3 strikes.

Source: The Story People

In a tremendous effort to keep this blog from turning into the All DIG (on USA!) ALL THE TIME!! blog, instead of the "Amy's Totally Weird Brain Spewings" blog that it originally began as before DIG-y mind blowing magic took over everything (no, seriously: EVERYTHING), I'm going to write a quick, here's where I'm at/what I've been up to (besides trying to figure out what the holy hell is HAPPENING over there in Gideon Raff/Tim Kring's Israel/New Mexico/Croatia...every Thursday night, at 10 PM...on USA!).

(See? See?! Even in a This Is NOT Going To Turn Into An About DIG blog post, it turns into a This Actually IS Starting To Turn Into An About DIG blog post. But seriously, I'm stopping now and focusing.)

So. In a nutshell, I had a really bad week, Internet. The weather didn't help, for one--nothing but grey and cold and crap and rainy. Listen: Y'all know I have an inability to deny a good British accent. And y'all know I'm dying to visit the Mother Land. But that does NOT mean I want the Mother Land's weather to come visit ME. And if/when it does, I certainly do NOT want it pitching a tent in my backyard for weeks at a time. Because if I DID want that, know where I'd be living right now? Stoke-on-Tent, which apparently is where--if the world needed an enema--they'd shove the pipe. (Apologies to all the Stoke-on-Tent people...but that enema quote was from one of your own.) (And don't feel bad--in Georgia, we've got Clayton County.)

So the weather sucked. Strike One.

Then I had to go back to work after Spring Break. And post-Spring Break is always: it's Testin' Time. Because it's for 3rd-5th graders and I don't teach those grades, I don't actually have to give anybody The BIG Big Data End Of Year Even Though It's Still Only April And There Are Four Weeks of School Left Test (in some areas this is called the PARCC...Georgia looked at the cost of PARCC and how it was formatted and said: too expensive, too political, and meh...we can do better. And you know what they did? Came up with an expensive, political, poorly formatted big end-of-year test. That tests stamina more than skills, and wait til it goes online and all the squirrely, not quite-abstract-thinker 9 year olds have to type all their essay responses. Should be a fresh day in public education hell when that starts. Well done, people who've never taken a child development class or worked with groups of children growing up in generational poverty with absolutely no home support! Well done.)

I'm absorbing the stress around me, is what I'm telling you. Strike Two.

I don't typically talk about what's going on in my house, because (a) it's not just my story to tell, and so I can only share about 50% of it here and (b) it just makes me really sad because it's just gotten so fucked up. I will tell you it's not abusive; I am loved, he is loved. But it's not a functional love at this point--the disconnect is wide and huge and to cross to the other side now to try to fix it would be like trying to walk a tight rope across the Grand Canyon. Blindfolded. We have been in and out of counselors' offices for 15 years; we have fought and fought and fought to make it work. We love one another immensely; but sometimes? Love is just not enough.

So I am struggling right now--in my work AND my home life, and I'm going to have to make some very huge drastic changes in order to claw my way back to Okayville. These are both internal and external changes, and to make them I need to go on a journey (of sorts), but I'm going to be carrying A. Lot. Of. Baggage. Some of it very out of control.

I think the more out of control one is the home life--because I have a small child. When C and I separated the 2nd time in 2007 (the first time was briefly in 2005), there was no child. And that was really, really, really hard. But now we are going down this road again and taking a child with us, and this has just been incredibly gut-wrenching and painful. We actually made the decision to separate well over a year ago; but the pain involved because of our child has kept us together well past the date we thought we should stay together. This is just an immensely, inordinately, gigantically difficult thing to pull the trigger on. And I never thought I'd be back here again in this hard, dark place. I know why I'm back here again...but that's part of the 50% I can't share publicly.  

So I spend a lot of time consumed by guilt, fear, and worry. Miss M doesn't know what's going on, but she senses the situation is dire and she's attempting to fix it in all the heartbreaking ways only six year olds can bring forth from their open little hearts. 

I'm getting a lot of advice from various different people--some tell me we should stick it out for her sake. And I see why they're saying that. But they also don't live in my house--they don't see the relationship model Miss M is growing up watching. Mommies and Daddies should express love and hold hands and go on dates and enjoy spending time together. This is not what is happening in front of Miss M. She's learning that Mommies and Daddies are friends and care about each other and are civil but are essentially two extremely different people who just can't meet in the middle, ever. I don't want that for her. 

