storytelling+kindness=positivity at ridiculous levels.

This person's name is John Emmet Tracy.
He is one of my favorite human beings right now.
You should watch every single TV show
and movie he's in from now on.

So Internet, I want to write about something really, really kind I saw the other day. You know how I've been saying here for, well, at least since I started this blog 2 or 3 years ago, that kindness is incredibly important to me right now. This rock we all fly around on is full of dark and crazy. It has people who'll make you want to grab those most precious to you and find a nice, deserted island to live on (which could lead to interbreeding issues and turn your descendants' skin blue so it only works in theory because stupid biology...but I digress). 

I can't mention her by name (unless she reads this and officially gives me permission and promises not to sue me and if that happens I'll come back and edit), but I have made a friend on Twitter who's suffering all kinds of sad health problems. I've been very blessed not to have these, but I have other friends and family who've not been so fortunate. And so I can see, from watching their struggles, that when you are very very sick Life is...you know. Crap. And yet here is this lovely person who is finding ways to find joy where she can and not only that, she spreads it out to the rest of us. That's hard - if it were me, I think there's a fair amount of evidence on this blog that I'd be typing out pieces of melancholia and woe-is-me. Spreading good when you feel bad is hard, yet it's heady stuff. God love her.

I write here all the time about the power of Story. Stories are how we connect to each other - they're how we evaluate our past, our present, and our future; they're how we share our dreams; they're how we build on what others before us have built. Really, storytelling is what makes us different. I don't think any other creatures on this planet do it...maybe dolphins. And gorillas. But that's it! I'm pretty sure zebras aren't making each other cry with stories about those bad years all the lions from Nigeria killed and ate all the lions from Zimbabwe that worshipped trees because Nigerian lions believed in worshipping clouds and so all tree worshipping lions must die. And I know hippos aren't making each other laugh insanely at the crazy antics of those wild and crazy crocodiles. (Correction: animals actually do tell these stories, but they all work at Disney.)

And so when we are sick, I think it's just human nature to turn to stories and storytellers. The virus or the genetic problem or the cancer or the heart disease are destroying your physical matter, but they can't reach your soul. And therein lies the power of Story - a cancer can eat you a live, but your Story makes you You...Story keeps you thinking and dreaming and just generally going, even when Science tells you that you ought to stop. 

But we have our stories and our storytellers, in books and movies and campfire tales and emails and dinner parties and television. And for many, many people, be they perfectly fine and healthy or very very sick or struggling, if you can find a story or stories to connect to, in whichever medium that works best for you, it keeps you going, it shows you why any of this even matters. And this sweet lady has found her story connections on TV shows. And one of the TV shows was a show called Olympus, which aired on the SyFy Channel and was a fabulous show and I can say that because, when I was able to stop focusing on my owned effed up life problems for two seconds, I watched several episodes of it and said out loud at least three times, "Wow! What a good show!" 

To have a story, you need a storyteller. Or a team of storytellers, in the case of TV and movie stories. And sometimes, you find storytellers who are willing, because they are really kind and get why what they do matters, to go beyond just telling their story or stories and decide to reach out to the people who are connecting to the stories they tell, who are finding comfort and joy in them. 

This is what I saw happen the other day - someone who is struggling with crappy crap was reached out to by other human beings who just happen to tell stories for a living. They didn't have to reach out. Telling stories for a living is a hard road to walk in a world that values material things and financial power, that doesn't recognize the value in human connection via Story unless there's bank to be made off it. And yet they all got together in spite of whatever was going on in their lives, their worlds - meeting up in offices or coffee shops or on street corners or wherever - just to sign a show poster for a sick woman. And then send it to her. 

Oh my god! Internet! Do you have any idea how amazing that was?! Do you even understand how shit like this makes me want to hug every single person I meet on the street, even the scary bad ones, and go: I know you have it in you! I know at heart you are good! I know you can do good! Because sometimes other people show you that it's possible.

If you ask the person who took charge of this how they managed this, he will tell you: Eh, not a big deal...I just met them at coffee shops and we just, you know, signed it. And I know he will say that, because a friend told him what a rock star he was for doing this and that was his response. 

But it wasn't about the poster, and it wasn't about the autographs. It was about the THING. The supremely endearing, kind thing a group of human beings did for another. And it completely made her day, her week, her month, her year. Because of a story. And so: heart. melted. 

Why these people don't all have Emmys and/or Oscars is a travesty. A travesty, Reader(s)! 

At any rate. I'm promoting them. They are all very very talented storytellers even when not spreading love and goodness throughout the planet, and so I think you should watch them in action, friend them on Facebook and/or Twitter, and when they are nominated for Emmys and/or Oscars write copious amounts of letters to the judges in charge of deciding who wins those demanding that they be given special consideration. Here they are:

Graham Shiels
Sonita Henry
Sonya Cassidy 
Tom York
Natasha Burnett
Levi Meaden
Sophia Lauchlin Hirt


there were other storytellers from the show who've been incredibly sweet to her on social media, but weren't able to meet and sign the poster. They also need Emmys and Oscars, and millions of Facebook/Twitter fans (and a blue Twitter check! Twitter! WHY do some of these amazeball people not have the special person blue check yet?!), and letters demanding recognition by The Academy:

Cas Anvar
Wayne Burns
Alan C. Peterson


and last, but NOT least, John Emmet Tracy, who was the ring leader in getting the poster, meeting up with the storytellers who were available to meet him at offices and coffee shops and on street corners or whatever, and sign the poster AND then mail it to my sweet friend. What a lovely, kind, sweet human being he is. Why is he not starring in every single movie and television show right now, Hollywood? Why?

Because what ought to happen is all the kind, good people in the world like these storytellers should be in charge of the planet. I'm fairly certain if that happened the troublesome areas of the Middle East would be fixed, war and hunger and poverty would end, and joyful Utopia would ensue. I mean, one group of storytellers have made a difference in just one person's life. When was the last time a government did that? (Never. A government has never done that, that's when.)

social media thoughts, part 2: connections

Yesterday, we talked about the bad parts of social media: the narcissistic quality to it, Humanity's inability to Just Say No, small children getting adults put on Watch Lists and stuff. I will also confess to you social media is one of the (myriad of) reasons my marriage went into a death spiral. Nothing I said or did on social media; just the fact I'm on it. And C is not. And C does not approve of social media or me being on social media. And I no longer wish to do things or not do things solely based on gaining someone else's approval, no matter how much I love them. This has been a point of contention, for a long time. 

So social media is a tricky rope to tightwalk, yes.

But it does have its good points. For example, Connections. When I think of the good aspects of the power of social media, the one that immediately jumps into my mind is connections. Here is how connections on social media work: When Jason Isaacs retweeted a link to this blog's DIG page, I met some nice, new people and got a few nice, new readers because he did that. When I started attempting to live tweet DIG, I met a very good new friend who eventually helped get me a writing job on threeifbyspace.net. When I go to a discussion forum on the Internet about anything, I try to be very nice and kind and honest and just be myself and whenever I do this, I usually come away with some sweet new contacts, which occasionally evolve into real friendships. 

