...no matter how many times we've tried to warmonger, murder, and bomb the crap out of each other: this story is the reason we all like to say GOD IS LOVE. 

(This story is, of course, the part where God tells Abraham to take his most precious and beloved son Isaac up to Mt. Moriah and plunge a knife into him as a human sacrifice to prove Abraham's devotion to God. Abraham's totally going to do that, but then God stops him right before the knife goes down, and it's to show Abraham that God would never, ever require such a thing of HIS children--unlike that freaky Egyptian god Horus.

God loves Abraham [and Isaac] too much. But also: don't forget it, children--God's a jealous God, and so don't even try His patience. But yeah. God's got your back and loves you, you crazy kids!) 

side note: This is where religion gets really dysfunctional for me; these kinds of stories just seem like really fucked up parenting, and that an omniscient, all-knowing Creator ought to know better than to even suggest His children do such terrible things to one another. But then...I've done talk therapy and read hundreds if not thousands of self help books, and Psychiatry was just not a thing in ancient times.

So at any rate, that Essene is one cool jelly bean...when he wakes up (he wasn't REALLY asleep--are you kidding me? Essenes don't SLEEP) to find Avram with a knife over him, he gives him a chance to kill him, even instructing Avram how to do it properly. But The Essene knows--this is a sweet, innocent kid. So he re-enacts that scene to scare the crap out of Avram, teach him a lesson, but also show him mercy and love...in sort of a dysfunctional God-kind of way. Marching him to the spot he's going to do this, the Essene also tells Avram that maybe his tears can cleanse him of all the innocent blood that's been shed. 

So I'm leaning toward: Good Guy Essene. Kind of intense. A little over the top. But somebody you want with you if/when you're lost in the woods or the Negev Desert. 

2-Avram was plunged into a mikveh. I wrote about those. The writers did a good job incorporating that--it was historically accurate. Natural water in the tub via gravity. Ice counts--in my mikveh research, I did see a video of some men rolling around in some snow in Norway or Canada or somewhere Arctic-y to take a mikveh. Mikvehs--as long as it's naturally sourced water and you can submerse. 

I wasn't sure why the Essene burned some of Avram's hair, so I looked it up. I couldn't find anything specific about Essenes burning hair, but they were all about ritual, so it seemed legit. Maybe it was some kind of non-living sacrifice/repentant/part of Avram's repent-and-cleanse process? 

However, I did learn some more things about Essenes (if you're interested): they were all about repentance for sins (thus, the mikvehs), and they LOVED the color white (hence the Essene's dressing in white robes, shirts, outfits a lot). The mikveh that the Essene plunged Avram into would have been a regular ritual for an ancient Essene: many scholars contend that John the Baptist was an Essene, and this is why he baptized people in a river (mikvehs)...it would be a necessary act of repenting.

Oh, AND! Did you note? Avram and the Essene were eating vegetables--no meat on that table. And they were eating communally, which would be something the Essenes would do. Shared meals, no meat, very very somber at their meals (actually very somber a lot--Essenes took life SERIOUS. I, on the other hand, am unable to resist a good toilet joke).

Some more thoughts about DIG #6:

3-Catatonic Gregory. He's got Jerusalem Syndrome (maybe). Jerusalem Syndrome is a psychosis brought on by extreme religious or spiritual fervor due to a visit to Jerusalem. People become so consumed with the feels brought on by being in THE one city in the world that, if you were going to casually run into the Lord God Himself having coffee in a quiet side street cafe? This would be that city. People with JS become total, complete psychotics and don't get over it until they're removed from Jerusalem. (I sense this is behind what happened during The Crusades.)

So Gregory has the mysterious key symbol/architectural design for Crazy Ted's cult-y compound carved on his chest. Supposedly, Gregory carved it there himself after his father was killed by members of The Order of Moriah and Gregory went a tad nutty over it. 