And other people tell me children are resilient, she will adjust and be fine and this is all going to be okay. But can I tell you that she has nightmares about not being able to find her daddy? And that she can alternately be really quite clingy and then suddenly morph into a little Miss Hyde over the most ridiculous things? And that sometimes she MAKES us hold hands and encourages us to kiss or hug or sit next to each other? And that she often begs me to sleep in the same room as Daddy again? And that, when in little Miss Hyde mode, she takes on the role of scapegoat for all our problems?

In other words, I'm not just causing pain to myself and C by leaving...I'm bringing it to an innocent soul who never ever asked for it. I am overwhelmed by sorrow and guilt by this, but for me to stay in the situation would be equally as overwhelming. I am absolutely overwhelmed, most days and hours of the week during which I am awake and some of the hours I'm asleep, too. Which has become another area of stress for me (proper amounts of decent sleep.)

Hey--can I break here for a second and give you some love advice? When you go looking for True Love, please be prepared to accept whatever shows up and love it as is. Don't buy nails and tools and try to cut and bend and saw at it; don't bang on it over and over to get it to fit into your square hole--if you are given a round peg, then love the roundness and accept it was never meant to transform into a square, as deeply as it might want to and as hard as it may try for you. And please (please) promise you won't ever ask another human being to be your mirror; be content with being your own looking glass. And love looking at your beloved's looking glass and embrace what it reflects back to you, with all its dents and splotchy spots and cracks.

On top of all of THAT, I am possessed by concern over being able to be on  my own.  I am the poster child for Procrastination. I am sure, next to the term "Avoidant Behavior Traits" in the DSM V, is a diagrammed picture of me. Plus, I have a well-documented history of forgetting to pay bills. This is because I have the kind of brain that can remember exactly what you said to me at 3:01 PM on June 26, 2004 as we stood in front of a movie theater arguing about whether to see HARRY POTTER, THE NOTEBOOK, or SPIDERMAN 2. But I've been known to forget to pay the cable bill. Just this February I almost forgot to pay my car tags. Literally, I was in the Tag Office 10 minutes before it closed. 

I want to be alone, is what I'm saying...but I remain unconvinced it's a good idea. And yet to stay in my current situation...wouldn't be a horrible fate, because it's safe and the known. But both of us are by various turns miserable, angry, resentful, or just going through motions. And I want more than that for him, me, and particularly Miss M.

That's the worst part of my existence right now. The weather is just something for me to whine about. Participating in mining children for data is giving me tremendous angst and making me question what the hell I was thinking back in 1992 when I declared an Education major. But my home life is completely overwhelming at the moment, coloring a lot of everything. It's a sad, hard situation that I and two other people I love a lot are in. Yet I waffle. Some days I think: this is OK; I can do this for another 12 years if every day were like this. Other days I think: nope, this is very very bad; I can't do this for another 12 weeks, let alone years.

Divorce is hard, love doesn't fix everything, sometimes sorry really IS the hardest word, Sir Elton John, and...divorce is hard. So...Strike Three.

But bad things come in threes, yes? Which should mean I'm good for awhile. And I'm really, really thankful to the creators of DIG for making such an amazingly good show that--for 10 whole weeks of my life--gives me an escape route from my problems (on Thursday nights, USA Network, 10/9 Central). Then Fridays-Sundays I analyze and research it. Mondays-Wednesdays are for harassing all its cast members on Twitter....okay, fine. I really just harass Jason Isaacs. Because he's from England and I've heard that's how they express affection and admiration. Plus, he's not from Stoke-on-Tent or Clayton County, Georgia so he's got a better sense of humor. Thanks, DIG! (on USA.)

Here. This is by Brian Andreas of The Story People. I forgot all about Brian and The Story People until I went searching for some things and found them on Twitter (they have Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest too--I mean, WHO doesn't these days??). These speak to me and comfort me (maybe they will you, too):

dig (on usa!) connecting the dots out loud.

Connecting the dots out loud...for me, but if you're interested, come along!

@DIGonUSA put up a picture clue puzzle piece on Twitter yesterday. And my tired brain figured it out. Not before some other person's smart brain figured it out, but that is not the point. The point is (before I even looked to see if someone else had figured it out, I figured it out. With a tired brain. If my brain weren't tired, IMAGINE the possibilities! Imagine them.) (Full disclosure: I unscrambled this with a friend's help. Imagine if my brain weren't tired AND I had a friend's help. I'd solve the entire Middle East crisis. Or just find a way for everyone to earn money while they sleep. Or convince Congress to enact the Three Day Work Week law. Something.)

