sometimes you have to write in the margins.

I like lists (theoretically). Here's one I made in a desperate effort to pretend my summer break isn't ending:

1-Social Media. This summer has been a social media uptick for me. Of the 4 social media I frequently use now (this blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram), I've deduced Twitter is the place where you mostly just talk to yourself (sort of like I do here). And I've decided to stop caring whether anyone answers me or not (sort of like I do here). I still say Instagram feels friendlier--I think the personalization of the pictures has something to do with that. And Facebook feels friendlier. But I try to keep my personal Facebook page limited to people I personally know or have a real connection to (translation: they all love me, I them, and it's just one big social media lovefest there most days of the week). I've had some strangers like some Instagram pictures of mine which is fine, but I (a) don't know how they found them, (b) don't know why they liked them, and (c) their Instagram accounts make me nervous (sketches of zombies and death things). Ah, the price of fame--you get some straaaange fans.

Also, I've decided to give the middle finger to all those social media marketing strategist overly opinionated people who say people like me are just wasting our time on places like this blog and Twitter since we don't have 10 million followers because we're not marketing ourselves hard enough (for some reason I feel like marketing myself hard enough may involve writing about myself in 3rd person, and I'm just not quite there yet). Plus, I've watched what some of my favorite famous and semi-famous people on Twitter have to deal with, and god bless them. Every single one of them. I can only imagine how much time they must spend blocking weirdos when they log onto their social media accounts. Life seems simpler and less stressful when you have less than 10,000 social media followers.

On the positive side, my writer hero Elizabeth Gilbert saw one of my tweets about her and favorited it. I was in my car when it came through on my phone and I screamed a little scream. A little wordsmith-y geek of a scream. And then continued to geek out about it for another 3 hours. Elizabeth Gilbert saw me! She saw my name! She liked what I wrote about her! Holy of holies! I bet she'd go out for coffee with me if she had time. She's my superstar hero forever and ever, amen.

2-THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm almost done with it. Oh, I love this book. I love this book immensely. What an amazing story she's told--on the surface you go, Hm. This is about...plants? But no! Well, yes. Yes, it is about plants. But plants are fascinating! Did you know this? Nature: it hides secrets that connect us.

So I'm reading, and I'm underlining and writing in the margins furiously. Things like: "______ is imagery for spiritual hiding." And: "Excellent character building here via dialogue" And: "Themes of Spirituality, Sexuality, Home, Nature, Love, Loss, Grief, Secrets." Or obscure things like: "Connections to the Divine" that clearly I wrote at 2 am or something. That's why e-readers are fine and everything, but I remain unconvinced the world will be okay without real books. Sometimes you have to write in the margins.

3-Social Media, part 2. Oh, wait! I just remembered and want to share this quote from AARP magazine, by another superstar hero of mine, Dame Helen Mirren (who I strive to be when I qualify for AARP magazine). Helen Mirren doesn't have Twitter (because I tried to find her) and she thinks this about social media but particularly Twitter:

"It reminds me of a stinky old pub. In the corner would be this slightly disgusting old man who sits there all day, every day. If you went up and talked to him, you'd get the kind of grumpy, horrible, moldy, old meaningless crap that you read on Twitter."

Yes, Dame Helen! I concur. That summarizes exactly what Twitter is. Dame Helen knows, smart lady. (Are you getting that I have developed a love-hate relationship with that place this summer? I love to read what's happening there and keep up with some of my favorite human beings and news of the world. And I've read some pretty fascinating conversations about the writing process and business of writing. On the other hand, it's also a stinky old pub and I don't know why I keep going there night after night...except. Well, because obviously I'm an alcoholic.)

4-My approach to Humanity--Online and Off. I've also concluded I'm like an overly friendly puppy online (and off, though some days offline are very hormonal, and I find very hormonal to be far easier to conceal online). I want everyone to be happy, and nice, and warm, and friendly. It always disappoints, amazes, and upsets me when I realize others don't feel the same. That, in fact, some people actually desire that others feel sad, and mean, and cold...and they want that because they're convinced making people feel that way builds strength and character by making one more determined. What?! That's a load of bullshit. And I don't know about you, but bullshit has the opposite effect on me.

Actually, now that I think of it...I may be more like Olaf the Snowman from FROZEN: naive, with a great inability to tell people No. Miss M and I have lines from movies we like to break out for no reason. Examples:

From WIZARD OF OZ: "Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking!" -The Scarecrow
From SHREK: "A cute button nose? Taut, round buttocks?!" --Shrek
From FROZEN: "Let's go kiss Hans! Who IS this Hans?" --Olaf (this is a good summary of how I react when asked to participate in most anything)

That' pretty much our repertoire at the moment--you'll be hanging out with us, hanging out with us, etc and so forth, nice conversation, and then suddenly: BAM! One or both of us will just lob one of those quotes at you, for no real reason. M is young; we're still building our random movie quotes portfolio. We hope to have at least twenty usable quotes by this time next year. At some point, we'll be a perfect party duo (until she hits 15 and is too cool for it).

5-Branded for Life. Did I mention I burned myself? With a hot metal hair brush and a hair dryer. It's scarring up nicely, at the right hand bottom of my neck in a prominently noticeable place. I have no idea how I did it--one minute I was brushing/blow drying my hair...the next I was yanking off a round metal brush from seared skin. I swear I was sober; it was only 9 AM. I keep looking at the burn mark, wondering what message the Universe was attempting to tattoo me with. Something that starts with the letter C.

6-Hello to Jason Isaacs (and Anne Heche). Here is where I promote (once again) the tv show DIG (remember? I promised Jason Isaacs on Instagram). They've had to stop production and possibly move filming the rest of the episodes to the USA--Israel & Palestine are a mess right now. I'm terribly worried about Israel & Palestine. I want peace. I want everyone to feel happy, and nice, and warm (see number 4 above). I hope that will happen for the people there, and I keep them all wrapped in strong, huge gobs of light and love that it will. I think I'm most upset by the stories I read about children who are hurt. No child should ever--EVER--be wounded or terrorized by adults who can't get their shit together. Children are a real passion of mine. I think every single child on this planet should go to bed healthy, fed, read to, loved, and safe. If that happened, I'm fairly confident we wouldn't have adults who can't get their shit together.

At any rate, I've already sold this television show to a handful of friends (one of whom lives in England and sadly realized it will be awhile before he gets to see it). So now I will sell it to whoever stumbles upon this blog entry. Go watch THIS:

It's a 6 series show--it has a beginning, middle, and an end (I do love a nice story arc). Plus also: mystery, ancient secrets, AND a crazy conspiracy theory that could make Sarah Palin and Pat Robertson both sound sane?! I think I'm going to be glued to the television when this airs (if only they'd also make it in paperback, so I could write notes on theme, character, story arc, etc in the margins).