On this blog, I write a lot about my life--good and bad things I'm going through, life experiences...and I have always done this when writing blogs, as well as on any social media I'm on. I open myself up and make myself vulnerable to other people not because I'm desperate for attention and validation (okay, fine. I actually am) but because I know how important it is to know: you are not alone. Other people go through this. Other people feel like this. We are all in this together, sweet readers. Life is tricky. 

I can't tell you how many times since I've started blogging I've heard from people--family, friends, complete strangers--who let me know they, too, went through what I wrote about or said. Or: thank you for writing that, because I agree. Or: thank you for saying that, because me too. 

Do you know that's why we're all here, why we're navigating through the Milky Way on this gravity-filled rock? We're here to meet each other half way, to connect, to support, to lift up, to cry on shoulders, to be cried on. I cannot stress enough how important it is to feel connected. To feel heard, to feel understood, to feel loved. And, for some people, social media is how they meet those needs. For some people, it fills a void they can't fill offline. 

Somebody out there will read that and go: well, Amy, that's pathetic. Those people are pathetic and need to get a life. And if you are one of those people? With all due respect, fuck you. How dare you judge someone else's approach to life so harshly? How dare you have an opinion about someone else's methods of connection. 

That's the positive aspect to social media. (That, and maybe being told by a stranger on the internet to eff off for being so judgmental; that's nice, too.)

It's also excellent for getting the news out. I don't know about you, but I can't read or listen to the News news anymore. My head says: Oh, you must. You need to know what's happening out there, Amy! But then my heart whispers, oh please. Please, don't. I find Twitter is excellent for knowing what matters most to the world--trending hash tags and all that without too many gory details or misleading company-bought news articles. And Facebook. I have a lot of very right wing friends/family, so I always get to see what matters to the right wingers thanks to what shows up in my Facebook news feed. It depresses me, and sometimes I end up saying something to a family member that blacklists me from future family reunion invites, but I always know what crap FOX "News" is feeding them now. 

And if you're a creative of any kind, social media has become essential to connecting with your audience. Which, one hopes, will sell more of whatever you've created. Doesn't always work out, but that's true even offline. Who knows why some things just resonate with lots and lots of people and other things don't? Social media is one very powerful aspect of maybe hitting the soft spot that will resonate with many, many people. Which, if you're a creative, is hopefully why you're creating--to connect to others (as opposed to becoming rich and famous or just rich or just famous) (because if you're creating art for fame or money, stop now--you're doing it wrong). 

Speaking of creatives and positive connections and spreading the word, guess who I'm going to connect you with right now, via social media aka this blog? Cas Anvar. Do you know of him? I heart him. He's swarthily good-looking and excessively talented, but more than that he's super duper NICE. What ultimately made me love Cas, though, is when I found an article he wrote for a blog called THE IRANIAN, about a mistaken identity thing he went through regarding a role he played in a movie called SHATTERED GLASS. Not only did it clue me in on what a great writer he is (gets you in good with me every! time!), he handled a really sticky situation with such humbleness, aplomb, honesty, and graciousness. I've written here before about how I have a list of criteria I consult before placing someone on any heroes/favorites list; this article he wrote got him on my list, like, immediately. Plus, he's another actor who talks storytelling in ways that make me happy. 

So! If you want to interact with a swarthily good-looking, talented, supremely nice actor, you should go visit Cas on Twitter. He's been in a lot of things you've probably seen: ARGO, LOST, 24, MEDIUM, NCIS, the movie SHATTERED GLASS (about journalist Stephen Glass' plagiarism), DIANA (he played Dodi Fayed to Naomi Watts' Diana, and was most excellent in this--I was surprised to find out Cas isn't British, he was THAT good in this), and currently he's starring as Xerxes on SyFy's OLYMPUS (a most excellent show--I just caught up on most of the previously aired episodes. Like Greek mythology? Like intrigue and double crossing? Like watching ancient Greeks have steamy sex? This show is for you!), and in December I'll get to review his work in THE EXPANSE as Alex Kamal (THE EXPANSE is based on a series of books by James S.A. Corey--I've started reading LEVIATHAN AWAKES and I assure you, it's super awesome and well-written...and this is coming from a girl who usually reads books from the high brow Literature sections of libraries). 

So I connected to Cas via Twitter, and let him know: I think you're rad. And Cas (super sweet, super friendly Cas) let me know: Thanks! That means a lot to me! 

And herein lies the power of social media: I connected to DIG via Jason Isaacs' tweets about it, I connected to a new very dear friend via DIG's tweets, I connected to threeifbyspace.net via a new very dear friend, I connected to THE EXPANSE via threeifbyspace.net, I connected to Cas Anvar via THE EXPANSE, now guess what? YOU'RE connected to Cas Anvar via Amy! Go learn about him and be amazed. Find him on social media and tell him he rocks, and let's all have a storytelling love fest. Okay? 

But do it all on social media. So I can keep this blog on topic and we can inject some positivity into an Internet sphere which can be terribly fraught with the opposite of peace, love, and happiness (if you do social media of any kind, I sense you know exactly what I'm talking about). 

DIG (on USA!) thoughts: ep 10 (ten, rhymes with end...sorta)

Imagine me and you, I do;
I think about you day and night, it's only right...
So happy together!

Oh, Internet. It's 11 PM on Saturday night as I start typing this, and I don't know how to really express the depth of sadness I feel about what I am doing. What am I doing, you ask? I am writing The last DIG (on USA!) review. My last thoughts and reactions. There are no more episodes to watch now. Thursday evening, May 14, will be cold and lifeless. No Jason Isaacs tweets. Ori Pfeffer will not retweet me or give me too much information I expressly said not to. Nothing to scream at my TV about. No WTF is going ON?! moments. 

It has concluded. The mystery solved, the last twitching body laid to rest. 

It's okay. I'll be okay! Don't cry for me, Argentina! Or Israel. Or Croatia or Norway! I will be okay. (Because USA Network, until they say Yay or Nay definitively, will be receiving occasional, overly familiar, harassing tweets from me about green lighting a 2nd Season for DIG...and they can just go ahead and ask Jason Isaacs all about what it's like to get my occasional, overly familiar, harassing tweets. He knows all about these, because he gets them from me about every 3rd-4th time he tweets.)

Alright, diggers/digglers/diggees, let's just rip the band aid off. Let's talk about the last episode. 

Here's the mystery, solved (and if you haven't watched it yet, or even seen the series at all: (A) Why are you here? We are NOT friends...and (B) look away!! Look away now!!! I'm about to tell you THE WHOLE THING.):

In real life, Emma/Rebecca is a beautiful songwriter/singer/actress
named Alison, whose songs my daughter & I both love

*Emma was The Villain. The primary Antagonist. It was her, or rather, Rebbeca Donaldson aka Emma Wilson. THE WHOLE TIME. Someone mysteriously put the lost Donaldson murder/suicide investigation file Golan was trying to get from the grizzly old detective in the Negev Desert on Peter's desk and THAT'S how he figured out who Rebecca was (and thank you! whoever put that file there, because I spent about 3 hours last Thursday wondering: WHO THE HELL IS REBECCA???)