Anyway. Here was the puzzle picture clue:

Can you unscramble the words to figure it out? You have 60 seconds...GO!

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Emma was hired to frame Peter. 

That's a plot twist reveal BEFORE the plot twist reveal! Now I suppose the next chapters will tell us why and how Emma was hired to frame Peter. (The plot twists thicken.)

So, here are some dots I've connected: 

Peter * Emma * Professor Margrove * Yusef Khalid * Ambassador Ruth Ridell  * Rabbi Lev * Avram * The Essene 

Some dots hanging out there for me still: Tad Billingham * Debbie * Joshua * Charlie

I no longer think Emma and Peter's daughter are the same person, or connected. Peter is NOT Emma Wilson's dad. I think Peter had only one child, a girl named Vicky, who he loved with his whole heart. And one day she took her own life, and now Peter is soul-sick with grief and struggling to find his place in the world again. He feels a tremendous connection to Emma because she's a troubled girl, and this is because he's mourning one troubled girl he couldn't save; so maybe he'll redeem himself through this one. (Repentance, redemption: more DIG themes.) I think when Emma was sent to frame Peter (I have suspicions about why, but I can't figure out how to put them into words yet), she felt the connection and misinterpreted as a potential love thing (Emma has daddy issues--she was having an affair with Prof. M., remember?) and developed feelings for Peter that freaked him out. And Peter may have developed feelings for Emma, couldn't figure them out, and the grief is really just generally effing with his head. (That's grief for you.)

I'm like 99% certain Billingham is connected to the Ambassador is connected to Rabbi Lev is connected to bringing Josh to the Temple Mount (for nefarious purposes). I think Josh has been groomed to be the High Priest, but it's also possible for him to be the Messiah. I'm saying that because I read that somewhere in my research on Essenes--they believed in two high priests, plus a Messiah, during the big battle between Sons of Light and Sons of Darkness. Soooo...maybe some more Joshuas will turn up later--Josh High Priest #1, Josh High Priest #2, and Josh the Messiah. Or! Maybe the Josh that Fay had to shoot dead was supposed to be the Messiah...or one of the other High Priests. And so now they're short a Josh. Don't know--I'm still mulling that.

Also: I think the creepy New Mexico compound is a science factory. I know (from researching the red cow), there are people and groups out there who are using science right now to breed a pure red cow. So why wouldn't there also be groups out there who are using science right now to breed the perfect Temple Mount #3 High Priests + Messiah? 

I think Emma was being used by Margrove in connection to what Yusef Khalid was doing, and she knew about what the group was doing but had no other choice--nefarious groups often do that to you, you know: make offers you can't refuse. I have theories about why she appeared to be murdered--I'm not sure how THAT worked, though. I mean, if you're dead and the police photograph you and do crime scene investigation, then...you're not only merely dead, you're really most sincerely dead. Right? 

Unless....Unless!! The police are in on it and helping you stage a death. (The police? Lying under oath? Corrupt?! Noooo. They would never do that! Not the police!! The police are always very forthright and honest and completely uncorruptable.) (I'm being sarcastic, for anyone reading who wasn't born with that gene.)

I think The Essene is trying to stop the Ambassador/Lev/Billingham's nefarious games, and will eventually help Peter and Golan to stop their nefarious purposes, too. As long as Golan isn't in on it. But I bet The Essene's going to do it in a really spectacularly weird spiritually ritualistic kind of way. Somebody's gettin' sacrificed at the Apocalyptic End. Is what I'm saying.

I think the Well of Souls will be brought back in--did you know, supposedly, the flood waters that God used to lay waste to all the Earth (except for whoever was on Noah's ark) lie beneath the Well of Souls? That's what they say. And really--there's hard evidence there's a big cistern or another cave of some sort beneath the actual Well of Souls, just no one's ever gone down in it.

So those are my dots now. I think Emma is going to help Peter figure out what's going on. I think Avram's going to help The Essene. I think Margrove's not long for this world. I think Ruth, Lev, and Tad are going to try to talk to God with The Breastplate of Judgment, and I hope God tells them to stick it where the sun don't shine. Or just refuses to answer when they call. Send that shit to voice mail, God. 