So Gregory is unresponsive, but tracing--over and over--the name "Jehoshaphat" into dust on the windowsill. When Peter questions him about it, he goes berserk and attacks Peter. So let's talk about what Jehosophat means, who he was:

"Jehoshaphat" means "God judges." He was the 4th king of the Kingdom of Judah, about BCE 914. Jerusalem was located in Judah at that time, and there was a northern Kingdom of Israel. Jehoshaphat became king at 35, and ruled for 25 years. His father was Asa, and Jehoshaphat honored and followed the ways of his father, which was to worship the one true God. He worked as hard as he could to teach his people about morality and religion, and his riches and honors increased because of these good deeds. However, no matter how hard he tried, Jehoshaphat could not convince his people to worship the one true God of their ancestors. Later, at the end of his reign, there was a big battle called Ramoth-Gilead, and Jehoshaphat became Ahab's ally, and he also made an alliance with the King of Israel, Ahaziah, who was an evil man...and God destroyed everything Jehoshaphat had worked to build in a war with nation of Moab.

In the Bible, there is mention of the Valley of Jehoshaphat. This is a valley between Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives; the river Kidron runs through it. Jehoshaphat defeated enemies of Israel here, but it's also the location where, supposedly, God will gather all of the nations of the world when He's ready to caste His judgment on them. Jews have also used this valley since ancient times as burial ground, and if you go there, you can see it's all paved over with flat stones (for tombstones) that have Hebrew inscriptions.

Thus concludes your Jehoshaphat research geekery. I don't know if any of that will come into play later in the story, but maybe...since the Valley of Jehoshaphat sounds ominous with all that judging of nations by God going on. And the dead bodies underneath it.

4-Debbie, Charlie, and Josh. Don't you just want them to be a little happy family? I mean, sure Josh is a brainwashed future Temple Mount #3 High Priest, possibly also being groomed to be the Messiah because my research told me that was possible.  And sure, Debbie's a recovering addict insecure still about herself and her place in the world. And sure, Charlie's clearly been burnt by her in the past and has lingering trust issues. But it could happen! It could happen.

My favorite scene in THIS episode was the one between Debbie and Josh, right before Ted B. and Company turn up to pee all over it. Debbie tells Josh that God is responsible for all the stars in the sky, that God created it all both good and bad. And Josh tells her Ted B. told him that every star represents a soul, and the place all those souls reside is in something called the Well of Souls which is beneath an ancient temple in Jerusalem. And then, speak of the devil (Ted) who shows up? Right. On. Cue.

5-So let's talk about the Well of Souls. 'Cause I researched 'em. It. Whatever. Here's your quickie for the day:

In the show, the Well of Souls is either very near or beneath tunnel 7 (that's a mystical number, by the way). The controversy around the Well of Souls is that it may contain the Ark of the Covenant (aka the container the Ten Commandments were housed in). In the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones finds the Ark in a room called the Well of Souls, but it's in an Egyptian city called Tanis. The REAL Well of Souls is far more religiously/politically contentious. 

Because right now, the Well of Souls is under the control of the Waqf Muslim religious trust. Muslims regularly venture down into the Well of Souls to pray. And sometimes, as long as it's pretty calm and peaceful, they'll open it up to tourists. But mostly: just Muslims get to use it. 

It's known by different names (Pit of Souls, Cave of Spirits), and the belief is that this is where all dead people gather while they await Judgment Day. The Dome of the Rock built on top of the Well of Souls (not a mosque, it's more of a shrine) was built in medieval times. I'll talk more about it in my Temple Mount research geek blog later, but that's some quick and dirty background for you.

The fascinating thing (for me) about the Well of Souls is that, when you bang on the floor of it, there's an echo. So there's some type of chamber beneath, but nobody knows what it is for sure, and nobody has ever seen it or been in it (except maybe Enoch...and the Order of Moriah!). The Temple Mount is actually full of cisterns, tunnels, caves, and chambers--about 45 of them. 

6-The bartender at the restaurant Emma liked to haunt in Jerusalem. He got found with some creepy collage of her in his closet (I know that's where I keep all MY creepy collages). So Golan and Peter had an exciting chase to catch him, Golan got punched in the nose, and he was all mad about it. (I feel the SAME way when I stub my toe.) They arrested the bartender for beating up cops but also possibly murder. But when they showed the bartender the pictures of dead Emma, he didn't really react but he did sort of close his eyes for a beat. And then sat really looking at her picture while Peter played a sneaky trick to get Golan out of the room so he could go in and ask his #DigDeeper questions. 