And she fell in love with Peter in the process of orchestrating the biggest antiquities/revenge heist of all time. She was in cahoots with greedy Margrove but not really--she just wanted to use him to avenge her father's death which Margrove caused by betraying his colleague, who just so happened to be Emma/Rebecca's dad. She lost her whole family because of Margrove's greed. And so, like a spider, she wove a web and trapped him, mated with him, and then ate him. And Margrove, who I was certain was a goner after, like, episode 3, ended up being the last of the dead guys, making it (almost) to the end. 

*The Order of Moriah? That was Ruth Riddell and Tad Billingham, and they got theirs. (Tad choked to death on some nuts...as he WENT nuts at the same time. No, seriously--he was eating nuts while talking nutty. Dearest, amazing DIG writers: I. LOVED. THIS. SO. MUCH.)

*Josh was a twin, and Fay was their mother. That means Fay killed one of her own children back in episode 1. 'Cause that's what crazy people do, y'all! Kill their kids. Google it--it's in the news all the time. 

*Josh turned out to be the very psycho Tad B. (who I THINK maybe was his dad?!?) was. (Parenting rule #1: model the behavior you want to see in your children.) And Josh turned on Tad, because Josh was taught that he's God's right hand boy/high priest, and so you know: he thinks he really is. Turns out, raising kids to believe they are God's gift to the world gives them an Entitlement Complex. (This is also called Extreme Spoiling, and I actually watched it happen, live, at my local supermarket about 2 weeks ago.)

So basically, evil Rabbi Lev and the Order of Moriah wanted to blow up Dome of the Rock. Rabbi Lev so he could rebuild the Temple and welcome the Messiah; Tad so he could start the Rapture and bring four horsemen down to scourge the Earth and bring the Messiah (and then Tad and Lev would get into a big fist fight about whether that was the First or Second Messiah). 

To do that, they brought in thousands of pounds of explosives disguised as books written by Tad Billingham. Then they rigged them all up to a dam that, when exploded, would flood the underground tunnels beneath Jerusalem and when the water made its way to the Temple Mount, BAM! Good-bye, Dome of the Rock; hello a lot of angry religious guys starting World War 3.

*Ruth's goin' to federal prison! Where she'll teach women to scare the shit out of people just by looking pointedly at them. (I think she should have gotten blown up in the damn dam, or had her throat slit by Lynn with the sharp letter opener, but that's just me. Because Armageddon Protocol.)

But now for the happy endings:

Blood. Red blood. Blood moons. Sacrificial blood.
Blood. 

*Lynn's still in Israel! She's running the FBI's Jerusalem bureau. Hopefully the rest of her time there doesn't involve any more blood. I think Anne Heche spent about half the show covered in blood, someone else's or her own. And no more climbing chain link fences, Lynn! You'll break your 5th metatarsal. And only sleep with employees who aren't being used as pawns in a chess game of revenge! But I do bow to your toughness, Lynn. You are a strong woman, and the next time I fight crime, I want YOU to be my partner.

*Peter made it! And he SAVED THE WORLD! And he's letting go of his past--he finally took off his wedding ring, and (I didn't see this but I BET) he deleted his ex-wife's phone number finally and he's going to see a plastic surgeon about that scar. He took Vicky's picture out of the drawer, and Lynn's going to send him far, far away (can it be to Atlanta, Georgia, Lynn? We have lots and lots of religious crazies for Peter to fight here, too). 

*Shem made it out alive! He's still out there somewhere, loving on Nature and saying prayers at strange moments while wearing white. He's counseling lost, fucked up people with gentle words of ancient wisdom. He's eating vegetables for dinner and dancing naked under the moon, and he's taking long, candlelit mikvehs. (I love the thought of a Shem out there in the world doing this, being a guardian of the Light for our spot in the Milky Way.)

*And Avram. Dear, sweet Avram. Thank God he made it off the DIG writers' pages alive; he's out there still. And so is Red (I'm going to talk about them in a few more paragraphs, because if I do it now, this will make me cry like I did when I rewatched it this afternoon and I need to get through the rest of what I want to say in my write up).

Basically, what I'm saying is: this show was, in the end, about water and a cow. 

....Did you know? Water has a very mystical meaning: it's used in purification rituals, to cleanse us. We are 50-65% water; without it we will die. And our planet will as well. Every bit of water we have on Earth today has been here since our planet was born; the water you bathe and shower in? Here since the dinosaurs. The water you wash your car with? Here before life began. All life began on Earth in water. Take care of it; it is precious. (Don't use it for nefarious purposes, either.)

I think it's really interesting that the DIG writers used water as a catalyst to either destroy or save in the end. (The dam's water was all diverted into an old archaeological bit of Jerusalem history: Warren's Shaft. Archaeologists who've studied it think it was first developed by the Canaanites; it is an ancient tunnel most likely used by ancient Jerusalemites as a water supply system. And it saved (in DIG) the world by diverting the exploded dam water away from the Temple Mount. Good job, ancient Canaanites!) In the beginning, I wrote about how I thought numbers mattered, that God was in the numbers. At the end, it turns out God was actually in the water.

And also I felt DIG was about darkness and light. Sons of Darkness, Sons of Light. An eternal, internal War of Soul. Maybe that's what Armageddon/Gog and Magog/the End of Days will boil down to: we'll all be fighting ourselves, inwardly...and only one of us will win. Let's all hope our Sons of Light come out on top. (Peter's did...he was tempted, at the end, by the Whore of Babylon, to come away with her and enjoy her spoils. Except Rebecca/Emma didn't realize she was dealing with a Son of Light. And so, in that way, Peter really was a Messiah. Of sorts.)

But mostly? DIG was about a cow. Not the cow herself so much, but Avram's devotion to her well-being--because DIG was about honor and loyalty and faith and loss and most important? Taking care of one another--Red saved Avram and Avram saved Red. Take care of each other, good people of Earth. Treat each other with kindness and care. Our animal friends, too.

And I think DIG was a good example of how to tell a good Hero's Journey story. Do you know about this? Joseph Campbell, an American mythologist, developed the concept--every story in every culture in every language in every corner of the planet even the farthest removed tells mythologies, and they all center around a Hero who must embark upon a Journey. One day, he wakes up and realizes: I have to go on a journey. Sometimes the journey is to rescue a maiden, or slay a dragon, or defeat a giant; it varies depending on the story and the culture. And so the Hero sets out--he leaves everything he knows behind and takes a journey. Along the way, he meets friends who are enemies, enemies who are friends, he has to overcome obstacles, pass tests, he fights battles and is wounded...until finally he reaches a Dark Night of the Soul, in which he must make the decision to either give up and die, or go on. But choosing to go on means the Hero must change, and change will involve doing the hardest thing(s) he can ever possibly imagine doing. But if the Hero does it, in the end he wins and goes back to his village to accolades and adoration. But if the Hero does it, he is changed forever, and Life as he knows it will never be the same again. (Not necessarily a bad thing.)

I think Campbell's The Hero's Journey could be applied to Lynn, Peter, and Avram. They all were woken up one day, realized they had to go on a journey to fight something terrible, and met enemies who were friends and friends who were enemies and suffered through Dark Nights of the Soul along the way. 