Next time, I'll write about the Temple Mount/Well of Souls. Geeky research. Which I heart so much. I mean, seriously. If I could find a way to figure out a career that paid decent and combined coffee, research, chocolate, cupcakes, naps, music in minor key, the beach, sunny days, wine, the smells of mown grass/patchouli/lavender/coconut/sandalwood, and hearing children's laughter at least 10 times a day with movies/books/storytelling? I'd be the happiest freaking human being on this planet.

For now, I'll just focus on sharing stuff about the Temple Mount because if you don't know about that place, you'd better learn. It's kind of a big deal. For, like, the whole planet. Possibly the other planets, too.

dig (on usa!) thoughts: ep 6 (soulful wells)

I'm sorry! I am sorry. I typically try to do these on Sundays, but I'll just be flat out honest and tell you that I spent the vast majority of Sunday mourning my life. My Spring Break came to an end and I had to go back to my real job. Which is not even half as awesome as my make believe job (except I can't tell  you what my make believe job is, or I'd have to take you to an underground bunker and do things to you that are total violations of the Geneva Convention, yet Dick Cheney approved).

Okay. So my thoughts (from my notes!) about episodio numero seis de DIG (en USA!) (te prometo--no mas espanol. Debe ser en hebreo pero yo solo se espanol) (you can just copy/paste that into Google Translate and decode it...I'm trying to flex my Spanish muscles more these days just...cause I want to). 

Where was I?

Yes! DIG. On USA.

So (again) amazing writing (just expect me to write that during each one of these thought blogs--these writerly people have gigantic, smart brains...how the hell did they DO all this research and then pull it all together to tell this complex, magnificent tale???). Also expect one bad ass, HOLY SHIT TORPEDOS! moment--this week's was a resurrected dead person (didn't Jesus do that, too?). 

Here are things I noted that I thought matter a lot (from my notes!):

The Essene. Are you convinced he's a good guy? 'Cause I'M convinced (more and more) he's a good guy. Here's why:

1-He didn't kill Avram. In fact, he re-enacted the entire basis to the entire religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam; the ONE big scene from the Old Testament all 3 major religions agree on, the one incident that kind of makes us one big religious family...no matter how many times we've tried to warmonger, murder, and bomb the crap out of each other: this story is the reason we all like to say GOD IS LOVE. 

(This story is, of course, the part where God tells Abraham to take his most precious and beloved son Isaac up to Mt. Moriah and plunge a knife into him as a human sacrifice to prove Abraham's devotion to God. Abraham's totally going to do that, but then God stops him right before the knife goes down, and it's to show Abraham that God would never, ever require such a thing of HIS children--unlike that freaky Egyptian god Horus.

God loves Abraham [and Isaac] too much. But also: don't forget it, children--God's a jealous God, and so don't even try His patience. But yeah. God's got your back and loves you, you crazy kids!) 

side note: This is where religion gets really dysfunctional for me; these kinds of stories just seem like really fucked up parenting, and that an omniscient, all-knowing Creator ought to know better than to even suggest His children do such terrible things to one another. But then...I've done talk therapy and read hundreds if not thousands of self help books, and Psychiatry was just not a thing in ancient times.

So at any rate, that Essene is one cool jelly bean...when he wakes up (he wasn't REALLY asleep--are you kidding me? Essenes don't SLEEP) to find Avram with a knife over him, he gives him a chance to kill him, even instructing Avram how to do it properly. But The Essene knows--this is a sweet, innocent kid. So he re-enacts that scene to scare the crap out of Avram, teach him a lesson, but also show him mercy and love...in sort of a dysfunctional God-kind of way. Marching him to the spot he's going to do this, the Essene also tells Avram that maybe his tears can cleanse him of all the innocent blood that's been shed. 

So I'm leaning toward: Good Guy Essene. Kind of intense. A little over the top. But somebody you want with you if/when you're lost in the woods or the Negev Desert. 

2-Avram was plunged into a mikveh. I wrote about those. The writers did a good job incorporating that--it was historically accurate. Natural water in the tub via gravity. Ice counts--in my mikveh research, I did see a video of some men rolling around in some snow in Norway or Canada or somewhere Arctic-y to take a mikveh. Mikvehs--as long as it's naturally sourced water and you can submerse. 