But Peter didn't get his answers in the end, just a sly wink from the (possibly innocent) bad guy.

7-Then Lynne came in to break up the fight and accidentally got punched in the jaw by Peter. (This one time, in high school, my 11th grade AP English teacher Mrs. Spoonamoore ran to the hallway to break up a girl fight. She wasn't watching what she was doing, and her flattened palm accidentally slammed into one of the girl's throats...it stopped the fight, and the girl could be heard gagging all the way down the hallways as she was drug off to the office. Then, Mrs. Spoonamoore slooooowly turned on us, the audience, and said quite deliberately, "Oh. I have a black belt in Karate. Don't try anything with me." Mrs. Spoonamore was like 85 or something.)

8-At the end, just as Peter's packing his things for a Walk of Shame (or, Flight, rather) back to the States, who should show up in his hotel room but red-haired murdered girl Emma Wilson. AND SHE WAS ALIVE. Bruised, muddied, battered, traumatized...but ALIVE. (And Alison Sudol! What an amazingly good actress in addition to beautiful singer...she knew just how to portray that trauma the right way.)

Questions I was left with from this episode:

*WHY did that bartender guy wink? WHY??? And he was so smooth about it. He totally could've picked me up in a bar and I'd have gone with him.

*Who is Gregory? Whoooo is Gregory???

*I didn't even talk about Rabbi Lev's use of (a) a mobile phone on the Sabbath and (b) ordering Avram to break a Ten Commandment by killing another human being. 

*Where'd the cow go? Obviously with the Essene. Who I don't believe will sacrifice it. He may have plans for it, but I don't think it involves ritual death, and getting turned into paste.

*Why doesn't somebody just get a freaking shovel and start digging in the Well of Souls? I'm sure there's all kinds of politically charged reasons for why they don't or can't, but seriously. Somebody just pull a Peter, grab the key from under the potted plant on the ledge, and just...DIG. Damn it. (WHAT IS UNDER THE WELL OF SOULS???)

*What. The. Hell. Happened. TO EMMA????

And that's it for this time. I think the 6 (heh, get it? Episode #6, so here are 6) important things you should take away from this are:

1. This show's themes are death, grief, and judgment.

2. A cold mikveh by candlelight may be a good idea after every impure thought. (I'd have to do this at LEAST 2000 times a day.) Also: let sleeping Essenes lie.

3. Hide your creepy collages better. If you can't do that, run faster.

4. THIS is an awesome song:

...Until Ted Billingham shows up. Damn it, Ted!

5. Stay out of Jerusalem if you even suspect your Holy Ghost may not handle it well.

6. Valleys and Wells of dead people are probably not smart places stand around in.

mounted illuminati.

Hi, Internet! Are you interested in some more geekified Holy Land Research Reports? I would like to apologize for my last research post. What a frickin' mess, and I know it. I got waylaid on Thursday, way beyond the time I thought I'd be waylaid, and then only had about an hour to fix what I could before DIG (on USA!) aired Thursday (at 10PM/9Central). Episode #6 was called "The Well of Souls," and I was CERTAIN there'd be dead people in it so I wanted to get it published before airtime. (The focus wasn't really on dead people at all--except one dead person did get found alive!). In other words, I wasn't able to connect the dots in that entry as well as I wanted to, and more than that, the part that's driving my perfectionist OCD writer persona absolutely effing nuts? I couldn't hone it. And now it's out there, and I'm too busy to fix it.

Not my finest, but maybe this one will be better?

