birthday intentions.

So I saw this yesterday, from Rob Brezny, who basically should be running the Universe. Even if you're not a big fan of or believer in astrology, I think it's pretty easy to see he's just astute about how Spirit works. (This was his Spirit observation for Pisces. If you aren't Pisces and want to know how to run your week, go HERE.)

"It isn't normal to know what we want," said
pioneering psychologist Abraham Maslow. "It is a rare and difficult
psychological achievement." That's the bad news, Pisces. The good news
is that you may be on the verge of rendering that theory irrelevant. In the
coming weeks, you will be better primed to discover what you really want
than you have been in a long time. I suggest you do a ritual in which you
vow to unmask this treasured secret. Write a formal statement in which
you declare your intention to achieve full understanding of the reasons
you are alive on this planet."

So here's the thing about that--today is my birthday (it's okay if you didn't send a present; I'm having Hibachi for dinner tonight, and so I'll try to forgive you). 

And of course, I have some thoughts about becoming 43:

A) In my head, I'm only 15. Some days maybe a faux-worldly 23. But I know I don't feel 40+3 years in age. In my head.

B) In my body, I also don't feel 43. ...Until I try to do a cartwheel. Or go backwards into a semi-handstand, which I was (once upon a time in a galaxy far far away) able to do. I did a cartwheel in my front yard this past spring at the urging of Miss M, and I really thought I was going to break an arm. (Yoga. What I'm saying is: I need to start taking yoga more serious.) On the plus side, I was blessed with good skin and I work with young children (who will completely exhaust the crap out of you in ways you don't even know about unless you work with them day to day...and yet their brains and worldview are so fresh and young, yours will be that way, too), so I usually shock people when I tell them my actual age. And that's nice, because I like shocking people. A lot.

C) I am 43 today, and the only stamp I have in my passport is to the Bahamas (the Bahamas don't count). Why is this still so? I should have 20 stamps to the UK, 10 stamps to Italy, and a smattering of stamps to somewhere ancient. This simply can't continue.

D) I'm going to spend the next 12 months getting my shit in place. Because I will confide to you (don't tell anyone else this, please) that my shit, at 43, is all over the place. It is seeping out from under the toilet, it's been flung onto walls, flakes of it are sticking to the backs of my legs and I've been walking around like that for months and nobody's even said a thing to me about it. So now at 43, I'm feeling a really intense need to give my bathroom a really good, deep cleaning. That's my focus for the next 12 months: cleaning shit--out of my toilet, off the walls, from cracks in the corners. What a messy, gross, nauseous job this is going to be, but when it's done I know I'll feel better. Everyone around me will, too.

E) Here's a photo montage of what my life looked like 40 or so years ago:

It's not very noticeable here, but basically I spent the first 3 months of my life
looking like a Native American papoose.

This is from when smoking carcinogens around young children was okay.
Didn't sit in a car seat, either.
I love this picture, a lot, so I'm sharing it with you.

And this picture, too.

Right after this was snapped, I bet I did something to make him cry. 
Don't feel bad for my little brother! When we got older, he made me

Qunitessential 1970s, right down the Olan Mills stamp.

And here's a photo montage of what is the most important part of my world today:

This is classic Miss M: confused, and ANGRY.

Dorothy and her little Toto...

And just Dorothy (fake Toto's in the basket).
...Miss M and I may have sort of a thing about the Wizard of Oz.
...and I may have brainwashed her early on, on purpose.

Sweet Miss M, my confused, angry, kind-hearted, hilarious, smart, busy little dramatic princess.

F) Mostly what I'll be concentrating on for the next 12 months is a lot of what Rumi had to say about a lot of everything, because Rumi was pretty on it. And particularly THIS, this quote:

I'm going to clean up my shitty bathroom, focus on my sweet little dramatic princess, figure out how to get more stamps in my passport, work on my flexibility so I can do a handstand without killing my 43 year old body...You know, just basically doing what Rob Brezny told me to do: writing formal statements in which I declare my intention to achieve full understanding of the reasons I am alive on this planet. 

(It may not be your birthday, you may be older or younger than 43, and you may not be a Pisces, but you, too, are welcome to write some formal statements about your intentions to understand your reasons for being here, too.) (Oh, hey--and if you do that? Would you also consider coming over to help me clean my shitty bathroom? Just the toilet. It's the worst part, and I think I'm going to need all the help I can get.)

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