I wasn't sure why the Essene burned some of Avram's hair, so I looked it up. I couldn't find anything specific about Essenes burning hair, but they were all about ritual, so it seemed legit. Maybe it was some kind of non-living sacrifice/repentant/part of Avram's repent-and-cleanse process? 

However, I did learn some more things about Essenes (if you're interested): they were all about repentance for sins (thus, the mikvehs), and they LOVED the color white (hence the Essene's dressing in white robes, shirts, outfits a lot). The mikveh that the Essene plunged Avram into would have been a regular ritual for an ancient Essene: many scholars contend that John the Baptist was an Essene, and this is why he baptized people in a river (mikvehs)...it would be a necessary act of repenting.

Oh, AND! Did you note? Avram and the Essene were eating vegetables--no meat on that table. And they were eating communally, which would be something the Essenes would do. Shared meals, no meat, very very somber at their meals (actually very somber a lot--Essenes took life SERIOUS. I, on the other hand, am unable to resist a good toilet joke).

Some more thoughts about DIG #6:

3-Catatonic Gregory. He's got Jerusalem Syndrome (maybe). Jerusalem Syndrome is a psychosis brought on by extreme religious or spiritual fervor due to a visit to Jerusalem. People become so consumed with the feels brought on by being in THE one city in the world that, if you were going to casually run into the Lord God Himself having coffee in a quiet side street cafe? This would be that city. People with JS become total, complete psychotics and don't get over it until they're removed from Jerusalem. (I sense this is behind what happened during The Crusades.)

So Gregory has the mysterious key symbol/architectural design for Crazy Ted's cult-y compound carved on his chest. Supposedly, Gregory carved it there himself after his father was killed by members of The Order of Moriah and Gregory went a tad nutty over it. 

So Gregory is unresponsive, but tracing--over and over--the name "Jehoshaphat" into dust on the windowsill. When Peter questions him about it, he goes berserk and attacks Peter. So let's talk about what Jehosophat means, who he was:

"Jehoshaphat" means "God judges." He was the 4th king of the Kingdom of Judah, about BCE 914. Jerusalem was located in Judah at that time, and there was a northern Kingdom of Israel. Jehoshaphat became king at 35, and ruled for 25 years. His father was Asa, and Jehoshaphat honored and followed the ways of his father, which was to worship the one true God. He worked as hard as he could to teach his people about morality and religion, and his riches and honors increased because of these good deeds. However, no matter how hard he tried, Jehoshaphat could not convince his people to worship the one true God of their ancestors. Later, at the end of his reign, there was a big battle called Ramoth-Gilead, and Jehoshaphat became Ahab's ally, and he also made an alliance with the King of Israel, Ahaziah, who was an evil man...and God destroyed everything Jehoshaphat had worked to build in a war with nation of Moab.

In the Bible, there is mention of the Valley of Jehoshaphat. This is a valley between Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives; the river Kidron runs through it. Jehoshaphat defeated enemies of Israel here, but it's also the location where, supposedly, God will gather all of the nations of the world when He's ready to caste His judgment on them. Jews have also used this valley since ancient times as burial ground, and if you go there, you can see it's all paved over with flat stones (for tombstones) that have Hebrew inscriptions.

Thus concludes your Jehoshaphat research geekery. I don't know if any of that will come into play later in the story, but maybe...since the Valley of Jehoshaphat sounds ominous with all that judging of nations by God going on. And the dead bodies underneath it.

4-Debbie, Charlie, and Josh. Don't you just want them to be a little happy family? I mean, sure Josh is a brainwashed future Temple Mount #3 High Priest, possibly also being groomed to be the Messiah because my research told me that was possible.  And sure, Debbie's a recovering addict insecure still about herself and her place in the world. And sure, Charlie's clearly been burnt by her in the past and has lingering trust issues. But it could happen! It could happen.

My favorite scene in THIS episode was the one between Debbie and Josh, right before Ted B. and Company turn up to pee all over it. Debbie tells Josh that God is responsible for all the stars in the sky, that God created it all both good and bad. And Josh tells her Ted B. told him that every star represents a soul, and the place all those souls reside is in something called the Well of Souls which is beneath an ancient temple in Jerusalem. And then, speak of the devil (Ted) who shows up? Right. On. Cue.