So on Thursday the Order of Moriah was introduced on DIGonUSA. At first I googled "Order of Mariah," and only got a bunch of stuff about Mariah Carey silencing Nick Cannon with a gag order--divorce is hard, girlfriend...divorce is hard. Then I figured out my misspelling and got the real stuff. Here's some background on the name/word Moriah:

The word Moriah means "Chosen by God," but it's also connected to the term "Divine Wind," and THAT'S connected to the Apocalypse and God's angelic war. Moriah is also the ancient name for where the Dome of the Rock now stands, the spot Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac until God told Abraham, "Ha! J/K, dude--here, sacrifice this ram instead." It's also the spot where the Prophet Mohammed supposedly ascended into Heaven on a horse. When I talk about the Temple Mount some more in my next geeky research-y post, I'll talk about ley lines and Axis Mundi, which have something to do (I bet) with what the nefarious group is planning on the show. But basically, Mt. Moriah (aka Temple Mount) is an Axis Mundi, a portal between Earth and Heaven, and more than that, it's our planet's finest, PREMIERE mystic portal. It's the one spot God likes to communicate to mere humans most, and it's why Mohammed was able to magically go up to Heaven from that spot and also why God chose THAT spot to send Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Because God knew He'd be able to stop him just in time by talking to Abraham--but through an angel. (God has voice mail--did you know?)

In addition to that, many different religions have a name for that angel who spoke to/stopped Abraham, and that name varies. Lots of ancient religious texts call the angel "Metatron," but a more familiar name might be Enoch, from the book of 3 Enoch, an apocryphal book of the Old Testament...also known by the titles: "The Book of Palaces," "The Book of Rabbi Ishmael the High Priest," and "The Revelation of Metatron." Rabbi Ishmael was a High Priest of the 2nd Temple, by the way. The Book of Enoch is chockablock full of angelic stories. Enoch was the 7th son of the patriarchs, the son of Jared and Noah's great-grandfather. The Babylonians revered him as a great astronomer and the inventor of astrology. He is said to have created a subterranean temple beneath Mt. Moriah (the Temple Mount) and he also (supposedly) created a gold triangle encrusted with precious stones and metals, on which he carved God's true name. Enoch's subterranean temple is located beneath the Well of Souls, and it contains information on the creation of the Earth as well as all the Arts and Sciences. Right before Enoch's death, he gathered all his sons about him and commanded them to always worship the one true God, and then ascended into Heaven to become an angel. While there, he receives all the mystical secrets behind how God created the Universe. There's also mention of a hostile angel named Azazel, which in all 3 major world religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) is the fallen angel (YOU know who I'm talking about, don't you?)

At any rate, Enoch is the master angel of the element Wind, and he's also the boss of all the other wind and windstorm angels (as a side note, I hate windstorms--it's connected to the Wizard of Oz, and if you remind me sometime I'll tell you all about it). In fact, there's a claim that, within some academic biblical circles, the Dead Sea Scrolls at Qumran were actually an amalgamation of two rival priestly schools: The Enochic and the Zadokite. The Enochic school studied astronomy/astrology (the sun, the moon, the stars...). There's something, in Masonic literature, about the Delta of Enoch--it has to do with the latitude of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, that you place a wand or some kind of marker in the shadow of the rising sun on the summer solstic (St. John's Day for Freemason's), and something will happen. It's also notable that the Essene community at Qumran would pray toward the rising sun in the Temple.

So. Now that you know all of THAT, also know that Enoch is connected to The Order of Moriah, because they're connected to The Illuminati, and The Illuminati is connected to the Freemasons, and in the Freemasons, Enoch is (supposedly, since it's a secret society) a critical figure in many of their texts and rituals.

The thing about Enoch (for Moriah/Freemason/Illuminati conspiracy theorists) is that conspiracy theorists claim the Freemasons and The Illuminati have taken Enoch and connected him in their rituals, and those rituals are to Lilith, the worship of Great Horned Owl (aka Molech, aka the Devil), as well as the ritual sacrifice of children. The Order of Moriah (aka the Illuminati) wants to use all of these rituals, the theorists claim, as part of how they're going to establish a New World Order.

