8 pieces of information or: how to survive a pisces

I'm kind of tired of writing about things that give me angst, and I suspect you may be tired of reading about them. So, in the words of Forest Gump: "I'm kinda tired now. Think I'll go home." And so that's what I'm doing today. Going home to the tried and true, the whole point behind the phenomena that is social media and blogging: shamelessly talking about one's self.

Here are 8 Random Things I think you should know about me:

1-My favorite professor in college was my Psych 101 professor. His name was Leonard Schmaltz, but he insisted we all call him Captain Lenny. He would not tell us why. But he was droll and smart and peppered his lectures with superbly amusing stories. I always wondered if class was just one big therapy session for him. And if they hadn't suddenly made Calculus a pre-requisite to declaring a Psych major, guess what I'd be doing today? (That's right: teaching Psych 101 at some college somewhere, and making my students call me Admiral Amy but not telling them why.) (FYI: Captain Lenny is no longer with us, and I'm so sad about it. RIP, good sir of psychology.)

2-I have to really work at not being passive aggressive. I think it's an inherited gene. At any rate, I always know when someone's being passive aggressive with me, and I have two instant reactions when I realize it: (a) my dormant passive aggressive nature is triggered and it comes out full force, like a shark feeding frenzy in a pool of blood because (b) I think: Are you for real?! Don't even try it--only one of us is walking away from this in one piece and, oh, it won't be YOU. The other way I'd put that is: don't try to bullshit a bullshitter.

3-For most of my life, I've been 5'10". Last year, I went to the doctor for a routine checkup and I was 5'9". This summer, I went to figure out a weird cough I had and my height was 5'8". If this keeps up, I'm worried I won't be allowed to ride the big people rides at amusement parks in a few years.

4-I become easily addicted to routines, people, places, items of clothing, foods, drinks...it's part of being a Pisces with a moon in Cancer. I'm actually being serious--every astrological thing about Pisces says this about us, and it is true for me: Poor, wayward, passive aggressive, addict Pisces. We're like the 12 Step Program of the Zodiac. 

Right now (for example) I'm addicted to the podcast Serial on NPR because I'm addicted to Twitter where I'm addicted to checking what Jason Isaacs is saying and he's tweeted about his Serial addiction enough that I decided to check it out to see what was so awesome and then 16 hours later my eyes are bloodshot and I'm jittery from all the caffeine intake I used to stay awake to catch up on the thing. Seriously, the other night I listened to about 4 hours' worth of it, trying to catch up and I STILL can't decide if Adnan is guilty or not. Just when I think he is, then I think wait, no! he's not! It's the single worst thing a Pisces/Cancer person could be exposed to, because not only is it addictive, it feeds into our wishy-washy inability to make a single decision, ever. Thanks, NPR. Thanks, Twitter. Thanks, Jason Isaacs. 

5-I'm an INFP on the Myers-Brigg thing. Every single time. Which means I'm completely helpless around INTJs but really into ESTPs. (I just made that last part up...but evil villains in movies are all supposedly INTJs, and so I'm pretty sure I'd be helpless around them.) (I don't think there is such a thing as an ESTP...I just made that up, like I do most everything I'm unsure of.)

6a-I was raised Presbyterian by a Methodist and a half-Catholic/half-Presbyterian. (Methodists are Baptists who can read, Presbyterians are God's Frozen Chosen, and Catholics...well, you've heard the rumors.) I think this explains why I think religion is good in theory/always poorly executed. Many of his followers freak me out, but I dig Jesus. And Buddha is so chill. I also think you can combine religions, so I usually tell people I'm a Buddhistian if they ask. My house is filled with crucifixes and Buddhas. Although I like Hindu, too; I could decorate an entire room like an ashram if left to my own devices. And I'm so sad I don't get to celebrate Hanukkah or Passover. But if I had to choose, I'd be Zoroastrian. (Because don't you think it kinda has the name "Zorro" in it and how cool is that? "Hi, my name is Amy and I pray to Zorro, blessed be his name.") On the flip side, Jehovah's Witnesses make me really nervous. And those Mormons who live out in the Utah desert, self-segregated from regular society and being forced to marry their parents as soon as they turn 12? Yeesh. No thank you.

6b-But I have a really firm, BIG belief in "Something" out there. I call it "God" for convenience and to not get strange stares or angry threats of hell-fire damnation from others down here in the Bible Belt. I've always felt connected to It, and I trust It. ..........okay, no I don't. I don't trust It. I don't trust It at all. I think it likes to play games of How Far Can I Take Her Before She Breaks? too much. But I've always felt connected to It. And I'm glad It puts up with me. Because sometimes Its sunsets are pretty awesome.

7-When I finish something I start, it's always a THING. A Thing, as in: we should have a celebration. I trained for a 10K and finished it: that was a Thing. I started and finished a master's degree: that was a Thing. But I start novels all the time and don't finish. When I finish one, I'm going to have a debut party with or without a publisher. When I finish a TV pilot script, we're going to have a series premiere party, with or without a network. Those'll be THINGS.

......Right now, I've started learning about wine. I'll probably casually stop my wine self-education oh, maybe around New Year's. Because then I'll start a DIY basket weaving project or something. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. Do other people have this problem? 

8-Words are my JAM. And I love learning about other cultures and their languages. I pick up bits and pieces of different languages here and there, just so I can throw them out at people at random moments of the unexpected. I do this with both cultural references and language. For instance, I know a smattering of Welsh based on what my dad learned from his Welsh great-grandmother...I can't wait to go to Wales one day, casually approach a stranger, and blow their mind with my Welsh introduction (Halo, bore da, Amy ydw i. -- Hello, good day, my name is Amy.) (Other than Merry Christmas and mungee, Welsh for "grandma," this is the extent of my Welsh.) 

Oh, and! I can't wait to go to Liverpool because I once hung out with two dudes from Liverpool, who taught me a whole bunch of Scouse (Liverpool lingo). The only words I remember now are "biftas" (cigarettes) and "swerve" (which if I'm remembering right means run away). At any rate, I don't smoke, but if I'm ever in Liverpool, I'd casually string a bunch of scouse together and ask someone for a bifta. But I'll do it in a real thick South Georgia accent: "Y'all got any biftas here or should I swerve 'roun' to the other place, like?" 

You know what language is epic, though? German. Germans will take a whole idea and condense it into a single word. Grenzbegrifflich, that which is very real but beyond description. Freundschaftsbezeigungen, demonstrations of friendship. Schadenfreude, pleasure derived from other's misfortunes. Bildungsroman, a story about a spiritual awakening or a coming of age. Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz, the law for the delegation of monitoring beef labeling.

What's coolest about German is the fact it's constantly evolving; they are constantly coming up with new compound words like this. I think the closest we've ever come to something like this in English is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, which I'm sure the Germans could make even longer if they needed to. I mean, theoretically, Germans could write an entire novel in just one compound word. Which makes that an epic language.

But I'd really like to learn French or Italian, because they have a lot of close cognates to Spanish which I already (mostly, and loosely) know. The problem is that I need to be able to start something I can finish, and if I start to learn something new, well....you know now how that'll go.

And in conclusion to this entire piece, Yiddish amuses me to no end. My favorite Yiddish word is tuckus, the word for butt, simply because you get to make the clearing your throat sound. I once knew the word for buttcrack in Yiddish, too. Clearly it wasn't as awesome as tuckus which is why I've forgotten it.

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