5-So let's talk about the Well of Souls. 'Cause I researched 'em. It. Whatever. Here's your quickie for the day:

In the show, the Well of Souls is either very near or beneath tunnel 7 (that's a mystical number, by the way). The controversy around the Well of Souls is that it may contain the Ark of the Covenant (aka the container the Ten Commandments were housed in). In the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones finds the Ark in a room called the Well of Souls, but it's in an Egyptian city called Tanis. The REAL Well of Souls is far more religiously/politically contentious. 

Because right now, the Well of Souls is under the control of the Waqf Muslim religious trust. Muslims regularly venture down into the Well of Souls to pray. And sometimes, as long as it's pretty calm and peaceful, they'll open it up to tourists. But mostly: just Muslims get to use it. 

It's known by different names (Pit of Souls, Cave of Spirits), and the belief is that this is where all dead people gather while they await Judgment Day. The Dome of the Rock built on top of the Well of Souls (not a mosque, it's more of a shrine) was built in medieval times. I'll talk more about it in my Temple Mount research geek blog later, but that's some quick and dirty background for you.

The fascinating thing (for me) about the Well of Souls is that, when you bang on the floor of it, there's an echo. So there's some type of chamber beneath, but nobody knows what it is for sure, and nobody has ever seen it or been in it (except maybe Enoch...and the Order of Moriah!). The Temple Mount is actually full of cisterns, tunnels, caves, and chambers--about 45 of them. 

6-The bartender at the restaurant Emma liked to haunt in Jerusalem. He got found with some creepy collage of her in his closet (I know that's where I keep all MY creepy collages). So Golan and Peter had an exciting chase to catch him, Golan got punched in the nose, and he was all mad about it. (I feel the SAME way when I stub my toe.) They arrested the bartender for beating up cops but also possibly murder. But when they showed the bartender the pictures of dead Emma, he didn't really react but he did sort of close his eyes for a beat. And then sat really looking at her picture while Peter played a sneaky trick to get Golan out of the room so he could go in and ask his #DigDeeper questions. 

But Peter didn't get his answers in the end, just a sly wink from the (possibly innocent) bad guy.

7-Then Lynne came in to break up the fight and accidentally got punched in the jaw by Peter. (This one time, in high school, my 11th grade AP English teacher Mrs. Spoonamoore ran to the hallway to break up a girl fight. She wasn't watching what she was doing, and her flattened palm accidentally slammed into one of the girl's throats...it stopped the fight, and the girl could be heard gagging all the way down the hallways as she was drug off to the office. Then, Mrs. Spoonamoore slooooowly turned on us, the audience, and said quite deliberately, "Oh. I have a black belt in Karate. Don't try anything with me." Mrs. Spoonamore was like 85 or something.)

8-At the end, just as Peter's packing his things for a Walk of Shame (or, Flight, rather) back to the States, who should show up in his hotel room but red-haired murdered girl Emma Wilson. AND SHE WAS ALIVE. Bruised, muddied, battered, traumatized...but ALIVE. (And Alison Sudol! What an amazingly good actress in addition to beautiful singer...she knew just how to portray that trauma the right way.)

Questions I was left with from this episode:

*WHY did that bartender guy wink? WHY??? And he was so smooth about it. He totally could've picked me up in a bar and I'd have gone with him.

*Who is Gregory? Whoooo is Gregory???

*I didn't even talk about Rabbi Lev's use of (a) a mobile phone on the Sabbath and (b) ordering Avram to break a Ten Commandment by killing another human being. 

*Where'd the cow go? Obviously with the Essene. Who I don't believe will sacrifice it. He may have plans for it, but I don't think it involves ritual death, and getting turned into paste.

*Why doesn't somebody just get a freaking shovel and start digging in the Well of Souls? I'm sure there's all kinds of politically charged reasons for why they don't or can't, but seriously. Somebody just pull a Peter, grab the key from under the potted plant on the ledge, and just...DIG. Damn it. (WHAT IS UNDER THE WELL OF SOULS???)

*What. The. Hell. Happened. TO EMMA????

And that's it for this time. I think the 6 (heh, get it? Episode #6, so here are 6) important things you should take away from this are:

1. This show's themes are death, grief, and judgment.

2. A cold mikveh by candlelight may be a good idea after every impure thought. (I'd have to do this at LEAST 2000 times a day.) Also: let sleeping Essenes lie.

3. Hide your creepy collages better. If you can't do that, run faster.

4. THIS is an awesome song:

...Until Ted Billingham shows up. Damn it, Ted!