Particularly Avram: in the end, he is forever changed; I'm not sure if he lost his faith or just his faith in the people of his faith. But he has left the Orthodox community for the world because of Rabbi Lev's evil, and he will be forever changed now. 

Red is free. Home on the range. The last moments we see of her are a sweet, happy calf surrounded by her "people," running off to enjoy the world...no sacrificial knives or weird kids in breastplates anywhere. And the real Red is also free, along with all the other baby cows who worked the show with her. They are all free, running around in the world right now, and will never ever be a source of food for anyone reading this. They are safe, safe at last.

Since Golan got killed (sob!!) Shem and Peter could save
the world in DIG 2. (Shem will use prayer to catch bad guys, and
Peter will make sarcastic asides.)

Three Stars and a Wish

A wish:

That the final episode had been longer. I realize Jason, Ori, Anne, Alison, etc. would have had to stay in Croatia like 1-2 more weeks eating pizza while missing their loved ones and USA would've had to cough up more cash, but I felt like there needed to be about 30 more minutes, maybe 40; this show felt slightly rushed to wrap it up. A big show to start the story; one big one to finish it. And I wish the Armageddon Protocol stuff had been a bit bigger in scope and nature. More water, more explosions. I mean, Tad and friends were trying to start The End.

3 Stars:

1. Clearly, I am in love with the writers (still! we are STILL on our perpetual honeymoon, DIG writers! Til death do us part). So I thought the writing was superb and stunning, stunningly superb. Throughout. There were a lot of moments I watched and re-watched and went: holy crap, those are amazing storytellers. How does one learn to do that? I would like to just sit and pretend to darn their socks while they work on their stories. So I can learn from them.

2. The final episode had some amazingly awesome writing in it, and words that sat with me most from this episode were from Peter:

"Maybe it should all end. Let everybody wipe each other out in the name of God." (JUST last Friday, I thought the SAME thing, Peter Connelly!)

and what an awesome exit line: when Emma/Rebecca tells Peter she'll see him in Hell, he says, "Not if I see you first." (Oh my god. I am SO using this in the next argument I'm in that person tells me to go to Hell.)

3.There were some loose ends. But this is actually a positive for me, and here's why: I have read things on the Internet from people complaining about these loose ends. There are questions about why certain things happened or didn't happen, or what was the point of that character. Just some things I've seen around town: what was Ridell's motivation? What was Billingham's? How'd the file get put on Peter's desk/who put it there? How'd the Essene know where to go? How'd the bombs get there? How'd Emma/Rebecca even know about Peter? How'd she find out so much about his daughter? 

These questions are why I think the finale needed to be longer...and yet, I'm okay with not having ALL the loose questions answered. You out there reading this may not be, and the questions have been really chapping your buns (my suggestion: stop reading imdb.com's message boards; lunacy lies within). But I am okay with loose ends. And I'm okay with the unanswered questions because I think that's just how Life works--sometimes there's an ending and you can't figure out why somebody did that thing, or didn't do that other thing they were supposed to do. Sometimes you don't get to say good-bye; sometimes there isn't any closure; sometimes you just aren't supposed to know.

I'm also okay with lingering questions about some of the characters because I know about building characters--when I write stories, every single character I put in it has a background and a motivation; I know what these are. Every detail, every motivation doesn't always make it into the story; but I don't build them into my characters for that reason. I build them into my characters to give a story movement and life. Sometimes it's to make a character more real, or to make another character more real. I am totally fine if that's what the DIG writers were doing with this. 

But this freaks some people out--I once took a writing class with a lady who got really annoyed with me because I wouldn't write a complete ending to any of my stories. And I hated reading her stories because they were always ended on such pretty, wrapped up, here-you-go presentations. C'est la vie; to each his own. 

All in all, I hearted DIG tremendously. Its creators, Gideon Raff and Tim Kring, wrote it on spec and I'm not sure necessarily wrote it with the intention it would go on and on. From what I understand, they simply wanted to tell a whole story, for us to watch on our TVs (or iPads or wherever you watch your TV shows now). But the writing was so tremendous, and the acting was so stellar, and it is just human nature to want stellar, tremendous things we are enjoying to continue. Orgasms SHOULD last days and weeks, it is not fair they only last a few seconds. So I think there should be a Season 2, so we can all meet back online and orgasm together, with a new adventure. But if there is NOT a Season 2, then I am happy this story is out there in the ethos now. When my child is old enough, I will share it with her. And she can share it with her child(ren) and so on and so forth, as is the connective nature of storytelling.

It was a wild, roller coaster ride every Thursday night, thank you, DIG writers and cast and crew! But man. I will confess: I have an extremely addictive personality, and so I'm going to have to go to DIG rehab now. But first, you know what I'm going to do this Thursday night? Start over with Episode 1. I have them all in my DVR, and I'm going to start over with Episode 1 this Thursday, and recreate the whole thing!

Also, I'm going to harass Jason Isaacs on Twitter to see if he'll wake up at 3 AM on Thursday (aka Friday for him) in London for the next 10 weeks to re-live tweet them again, for me, personally. 

What is Peter looking at???

(scroll down to solve the mystery)

It's Debbie! Come to avenge Golan!!

And it's Golan! It's his ghost! (Shem brought them both back via prayer)

(Yes, yes. I KNOW THEY'RE DEAD FOREVER.
But I'm a magical thinker. Stop judging me.)

books and movies and tv, oh my!

Today is World Book Day (did you know?) (you DO still read BOOKS, don't you?...I mean, e-readers are cool and all, but I bet they're very similar to going from smoking real cigarettes to smoking e-cigarettes--gives you the same kind of high, but something's just OFF) (Maybe cigarettes was a poor choice of example...next time I'll use gluten).

At any rate. World Book Day. So I have a list (with some side thoughts) of my Top Ten All-Time Favorite Books I Absolutely Cannot Make It Through This Life Without and You Should Read These Too If You Haven't Already and If You Haven't Already Read Them What The Holy Hell Is WRONG With You?! World Book Day list. Here it is:

1. THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ by L. Frank Baum. 
Seriously, if you haven't read this book and you've only watched the movie? You aren't really getting it. This is like a book-movie companion kind of thing. Symbiotic. Binary. You are NOT a real Wizard of Oz fan if you haven't also read (and made notes in the margins) Baum's book. The ORIGINAL book; not any kind of abridged crap (stop being lazy). The WIZARD OF OZ is a Life guide; it will teach you about what's important, what's not, and what to do when you're really in a quandry. (Which is: sing a song, and believe in yourself.)

2. THE MIRACULOUS JOURNEY OF EDWARD TULANE by Kate DiCamillo.
Kate also writes the Mercy Watson series, which are really wonderful. But this book. THIS book!!  O.M.G. Seriously, your whole life will be changed. Your heart will never be the same. You will never, ever know at what True Love is until you read this book. And when you're done, go read Margery Williams' THE VELVETEEN RABBIT, because (like the WIZARD OF OZ book-movie companionship), these two books should be the two books on which you base your entire philosophy on Love and Life.

