i edit as i go.

No Sigmund Freud, this one.
Last night I took Ernest Hemingway's advice to write drunk; edit sober. I did not get drunk, but I did get close. And here's what I found out: Ernest Hemingway gives crap advice. Please know this. Do NOT write drunk; edit sober. I'm going to flip that and say it's probably better to write sober; edit drunk. I couldn't even find the correct keys to type, and I gave up about 4 paragraphs in because I just wanted to get on social media and hug someone, tell a stranger how much I loved them. Do not do this, Internet. Put down the bourbon and FOCUS.

I'm signing on for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) again. My handle there is amy223. If you're doing it, too, link up to me! Let's suffer for Art together. I've taken on this November writing project in the past, and I have finished a novel this many times: 0. The idea is to just write (sober or drunk, but seriously: do it sober) and do NOT edit for the whole month of November. If you do this a certain number of words/pages per day all through November, you should have a 50,000 word novel completed by the Nov. 30. 

It's the "do NOT edit for the whole month" part that trips me up. I DO edit as I go; it's a disease and I can't help it. I go back and re-read what I wrote and go: WHAT?! That makes absolutely no sense! or What?! Those facts don't line up at all. or Was I on crack when I typed that?! So the not editing part is very very hard for me. I do have a bit of perfectionist in me--I'm certain this is also why I'm a procrastinator. 

Have I promoted Jason Isaacs' show DIG lately? No, I have not. Let me update you on that: It will be on TV in March, specifically March 5, 2015.  AND the network thinks it's so awesome-super-cool they ordered 4 more episodes in addition to the six they already paid for, which makes 10! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN total episodes of DIG on USA! (Please go back and re-read that in the voice of The Count, from Sesame Street) (also, as a writer, I'm thinking: this is GOOD! more writing work for the writers! but, as a writer, I'm also going: holy shit! how do you take a story arc you already finished and add MORE to it??) (I bet the DIG writers don't have that fear at all, that the only reason I even have that thought goes directly back to my problems with my edit-as-I-go disease).

At any rate, set your DVRs, get your inner FBI agent/archeologist ready. They're in Albuquerque, New Mexico filming it right now. (Well, actually, not right now...according to Jason on his Twitter account, he's off promoting the movie Fury. First he was in New Mexico working, then he had to fly to Washington, DC to promote Fury, and now he's in London at a film festival promoting it. Famous people seem to have to change time zones a lot; just reading about how many different places Jason Isaacs has been over the last week or so makes me want to take a nap.) (In addition, he posted a picture of what an actor promoting a film sees when walking a red carpet...lands, that looks overwhelming. A thousand people with cameras going off, shouting at you. I wouldn't even know where to look. Bless you, famous people.) (Unless you're a douchebag--in that case, I hope a wayward camera flash permanently blinds you.) (Jason Isaacs is not a douchebag; I've only ever heard how very very very nice he is, which is why I've put him on my Superhero List.)

In non-famous people news: Miss M got her first report card.  Basically, she's an excellent reader who needs to work on her handwriting, listening/following directions skills, and self-control. I tell her this all the time myself, so I'm glad it's now documented on paper forever. I plan to whip it out and remind her when she's an adult: EVERYbody said this about you. It's a problem. That's on the one hand. On the other hand, sigh. She's a teacher's kid. You'd think teachers would have the niche on how to raise a perfect kid. We do not. I think it's because we're so focused on raising other people's kids and we forget we have to raise our own. (This is the part where I start singing: 

Being good isn't always easy
No matter how hard I try...
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the kid of a teacher woman...)

Next up is her birthday. She'd like exactly 1000 things, needs to analyze the frickin' thing multiple times each day, and doesn't necessarily want to wait another 10 days for her birthday presents and likes to have melt downs when you tell her NO, you have to wait. These are some of the 1000 things she'd like: One Direction stuff, a marriage proposal from Harry Styles, some type of Barbie thing, a FROZEN doll that changes her dress, some cool things, some really awesome things, Monster High, a REAL pony (real as in, it eats grass and you ride it and it poops large mounds of crap on your lawn and your HOA people have aneurysms about it), all the candy she wants, a gigantic chocolate and vanilla birthday cake, a sleepover, lots of cool stuff, fresh pajamas, and a Queasy Bake Oven. (I don't know who taught her to call it a Queasy Bake Oven, but I think whoever did has clearly eaten something baked in one of them.)

This coming weekend, I'll be in Tybee Island with friends. SO excited about this. I don't know how much writing I'll get done, but I do plan to sit on the beach with a notepad and at least concoct one tremendously bad poem. I'm also hoping that walking the beach and collecting sea shells will help me sort myself out. I am finding I need an awful lot of sorting lately, and I don't know where to start. 

...actually, that is untrue. I do know where to start. But I'm reluctant to, and dragging my feet about it. Because it is hard. And I don't do hard very well. (Remember? I like to edit as I go.)

On the plus side, Magic Mike XXL is currently filming in Tybee Island, Georgia. There was a picture in PEOPLE magazine recently of a shirtless Joe Manganiello tossing a ball. WITH NO SHIRT ON (did you get that?). I don't necessarily need to see Joe without a shirt on while I'm there, but it would be nice if he at least tossed his ball and it hit me in the head. And then he felt really bad and was scared I'd sue him, so he took me and my friends out to dinner. And then he gave us all an invitation to the red carpet movie premiere. (Would Jason Isaacs attend that? Shirtless Joe Manganiello is pretty hard to resist, I think.) 

That's all I want: dinner with (shirtless) Joe Manganiello on the beach in Tybee Island. (What did you just say? He has a girlfriend named Sofia? It's just dinner, yo. Plus, I'd bake him dessert in M's Queasy Bake Oven and then he'd know: I am not the one for him.)

I actually had a blog post about why what happens at a kid's home has a direct effect on what happens at school, but it had a lot of swearing in it and was kind of angry. So you got this unfocused mess instead. It's Sunday night and I have a long week of testing ahead of me. Deal with it. 

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