5. Stay out of Jerusalem if you even suspect your Holy Ghost may not handle it well.

6. Valleys and Wells of dead people are probably not smart places stand around in.

mounted illuminati.

Hi, Internet! Are you interested in some more geekified Holy Land Research Reports? I would like to apologize for my last research post. What a frickin' mess, and I know it. I got waylaid on Thursday, way beyond the time I thought I'd be waylaid, and then only had about an hour to fix what I could before DIG (on USA!) aired Thursday (at 10PM/9Central). Episode #6 was called "The Well of Souls," and I was CERTAIN there'd be dead people in it so I wanted to get it published before airtime. (The focus wasn't really on dead people at all--except one dead person did get found alive!). In other words, I wasn't able to connect the dots in that entry as well as I wanted to, and more than that, the part that's driving my perfectionist OCD writer persona absolutely effing nuts? I couldn't hone it. And now it's out there, and I'm too busy to fix it.

Not my finest, but maybe this one will be better?

So on Thursday the Order of Moriah was introduced on DIGonUSA. At first I googled "Order of Mariah," and only got a bunch of stuff about Mariah Carey silencing Nick Cannon with a gag order--divorce is hard, girlfriend...divorce is hard. Then I figured out my misspelling and got the real stuff. Here's some background on the name/word Moriah:

The word Moriah means "Chosen by God," but it's also connected to the term "Divine Wind," and THAT'S connected to the Apocalypse and God's angelic war. Moriah is also the ancient name for where the Dome of the Rock now stands, the spot Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac until God told Abraham, "Ha! J/K, dude--here, sacrifice this ram instead." It's also the spot where the Prophet Mohammed supposedly ascended into Heaven on a horse. When I talk about the Temple Mount some more in my next geeky research-y post, I'll talk about ley lines and Axis Mundi, which have something to do (I bet) with what the nefarious group is planning on the show. But basically, Mt. Moriah (aka Temple Mount) is an Axis Mundi, a portal between Earth and Heaven, and more than that, it's our planet's finest, PREMIERE mystic portal. It's the one spot God likes to communicate to mere humans most, and it's why Mohammed was able to magically go up to Heaven from that spot and also why God chose THAT spot to send Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Because God knew He'd be able to stop him just in time by talking to Abraham--but through an angel. (God has voice mail--did you know?)

In addition to that, many different religions have a name for that angel who spoke to/stopped Abraham, and that name varies. Lots of ancient religious texts call the angel "Metatron," but a more familiar name might be Enoch, from the book of 3 Enoch, an apocryphal book of the Old Testament...also known by the titles: "The Book of Palaces," "The Book of Rabbi Ishmael the High Priest," and "The Revelation of Metatron." Rabbi Ishmael was a High Priest of the 2nd Temple, by the way. The Book of Enoch is chockablock full of angelic stories. Enoch was the 7th son of the patriarchs, the son of Jared and Noah's great-grandfather. The Babylonians revered him as a great astronomer and the inventor of astrology. He is said to have created a subterranean temple beneath Mt. Moriah (the Temple Mount) and he also (supposedly) created a gold triangle encrusted with precious stones and metals, on which he carved God's true name. Enoch's subterranean temple is located beneath the Well of Souls, and it contains information on the creation of the Earth as well as all the Arts and Sciences. Right before Enoch's death, he gathered all his sons about him and commanded them to always worship the one true God, and then ascended into Heaven to become an angel. While there, he receives all the mystical secrets behind how God created the Universe. There's also mention of a hostile angel named Azazel, which in all 3 major world religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) is the fallen angel (YOU know who I'm talking about, don't you?)

At any rate, Enoch is the master angel of the element Wind, and he's also the boss of all the other wind and windstorm angels (as a side note, I hate windstorms--it's connected to the Wizard of Oz, and if you remind me sometime I'll tell you all about it). In fact, there's a claim that, within some academic biblical circles, the Dead Sea Scrolls at Qumran were actually an amalgamation of two rival priestly schools: The Enochic and the Zadokite. The Enochic school studied astronomy/astrology (the sun, the moon, the stars...). There's something, in Masonic literature, about the Delta of Enoch--it has to do with the latitude of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, that you place a wand or some kind of marker in the shadow of the rising sun on the summer solstic (St. John's Day for Freemason's), and something will happen. It's also notable that the Essene community at Qumran would pray toward the rising sun in the Temple.