3. PETER PAN by J.M. Barrie
Peter Pan isn't just about a boy who won't grow up. It's about the power of imagination and possibility. It's about courage and fear, and being Who You Are. It's about acceptance and love, letting go, and how to handle fairies and pirates. (Which I think are symbols of good angels and evil angels, but that's just me pontificating.) When I was growing up, I wanted to BE Wendy...and I wanted to marry Peter Pan. And I wanted to be a pirate and a Tiger Lily and a Tinker Bell, too. This is a ageless tale threaded with fibers of magic and, just like WIZARD OF OZ, if you're just watching the movie versions and/or movie interpretations of it, you seriously aren't getting the core meaning of it and you're doing it wrong. 


4. EAT PRAY LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert
Elizabeth Gilbert is my writer hero. She is my female aspiration, both in writing and spirituality. Liz has gone to the rockiest depths, clawed her way out, and eaten some excellent pizza in Sicily while doing so. Whatever Liz says about life, love, and spirituality I pretty much agree with. And she usually favorites everything I @gilbertliz tag her with on Twitter. She's my hero, and her memoir of her own personal Hero's Journey is something I've written in over and over, dog-eared, slept with, eaten with, cried over, and whispered a million thank yous into. It's a Bible of sorts, and I think the Holy Spirit gets me on that even if you don't.

5. STORIES OF ANTON CHEKHOV by Anton Chekhov (and some editors)
Oh, Anton Chekhov. Anton, Anton, Anton! What a yummy writerly dish you were, back in the turn of the century. And with every single short story, he'll show (NOT tell) you how to write right. If you are a short story writer, and you have not ever read a short story by Chekhov? You're doing it wrong. Get thee to a bookstore (NOT an e-reader store--a real, physical BOOK store) and pick you up a copy of Anton's short stories. Go home, get comfy, and start to learn, grasshopper. 

Master. Storyteller.

6. EAST OF EDEN by John Steinbeck
Steinbeck was a master storyteller and a master (a MASTER) of the descriptive paragraph. When you start this book, your brain is woven a tapestry of what California looked like, in Steinbeck's--and his characters'--eyes. And then you're given an ancient tale of Cain and Abel, good and evil, right and wrong, and the temptations and horrific choices we all have to make. It's a subtle Bible for how to live, and who not to be. With tapestries of How To Write Descriptive Narrative woven throughout.

7. THE BLUEST EYE by Toni Morrison
This is the book that made me understand what it's like to not be in the Majority. It's about quietly fighting a system that is set up to invalidate and demoralize and keep you from soaring to your highest heights. Love yourself, as is...even when They tell you that you as is is simply never going to be enough. On the surface, it's about what Jim Crow and slavery and The Good Ol' Boys network has done to our country, our black women, our society, and our world. But underneath all of that, is something that--no matter your gender, nationality, or race--we can all connect with: the need to belong. It's just amazing. Please read it if you haven't.

8. WUTHERING HEIGHTS by Emily Bronte
I read this book over and over and over and over when I was in high school. I wanted to be Cathy...but I wanted to be Cathy before she went nutters. And I desperately, seriously, deeply longed for Heathcliff. I still do, quite frankly. Also, there are ghosts. And ghosts, in my book? Are always good. 

9. ROOM WITH A VIEW by E.M. Forrester
This is about keeping a chick down; clipping her wings and--like THE BLUEST EYE--fighting a system set up to invalidate/demoralize/keep you back from living your dreams. It's also about not succumbing to someone else's opinions, being really real, and that British class system? Gots to GO. (Sadly, I don't think it has and here in America we're making it worse.) But I love it because it's about being loved for Who You Are, as is. I cannot stress how important that is. 

10. BIRD BY BIRD by Anne Lamott
Annie is funny and sincere, irreverent and serious, all at once. She knows your pain because she's been there, sister (or brother). She's been down and out, up and over, and she's got the scars to prove it. And she will tell you about them, how she got them, AND give you a lot of good tips on how to Do Writing Right. One little step at a time. Baby steps. Tip toes. Bird by bird. It works for writing, but it's also just a smart way to live a life, the end.

And, just because I like them, I'm going to extend World Book Day further by listing movies based on books I personally love a lot and think are excellent filmatic takes on the written word, even if famous film critics disagree with me. Here it is:

1. WIZARD OF OZ
This is L. Frank Baum's book...with some artistic license...in technicolor (and black & white for Kansas, which I think was a really brilliant creative decision for MGM in 1939--ahead of their time). I used to LIVE for the airings of this movie, and I wanted to BE Judy Garland/Dorothy. I can't even calculate how many hours I spent, in my room, as a child re-enacting this ENTIRE movie. 

One time, my mom didn't feel like braiding my hair so I could put on my Oz play in my room, and she suggested I pretend to be Glinda the Good Witch instead. Drama actress ego meltdown ensued. I was Dorothy! Only I knew how to interpret the role of Dorothy! and HOW DARE SHE.

2. PETER PAN (2003)
The Disney version is cool and all, but PJ Hogan's 2003 adaptation is just magically superb. And I promise I'm not saying that because Jason Isaacs plays Captain Hook and Mr. Darling AND responded to a dry erase easel board note my class wrote together and sent him on Twitter. You should see this movie because, like MGM's 1939 WIZARD OF OZ adaptation, this IS J. M. Barrie's book...with some artistic license...in CGI magic technicolor. 

I used to spend hours re-creating the story of PETER PAN in my bedroom too, as a child, but I wasn't as attached to the role of Wendy like I was to Dorothy.

3. LIVING OUT LOUD
Simply, this is my all-time favorite movie made for grown-ups. This is an independent film made in 1999 by Richard Lagravenese. It's based on two short stories by Anton Chekhov, and it's about being true to yourself, finding out who you are, being accepted and loved as is, and forgiving yourself. Like Elizabeth Gilbert's EAT PRAY LOVE, whenever I'm in a what-the-hell?? kind of moment, I re-watch this movie. Every woman in the WORLD should be exposed to it. 

4. A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT
There are fish (I'm a Pisces), there is water (I'm a Pisces), and there is Brad Pitt AND Craig Sheffer in it (I'm a heterosexual woman). This is about family, ultimately. And addiction. And struggling. And knowing that you can really, really love someone a lot but not like them very much. It's about how people who need the most help are often the ones who least want it; and so then it's about growing through and in spite of that pain. A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT is about letting go, and it's about trusting in something a lot bigger than your limited self. It's about the ancient art of growing up, breathing in spite of the pain, and acceptance of the unknowable. It's about how the "river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters."

5. APOCALYPSE NOW
In 12th grade AP English, we had to read Joseph Conrad's THE HEART OF DARKNESS. What a freaky book. What a freaky movie based on that freaky book. On the surface, it's about some dudes traveling up river through war torn Vietnam and all the freaky crap they saw and endured while doing that. But underneath, like Conrad's book, it's about Us vs. Them kind of thinking, which leads to all kinds of stupid shit...like, oh I don't know, The Vietnam War. And people killing each other for dumb reasons. As humans are wont to do.

It's a disturbing movie, but then THE HEART OF DARKNESS is a disturbing book. Sometimes disturbing is bad, sometimes it's good. This is one of those times it's good.