I actually have a special connection to The Order of Moriah. My special connection to The Order of Moriah is that the men on the patriarchal side of my family were all members of the Freemasons. Currently, my brother, who is not a member of the Freemasons and has thus totally broken their diabolical hold over us, has all my father's Freemason stuff--rings, lapel pins, books, etc. He's not allowed to use any of it because if he runs into a Freemason and they ask him their mysterious questions and try to do their secret handshake on him and he has no idea? He will be in TROUBLE. (I think they take him to a deep cave in the woods and beat the crap out of him...or maybe just enslave him at one of their Masonic Lodges.)

At any rate, groups like Order of the Moriah, The Illuminati, the Freemasons, etc., are all about rituals I can tell you from personal knowledge. My father was not a regular at Freemason events or rituals, but he did often haunt Masonic Lodges in whichever area we were in (specifically, my father haunted their bar areas).

However, when he died, some strangers showed up at his funeral. They were Freemasons, and they needed to perform a secret ritual before we could lay him in the ground. So we all had to leave the room where my dad's body was, the Freemason guys closed and locked the doors, and they were in there with my dad for about 10-15 minutes.

When they came out, they just got in their cars and left. They were nice, but didn't really speak to any of us. I have no idea who they were, and they didn't know my dad, but they knew my dad was a Freemason. (Someone probably contacted them--I'm sure I could ask my people up in the Pocono Mountains and they'd tell me who they were--maybe.)

When I went back into the room, my dad had stuff laying on his chest: a soft white piece of lambskin, a sprig of some plant, some sort of passage, possibly a coin. My memory's fuzzy because of the tremendous pain from grief and mourning. I specifically remember the plant sprig and the lambskin. Freemasons. Secret. Shrouded in mystery. Connected to The Order of Moriah. (I hope revealing to everyone their special dead body ritual doesn't land me in a Masonic sacrificial rite or anything.)

Now let's talk about The Illuminati-slash-The Order of Moriah specifically. Here's the brief historically-accepted background:

The Illuminati started in Bavaria, in the 1700s by a man named Adam Weishaupt. He was appointed to the top of a University there, a position that had traditionally gone to Jesuit priests. This didn't go over well. Then, Adam got made a Dean and it REALLY didn't go over well. He was constantly fighting with the priests and hated their politics. So he started an order, a secret order, called The Order of Illuminati that was comprised of men who agreed with him politically. Later, the order grew and grew, a lot of their recruiting from the Freemasons, growing their ranks into thousands of members. And when you have like 1,000+ members, it's hard to keep a secret. In addition, other people started splinter groups of their own, and that got on the Bavarian government's nerves so bad, they made it illegal to form or be a member of ANY type of secret group, and if you were found out they'd execute you (as governments are wont to do). Eventually, Adam Weishaupt died in exhile and the Secret Order of The Illuminati disbanded and was never heard from again THE END.

But! There are other people (mostly not historians) who will tell you that story is A LIE! An Illuminati-planted LIE! These people will tell you Weishaupt was merely a lackey for The (true) Illuminati, which has been around since, like, Homo Sapiens took over. Some of them will also tell you that the origin of people connected to The Illuminati is from an lizard-like alien race coming to Earth to mate with its humans long ago. And that members of The Illuminati (and splinter groups connected to them like the Freemasons) are actually devil worshippers, witches, and wizards--practitioners of Black Magic. (I swear to you: my father NEVER worshipped Beelzebub; just Budweiser.)

They'll tell you The (true) Illuminati, basically, cause chaos and destruction all the time, and it's so they can start a New World Order, in which they will own everything--EVERYTHING: banks, the news media, governments, sports, entertainment, fashion, religion. (This sounds JUST like a battle between Satellite and Landline Internet/Cable/Phone Companies.)

These theorists claim are many groups, people, and other secret societies connected to the New World Order/Illuminati: Ordo Templi Orientis, Illuminati Order, Orden Illuminati, Skull & Bones (George W. Bush is a member) ,the Bilderberger Group, the Rockefellers, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Fabian Society, Booker T. Washington, the Mormons, the Catholics, the DuPonts, the Rothschild Group, the United Nations, the Democrats/Republicans (USA), Labour/UKIP/Conservatives (UK)...probably even the Girl and Boy Scouts, though they haven't gone THAT far (yet).  Theorists claim these groups are all just fronts for The Illuminati, that people who run or founded the groups are/were Illuminati.

