retro writing (on twitter).

I'm twittering (twattering, tweetering, whatever) more. I started an account there in 2009(ish) when it first went viral, because I always wanted to be THE "AtlantaAmy" somewhere, and this was my big opportunity! And even though there were only 10 other users on Twitter at that point (not really, but seriously, it was practically desert over there still), I discovered somebody already had THE "AtlantaAmy." What? So I had to go with "Atlanta_Amy." Honestly, just how many Amys in Atlanta are there? If I were more competitive I'd have offered to arm wrestle over it. I would like to be THE AtlantaAmy.

So the thing sat for 2 years, and then I tweeted because 2 years later, EVERYbody was suddenly doing it.  (I like to be part of the group.) I half-heartedly tried to get into it, because you know: Social Media, so why not. But I just didn't get it. I didn't get twitter. I still don't understand it, quite frankly--I mean, I get the actual tweet your brain spew part, I'm all about spewing brains out over the internet. But I don't get the purpose of retweets (and now you can either just retweet or quote--this is just DOUBLING my confusion, Twitter), and the whole @reply thing simply feels completely unnatural to me. Is the @reply thing supposed be like a big "HEY YOU!" shout? Or what is that? Why? Can't I just stick a quiet, "hi, how are you?" message on their twitter page?

Which is why I'm more facebook-y. I get Facebook--you type up a status, and then people comment under it with their reactions/thoughts, or they just give you a big thumbs up like Ebert & Roper only one thumb. That's just like this blog: I type an entry, and then nobody comments but on Facebook they do. (I promise, 5 people read this blog and they always either hit LIKE on Facebook or leave me a nice comment on Facebook.) (Hi, Mom!)

But I love reading what other people have to say and twitter is pretty fast at getting the news out. And also I have this deep people pleasing desire to be part of the group, so I'm twittering (or whatever) more. ...I suppose I should learn how to say it right (I'm pretty sure it's tweet...tweeting...tweeted...tweetered...tweetish), but the word "tweeting" feels so dumb to say. Or type. Though, to be fair, I go around talking about "friending" and "unfriending" people, so...damn it, Social Media! You're mucking up English!

The biggest complaint I have about Twitter is its 140 character limit. This complaint is multi-layered:

1-I'd like to firmly disagree with having the @reply thing and/or the retweeted or shared website link characters count toward the 140 twitter tweet limit. We ONLY get 140 characters of space. If I'm sharing someone else's tweet/link or whatever, then that leaves me with even LESS character space to type my thoughts. And if I have to go back in with 10 other tweets to type my thoughts about the link I just retweeted/shared, this seems to defeat the purpose of the 140 character tweet limit.

Occupy Twitter, is where I'm starting to be at on this...I'm about to start a formal sit-in protest downtown,demanding the @reply thing and web link characters not count in the 140 character limit. Or increase the space. Power to the tweet!

2-This lack of 140 character space is really effing with my inner humorless English teacher. When I tweeted to Jason Isaacs the other day, I had to type the letter "u" instead of the word "you" to make my whole message fit. And it wasn't even the WHOLE message I wanted to put. He got, like, the watered down version which made it only half as entertainingly odd as it could have been. You have no idea how painful it was for me, no idea. I had to take a lot of deep breaths when I typed that "u." And I have to use the ampersand (&) sign a lot.

3-Plus, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I'm a tad wordy when I write. It's always been a problem. Which is why I'm probably so worked up about this 140 character limit thing. 10 billion other twitter users seem just fine with it. Me? I'm painting outraged picket signs for the march, shaking my fists at the scabs trying to cross the line.

Bright side? I've discovered twitter's "keep it brief" policy has forced me to be conservative with my word choice. But goddamn it, there are so! many! awesome! words to use. Don't they understand?? (sigh)

Anyway. Here's a 4 part micro-story I posted to Twitter today. You get the wordier version, because the Twitter Character Police aren't around right now:


She took all the journeys she'd never take and placed them at the bottom of a deep, dark drawer as far back as she possibly could.

On Friday, she locked the drawer and buried its key in the garden. First under the rose bushes, then next to the oak, but nothing felt quite right.

By Monday morning, she'd resigned to wearing the key on a silver chain, feeling its coldness dangle between her breasts now and then, hoping to find her courage again some day.

She knew that, if she dared, she could unlock the drawer some day, tug out its dreams,and dance with them under the moon somewhere wild and ancient.


Did not even have to use one single ampersand here. They're all over that 4 part story on my twitter page. That's why blogging is way better.

In other news, I am obsessed (obsessed) with 70's/80s songs. I wish I could tell you why, but even I struggle to understand the inner workings of my soul. I've downloaded hundreds of these songs to my phone, and I'm on the hunt for some flared jeans, a polyester disco outfit, and some leg warmers. May I kindly suggest the following songs to help create your own retro 70s/80s Summer Experience?

*Anything by Donna Summer, but specifically Hot Stuff and I Feel Love
*Anything by Bob Marley, but specifically Stir It Up, Concrete Jungle, and 3 Little Birds
*Anything by The Eagles, but specifically Hotel California, Take It Easy, and Take It To The Limit
*Anything by Lynyrd Skynyrd but specifically Freebird, Sweet Home Alabama, and Simple Man
*Anything by Boz Scaggs but specifically Lowdown and Lido Shuffle
*Anything by Marvin Gaye but specifically Mercy Mercy Me, How Sweet It Is, Let's Get It On, I Want You, Me & Mrs Jones, and Got To Give It Up....on second thought, just go download all the Marvin Gaye songs.
*Get Back by The Beatles
*Summer Breeze by Seals & Crofts
*My Sharona by The Knack
*Alcohol and Lola by The Kinks

Then, of course, there's The Bee Gees & ABBA. Anything by them is good by the pool or beach or at a barbecue. And don't forget Barry Manilow! (Because I was supposed to marry him when I was 7.) (I would not marry him now; he's had one too many plastic surgeries.)

For the rest of today, I'll be sorting my 70s/80s music into categories. It's so I don't have to fold laundry. Happy Summer, y'all.

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