6. THE COLOR PURPLE
Whoop Goldberg--I fell in love with her. She played a pure, gentle soul who went on an inner odyssey of figuring out who she was in and in the process discovering her own amazing strength. Sort of like Dorothy in WIZARD OF OZ, but black and living in Jim Crow times. This book/movie is also about family, growing up, and being loved as is. 

Best line of a movie EVER: "Everything you done to me, already been done to you.I'm poor, black, I may even be ugly, but dear God, I'm HERE..."

7. THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS
I'm not going to lie: Daniel Day-Lewis, in this movie, is someone who spends a lot of time in my night time fantasies (sometimes day time ones as well). Family, trust, respect, Man vs. Man, Man vs. Nature, staying true to your roots. It's all in there, set to gorgeous scenery and a sweeping soundtrack that makes your soul soar and spirit weep. 

8. DR. ZHIVAGO
I had to find a book that complemented FATHERS AND SONS by Ivan Turgenev for my senior year thesis, and this was it. So happy I picked it, because this was about a tough, kick ass woman. Oh, she LOOKED sweet and weak and naive on the surface, but ultimately men were broken by her and because of her. 

This movie is about love and grief and loss and it's all wrapped up in one amazing journey with a lot of snow in a country that is full of pain and horror and stark, unadulterated beauty. (I really wish Putin would stop mucking it up.)

9. THE GODFATHER
This is, literally, the ONLY mafia movie I can and will watch. I think Marlon Brando and a young Al Pacino might have something to do with it; I'll be honest. I read Mario Puzo's book, and then I saw the movie. Like WIZARD OF OZ and Hogan's PETER PAN, this is Mario's book but in visual format. 

I would like its theme song to play whenever I exit a room.

10. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD
Gregory Peck. Social justice. Gregory Peck. Truth vs. Lies. Gregory Peck. A bildungsroman through a young girl's wide eyes. The way Law OUGHT to be. Gregory Peck. And also: Gregory Peck. 

I hope Harper Lee's new book will do just as well as this one did in both written and cinematic format. I mean, hello...she's had 50+ years to hone it. 


And last (but not least) I do have one favorite book that's been made into an excellent television show series: OUTLANDER by Diana Gabaldon.

It's got time travel, Scots in kilts, Scots speaking in Scottish brogue, and a lot (I mean a LOT) of sex. With some historical background. Or maybe a lot (I mean a LOT) of historical background. With some sex. 

Either way, Sam Heughan. And so watch it. It's On Demand. 

DIG thoughts: ep 7 (outlandish feminine energy)

source: SpoilerTV
also: i think there should be a show spin off called DON'T EFF
WITH DEBBIE. (if she doesn't die, of course.)

I am sorry DIG creators and writers and actors! I fell asleep putting my little girl to sleep on Thursday, and I missed the first 20 minutes! (horrified gasp) 

Internet, do NOT miss 20 minutes of this show or you will be completely lost. When I tuned in, not only was my brain discombobulated and confused from sleep, I was completely lost. I just sat and read tweets about it on Thursday, because I had no idea who was where what or why. And God forbid I say something stupidly flippant on Twitter to anyone. (Me? Stupidly flippant? Nooooo!) (that was sarcasm for those of you lacking that gene.)

But I've had a chance to re-watch, knowing what I now know. Now that I know what I know now, now here's what I now know is not (say that 10 times real fast):

*Emma is NOT Peter's daughter.
*Peter is NOT hallucinating stuff into reality.
*Peter's wife is NOT a ghost (but DOES know about his extramarital activities--PETER!!! Discretion, my friend.)
*Peter does NOT know Hebrew
*Peter is NOT weird about gay people

I'm telling you that because, at some point in my previous thought postings, I've made those outlandish claims or wondered those outlandishly misguided things aloud.

Never fear! I have some outlandish claims to replace them with as a result of watching #7:

*The Essene is a GOOD guy! I am 98% sure of it. The other 2% is to cover my ass in case I'm wrong so, at the end, I can go: Oh, I had suspicions all along.

[edit/update: I forgot to note that the entire REASON I think The Essene is a good guy (now) is because he saves Peter from the bad guy goons driving the cars trying to plow him down. Thank you to the person on Facebook who pointed that out to me. My brain loves the help.]

*I don't trust Emma. I am sad about this. Because I DO trust Alison Sudol. Why don't I get to also trust the character she plays? Alas, I do not. I feel she's either not telling Peter everything, or she's being suspiciously canny in some way. A good actress, if you will. (Played by a really good actress! Reality is Art is Reality.)

*But you know what? Ironically, I DO trust Lynn. Who didn't show up for her 9 PM meeting with Peter and may have possibly sent some goons in cars to run him over, but still! I trust Lynn. I know Emma told Peter someone at the agency is spilling the beans on him...which I think someone obviously is, but it's not Lynn. But I bet Peter's going to start thinking it maybe is.

So I just do trust Lynn. I'm 98% sure she's a good guy. Plus, she keeps getting beat up, and I'm sure when she took the Israel bureau assignment, that was NOT something she signed up for.

*Josh, the future High Priest. Man! THAT stinkin' little twerp. Don't trust him. He totally threw Debbie under the bus and was wholly responsible for Charlie's death. Because I think he knew, when he told Debbie he had to use the bathroom, what was going to happen. He's creepy, that kid. (My suspicion: most genetically engineered children raised to be Armageddon High Priests of Temple Mount #3 are.)

*Margrove: he's a flunky, a stooge, a greedy little pawn for the nefarious Rabbi Lev & friends. He he wants the archeological glories and treasures. I wonder if he knows they're actually trying to start a Holy War? 

Off-topic side note: my favorite scene from THIS episode was when Margrove and the Rabbi are about to put the breastplate on the pillars. Rabbi Lev tells Margrove it's just down to them now, the Rabbi and the...teeger? I couldn't make out what he called Margrove, but Margrove responded with "I've been called worse." And that was good comic timing, Richard E. Grant, and it made me smile right out loud. (Did you know? Richard [Margrove] is a wonderfully gifted comic actor. I deeply heart his POSH NOSH series; they make me LAUGH.) 

[edit/update: someone on Facebook told me Rabbi Lev calls Margrove a "digger" but his accent makes it come out "dee-gher." Collaboration! I heart it.] 

*I was surprised the breastplate was used as sort of an effigy. I really thought Josh was going to get all dressed up in priestly robes at some point and say a bunch of ancient stuff and God was going to come bursting out of the sky and all hell (and heaven) would break loose. This was more like...the breastplate was a key (did you note? the key symbol was in the ground, and part of the process). And when the fire started, it lit up the stones which showed some sort of message on the cave ceiling.

*I want to know more about Golan's boyfriend Udi. I'm not going to make an outlandish claim at this point and say he's suspect; I just think, when it comes to DIG, it should raise immediate suspicion when anyone has maps to any underground Jerusalem areas in their houses, water geologists or not. Particularly if they're sleeping with police detectives who are helping FBI detectives who nefarious Armageddon-conjuring groups want to do away with.