In addition, theorists believe there are 13 bloodlines of the Illuminati. If you are descended from any of the following families: the Astors, Kennedys, DuPonts, Collins, Onassis, Reynolds, the Lis, Russells, Rockefellers, Van Duyn, Freeman, Rothschild, or the Bundys? Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents mated with alien lizards and were devil worshippers. Sorry. (And if you AREN'T related to those bloodlines, don't get too confident; there are other family bloodlines that interconnect to the Big Thirteen, the McDonalds, the Krupps, and the Disneys being three examples.) (Happiest Place on Earth? Maybe....or just a front for the New World Order.)

In addition, certain people really believe members of the government are Illuminati-connected. And, if the Freemasons ARE a branch of Illuminati, then I suppose they'd be right. George Washington, Ben Franklin? Freemasons. In fact, almost all of the USA's presidents have been connected to the Masons. And Freemason symbols adorn our US currency, and the dude tapped to design Washington, D.C. was a Freemason, so basically Washington D.C. is one big ol' Freemason symbol. (Which I guess makes America part of the conspiracy to own the world...not like we haven't gotten a good start on it by building a McDonald's and Starbucks in every country. Coca-Cola, too. And of course spreading our devil rock-n-roll music and tasteless obsession with fame and fortune.) (I could go on.)

Other people theorists claim are Illuminati:

All of Hollywood (if you work in Hollywood--did you know? You're Illuminati), John Wayne (?!), Michael Jordan, Al Gore (and thus, the entire Internet I suppose, since he created it), Warren Buffet, George Bushes I & II, Barack Obama (stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Tea Party), The 1% (you know, all the Rich Guys Who Run The World), Hitler. But also: Kanye West & Kim Kardashian, Jay-Z & Beyonce, Lebron James, Rihanna, Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber (it explains SO! MUCH!). I was most saddened to learn Lady Gaga is Illuminati. I mean, I can SEE it. I just...well, she did sing Poker Face, which I bet is about not letting anybody know what your real agenda is. And she wore that meat dress. Yeah, Lady Gaga's totally Order of Moriah. I can see her carving the DIG key symbol onto herself.

The information out there is actually very frightening--there are REAL people who REALLY believe this shit, that this is happening. You guys! There are people who believe King Solomon started it by bringing a hexagram into worship. They believe the founders of the USA were Satanic occultists--Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington (all Freemasons). They believe the world's major religions: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, along with the less populated religions, are all just fronts for Satan. They are very serious about this, and they believe there will be a big huge fight about it one day. Unlike Armageddonists, they think aliens will be involved, but still.

Which is why it's important to the story line in the show DIG. Of course there are top government officials involved--Ambassador Ruth Ridell is probably Illuminati, hell bent on New World Order. Ted Billingham, too. I don't know about Rabbi Lev yet; the Jewish group may just really really really want to build Temple 3 and bring forth the Messiah. (Apparently, there was a Jewish group that tried to get a loan from an Israeli Bank to build Temple 3) (they were turned down).

So. That's about it. How are you doing out there? I had tons more I could've and really wanted to share, but I didn't want to explode anybody's brain. For sure, mine almost did.  (Every time I go on these research scavenger hunts I think: Holy crap, these DIG on USA writers! This must have consumed them! So. Intense. and SO much information!)

And above and beyond all that, for THIS research project? I think the one thing I came away with, particularly in regards to some of the information I located on the Internet about The Illuminati and the Freemasons: Other human beings are so freaking, abso-bloody-fucking-lutely frightening, are they not?

Let's all of us nice, normal people band together and go find a nice, big, comfy cave to live in. (Maybe not beneath the Well of Souls.)

(EDIT UPDATE: Way up in the beginning when I first posted this, I accidentally typed that God told Moses to sacrifice Isaac. Oops, sorry Moses! God actually parted some water for him. And made up a bunch of rules for Moses to give to the Children of Israel. Moses was never, ever asked to sacrifice any kids. Apologies to Moses and God.)