Other important things about DIG 7, Trust No One:

1. John Donaldson. This (I think) is Gregory Donaldson's dad. Someone on Twitter wondered if it was Gregory himself, but after watching, no--I think it's Gregory's dad, and this is why Gregory had the key to the safe deposit box with the VHS tape, which everyone on Twitter was slightly agog about Thursday night, VHS jokes all around. (The other thing I love about DIG is their sense of nostalgia--Debbie makes a call on a pay phone...with COINS. Are pay phones that take coins still around? If they are, seems like the Sonoran Desert would be a classic place to have them.)

(Off-topic nostalgic personal side story: when I was 11, my dad decided he no longer wanted his very large and expensive 1979 Kawasaki motorcycle because he never rode it. So he traded it. For one of them new fandangled pieces of magic technology wizardry, called a VCR. Years later, I look back on this and think: well, early model VCRS were pretty revolutionary and space age-y in 1985. Even though you can buy one now at a local flea market for like a dollar and that 1979 Kawasaki motorcycle, a classic at this point, is probably worth half a million dollars. C'est la vie...at least my dad felt really felt cutting edge for a bit.)

2. At any rate, John Donaldson is connected to Margrove. They were professors together with another professor named Isaac Zohar. Donaldson's big issue was that he'd found THE most important archeological thing, ever. And he went crazy toward the end of the tape, ranting about Order of Moriah and how they're everywhere--politicians, business, etc and so forth (BECAUSE THEY ARE). (No mention of half-human/half-lizard aliens, though. Sad. I'm certain you could've stuck that bit in somewhere, DIG writers.) 

My suspicion: Donaldson found the Ark of the Covenant. The Ark will explain all to Mankind. Or melt your face and eyeballs off. (I'll research that and get back to you.) (No, seriously.)

3. Here's why I don't trust Emma now--the whole dead body thing has me woefully confused. Sooo...they took pictures of her posed as dead and gave it to the police? And the police were all, Oh, ok cool! about it? And there was never an actual crime scene investigation with a real body to go with the pictures? I mean, I know police can be very corrupt and all, but there ARE standards and procedures. And then she had some crazy story about Margrove harassing her when she tried to break up with him, so being hired to trick Peter was her ticket out of Israel and that entanglement?

Emma. Please, girlfriend. Lord knows, I've had those entanglements too and they ARE tricky to get out of...that's why you (a) change your phone number, (b) get a restraining order, and (c) find a muscle-y boyfriend to be your bodyguard. You don't HAVE to take a job playing someone's dead daughter for unknown, suspect reasons. Soooo....I don't know. Emma hasn't earned back all my trust just yet. Maybe just 25%. MAYBE. Oh, she looks sweet and everything, but listen to me: still waters can run deep. (Emma's my tribe--remember?)

4. Let's talk about Peter's dead daughter. I asked Jason Isaacs, on Twitter, if he could tell us if Peter's daughter committed suicide because she'd been sexually violated in some way? (Which, can I just say--this show has made me ask some of the most bizarre questions ever to complete strangers. Jason Isaacs and I do not know each other at all and there I am, asking him questions about rape and crap. I ask you: where else, besides social media, would that happen?? Social media: destroying English and making us ask each other really weird questions.)

Anyway. Jason either didn't see my tweet and/or he ignored it. You see! This is why I don't ask Jason questions on Twitter; I just tweet him overly familiar, flippant comments. So frustrating to this girl television show researcher. (But Jason DID make my 2nd graders deliriously happy recently because he answered a friendly letter we wrote him--we posted a picture of it on Twitter, and not only did he answer both their questions and make their WHOLE day, he also earned himself 25 very impressed young fans by his thorough promptness. AND impressed/endeared himself to their teacher forever and ever for doing that for them--some of those kids still ask if we can write to Captain Hook/Mr. Darling again. I know they'll remember, forever, that when they were in 2nd grade, Captain Hook/Mr. Darling actually took time to take them serious and respond to them. Which is why I'm just going to let this one go.)

At any rate, the reason I asked him that weird question is, at the very end...did you catch it? Rabbi Lev breathes (kind of in awe): Dinah. Or Dena. Or maybe Dina. Pick your spelling, but pronounce it: DEEN-ah.

Brief background info on Dinah--she was the daughter of Leah and Jacob, sister of Joseph (he of the amazing technicolor dreamcoat). Jacob was the patriarch of the patriarchs of the 12 tribes of Israel--Jacob WAS Israel. He was the son of Isaac and Rebecca, and the grandson of Abraham and a descendant of Noah. Later, Jacob's name was changed to Israel. Remember that, because that seems important to this story: Noah begat Abraham begat Isaac begat Jacob/Israel.

Speaking of daughters of Israel: Did you catch the series of events that played out on Peter behind his back? Lynn calls Peter's wife, who lets Lynn know she knows Lynn is sleeping with her husband and then hangs up on Lynn; then in marches Ambassador Ruth Ridell, all huffy that Lynn didn't do what she told her to with Peter. Then there's Emma, who has a thing for Peter (I think) or is using her feminine wiles on him. And there's Peter's dead daughter. And Debbie out in New Mexico. Tough, awesome Debbie out in the Sonoran Desert. What I most like about the women of DIG is that they are tough. They may not look like it at first, but they are. Even the bad ones. Tough girls. Braveheart women. We need more of those, planet Earth. (Maybe not the ones planning Armageddon.)

Dinah, if you don't know, was supposedly raped by Shechem, a Canaanite prince, and in vengeance, Dinah's brothers Simeon and Levi, killed him. That's why I asked Jason if maybe Vicky had been raped/violated in some way and thus took her own life. (Another possibility was that it was an act of repentance and/or human sacrifice--a la Khalid and Emma's bartender friend.)

Because there's a reason the bad guys want Peter gone. He's been to Seminary school, and he knows semiotics (study of symbols). And something really weird is going on with his past--it's being kept a mystery why, exactly, Vicky committed suicide. There is something about Peter that is dangerous to their plans. The biggest DIG question right now, I think, is WHY ARE THEY SO EAGER FOR PETER TO BE GONE? (or maybe: What does Peter know...that he doesn't know that he knows yet?)

At any rate, I think you should know about Dinah. Maybe, oh...I don't know, because Episode #8 is called "Sisters of Dinah?" And so I'm going to go research that and tell you more about her. When I do, I'm probably also going to tell you about the city of Shechem, and the division of the ancient Kingdom of Israel, the one which King Solomon ruled over, that was divided into the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah. Because Dinah is connected to Shechem, and Shechem is actually a pretty important area and figures into the story of Israel quite deeply. So I think that division may become important to the story. Because I think the Essene (whose name is actually Shem--Shem, in Genesis, eldest son of Noah, from whom Abraham--and Jesus, incidentally--was descended, from whom we are given the Semitic (aka Hebrew) language spoken by the people who are Shem's descendants, aka the Jewish people...by the way) may be part of that somehow. In addition, Jehoshaphat was part of the division of the Kingdom of Israel, and that may be a clue (from episode 6). And all connected to Dinah, daughter of (Jacob) Israel.

THEN I'll tell you about the Temple Mount. And the Ark of the Covenant. I should probably also start researching the 12 Tribes of Israel, since they're written on the stones. 

You guys! This research is taking forever. If I could JUST quit my day job and research this and write about it every day, I totally would. But then in 3 weeks I'd be out of a job, and I have a mortgage and credit card bills. And should probably put my kid through college at some point. I'm already worried about what in the heck I'm going to find to occupy my time and mind with when DIG ends. Will USA Network provide therapy groups for people in withdrawal?

In conclusion: Mysteries are hard to unravel. Sometimes it's hard to know who to trust and who not to trust. Talk therapy does help. Tough girls are always awesome. I wish there weren't so many bills to pay.

Oh, AND! Here's my favorite POSH NOSH episode (it has nothing to do with DIG, but I have a feeling Professor Margrove's not much longer for this world since Rabbi Lev may no longer have a use for him, so here--watch him be an amazing, annoying git in these fun, faux cooking shows. But hurry--I really feel he's about to die!):

social media art publicity.

Art by Ian Bailey
Source:  The 7 Ways.

First, I have to mention DIG (on USA!). They've revealed more of the story and some of it got "Noooo!" out of me as I watched on Thursday. And also: "I KNEW that guy was going to end up dead! He knew too much." And: "Holy cow, that is SO effed up!" 

Second, never ever get into a cult. And I'm researching the Essenes. And somebody told me to also think about the Masons, for later. My grandfather and my dad were both Masons, in fact all the men on that side of my family for generations I think, so now I feel totally connected to the show. And also I wish my dad were still here, so I could ask him about the Masons...even though they're very secretive and he probably wouldn't tell me anything (we had a volume of Masonic encyclopedia-type books on our bookshelves when I grew up, and I would spend countless hours poring over many of these, trying to figure out (1) what the big deal was and (2) all their secrets) (the Masons are SO secretive, you can't even decode their secrets from their secret writings...I am certain they have underground lairs at both the North and South Poles, and they are completely responsible for this completely effed up weather we've been having in Georgia lately).

Third, I want to talk about artists having to do their own PR work. 

Jase (we're on nickname basis now--he can call me "Luv") and Anne, Alison, and Ori (we're all on first name basis now, but moving quickly to nickname basis...once I discover what their nicknames are) have to live tweet their show EVERY Thursday. For the next eight Thursdays. God bless them. The first time was exciting, the second time, too...but every Thursday?? Til MAY?? Lands. Well, I can't harass Jason and friends THAT much, so...I'm clearly going to have to pick my Thursdays. Or maybe just do an overall wrap up harassment tweet on Fridays. 

Maybe just Jason has been commanded to do this--he's actually very good at Twitter, and I'm sure Those In Charge are in love with that. So the other day, Jason asked, on Twitter, if his followers/DIG fans would like him to live tweet episode number two. I, being a total enabler and that one friend you can always count on to do all the stupid things with you, of course told him YES, YOU SILLY GOOSE. 

And then the next morning I woke up and saw that he was going to do it. And then I felt so guilty because I was one of the enablers. But also not guilty because he called us all bastards and I am NOT a bastard, simply kinda/sorta a floozy. Then later I saw where he told someone he has to do this, every Thursday, for the next 8 weeks. And then I didn't feel so bad or guilty, because obviously someone ELSE is the enabler and I can be happy in my slight harlotry, and feel fine with it.

...Quite frankly, I don't think this is about enabling at all; I think this is all about marketing. And if I could get Jason Isaacs and the DIG cast into a room, but particularly Jason because I sense on a certain level he--like I--doesn't necessarily agree with what social media is doing to us as a species and yet also sees, on another level, its alluringly intrinsic value in creating connections both locally and globally--if I could get Jason into a room alone, I would NOT ask him to take his shirt off as I notice about 28,000 of his female followers would ask him to do were they in a room alone with him--no. He and I would have a thoughtful conversation about how making Art has always been a tricky, hard thing to do, and now with the way world economics have gone and social media marketing, society is just totally fucking its artists all to hell in ways Mozart, Picasso, and Virginia Woolf never could have anticipated. (And THEN I would ask him to take his shirt off.) (KID! I kid Jason. I am far too composed offline to do something of that nature.) (Unless I've had 4 chocolate martinis and I think you like me.) (and if THAT was the case, I'd take my shirt off with you.)

Because one day, if/when I am published for real, I too will need to get on Twitter and market me and the Art I'm peddling. And I hate that. Most writers I've talked to or have read talking about this in interviews--we all hate this part. I think it's because...well, for example: I work with a lady who once got told she was going to be our school's reading specialist the next year and she was all kinds of in despair about it: "Amy, I'm a general practitioner," she told me, "I am NOT a specialist." 

But I am. I am a specialist. Which may be why I'm sorta kinda miserable in classroom teaching--I don't enjoy generalities.  If I could JUST teach writing, that'd be good for me. Or if I could JUST teach reading. Or if I could JUST teach math...ha! No, just messing with you. You don't want me teaching  your kid math--at least not beyond the basics. 

And so this making artists be their own PR people: it feels fucked up to me. Does it to you? I mean, people can do it. And, right now, both a traditionally pubbed and a self-pubbed writer are on Twitter mass tweeting their XXXXX number of followers for the 100th time this week to read their book. Later, they'll tweet their followers with an interesting piece of writing advice so it doesn't look like they're tweeting about their book, or a really smarmy thought or quote so it doesn't look like they just want you to read their book, or they'll respond to one of their fans so it doesn't look like they just want you to read their book. (I'm being very jaded and cynical there--I actually would thoroughly enjoy the interacting with fans bit because my inner narcissist would be in orgasmic spasms of joy.) 

Aren't there schools in which people are specifically taught the Public Relations arts? Once upon a time, if/when you were published, the publisher gave you a specialist to market your Art. You were the specialist in your Art--you'd written your Art, so you knew all about it. You could give the interviews and do the book talks. That was your job. Your marketer's job was to go find you the interviews and the book talk locations. Now, they want you to go do that, too. And I think that's lazy. And the reason I think that's lazy is because I AM lazy. So I know it when I see it--never try to bullshit a bullshitter.

And yet. Because of the phenomenon of social media, in which we are all quickly connected to our most favorite of everythings--songs, singers, tv shows, movies, actors, politicians (do people have favorites of those? i don't. and also i'm questioning if i should have even included them on a list of artists...but then again, politicking is an art form to a certain extent--the art of creating something out of manure and getting people to vote for it), novels, writers, painters, poets--the artists involved in whatever art they produce kind of HAVE to touch base with their audiences now. There's no excuse to not do it, given all the social media platforms that are being widely used now. And they definitely are under pressure to pull in more audience. Because for artists, it's about the story. But for people holding the money bags, it's all about ROI. Oh, they like the art produced. But mostly, they like the ROI.

Therein lies the conflict of our age. Humans have revealed themselves for what they are: desperate to be loved and heard. 

Furthermore and also, I find this is happening not just in Artistic circles, but everywhere else, too: how many jobs do you do at work? I do about 15 but only get paid for one. And I have to spread myself out over a variety of jobs I've never officially been trained how to do. When I talk to friends who work in corporations, they echo that this is happening to them, too.

It's that top 1% tier's fault. And the growing class chasm's fault. And social media. And smart phones and video games and e-readers and Dick Cheney. And Vladmir Putin. Who else can I point my angry, puritanical, Scarlet Letter, red finger at? 

We are a weird species. Have a happy Saturday.