So. Now that you know all of THAT, also know that Enoch is connected to The Order of Moriah, because they're connected to The Illuminati, and The Illuminati is connected to the Freemasons, and in the Freemasons, Enoch is (supposedly, since it's a secret society) a critical figure in many of their texts and rituals.

The thing about Enoch (for Moriah/Freemason/Illuminati conspiracy theorists) is that conspiracy theorists claim the Freemasons and The Illuminati have taken Enoch and connected him in their rituals, and those rituals are to Lilith, the worship of Great Horned Owl (aka Molech, aka the Devil), as well as the ritual sacrifice of children. The Order of Moriah (aka the Illuminati) wants to use all of these rituals, the theorists claim, as part of how they're going to establish a New World Order.

I actually have a special connection to The Order of Moriah. My special connection to The Order of Moriah is that the men on the patriarchal side of my family were all members of the Freemasons. Currently, my brother, who is not a member of the Freemasons and has thus totally broken their diabolical hold over us, has all my father's Freemason stuff--rings, lapel pins, books, etc. He's not allowed to use any of it because if he runs into a Freemason and they ask him their mysterious questions and try to do their secret handshake on him and he has no idea? He will be in TROUBLE. (I think they take him to a deep cave in the woods and beat the crap out of him...or maybe just enslave him at one of their Masonic Lodges.)

At any rate, groups like Order of the Moriah, The Illuminati, the Freemasons, etc., are all about rituals I can tell you from personal knowledge. My father was not a regular at Freemason events or rituals, but he did often haunt Masonic Lodges in whichever area we were in (specifically, my father haunted their bar areas).

However, when he died, some strangers showed up at his funeral. They were Freemasons, and they needed to perform a secret ritual before we could lay him in the ground. So we all had to leave the room where my dad's body was, the Freemason guys closed and locked the doors, and they were in there with my dad for about 10-15 minutes.

When they came out, they just got in their cars and left. They were nice, but didn't really speak to any of us. I have no idea who they were, and they didn't know my dad, but they knew my dad was a Freemason. (Someone probably contacted them--I'm sure I could ask my people up in the Pocono Mountains and they'd tell me who they were--maybe.)

When I went back into the room, my dad had stuff laying on his chest: a soft white piece of lambskin, a sprig of some plant, some sort of passage, possibly a coin. My memory's fuzzy because of the tremendous pain from grief and mourning. I specifically remember the plant sprig and the lambskin. Freemasons. Secret. Shrouded in mystery. Connected to The Order of Moriah. (I hope revealing to everyone their special dead body ritual doesn't land me in a Masonic sacrificial rite or anything.)

Now let's talk about The Illuminati-slash-The Order of Moriah specifically. Here's the brief historically-accepted background:

The Illuminati started in Bavaria, in the 1700s by a man named Adam Weishaupt. He was appointed to the top of a University there, a position that had traditionally gone to Jesuit priests. This didn't go over well. Then, Adam got made a Dean and it REALLY didn't go over well. He was constantly fighting with the priests and hated their politics. So he started an order, a secret order, called The Order of Illuminati that was comprised of men who agreed with him politically. Later, the order grew and grew, a lot of their recruiting from the Freemasons, growing their ranks into thousands of members. And when you have like 1,000+ members, it's hard to keep a secret. In addition, other people started splinter groups of their own, and that got on the Bavarian government's nerves so bad, they made it illegal to form or be a member of ANY type of secret group, and if you were found out they'd execute you (as governments are wont to do). Eventually, Adam Weishaupt died in exhile and the Secret Order of The Illuminati disbanded and was never heard from again THE END.

But! There are other people (mostly not historians) who will tell you that story is A LIE! An Illuminati-planted LIE! These people will tell you Weishaupt was merely a lackey for The (true) Illuminati, which has been around since, like, Homo Sapiens took over. Some of them will also tell you that the origin of people connected to The Illuminati is from an lizard-like alien race coming to Earth to mate with its humans long ago. And that members of The Illuminati (and splinter groups connected to them like the Freemasons) are actually devil worshippers, witches, and wizards--practitioners of Black Magic. (I swear to you: my father NEVER worshipped Beelzebub; just Budweiser.)

They'll tell you The (true) Illuminati, basically, cause chaos and destruction all the time, and it's so they can start a New World Order, in which they will own everything--EVERYTHING: banks, the news media, governments, sports, entertainment, fashion, religion. (This sounds JUST like a battle between Satellite and Landline Internet/Cable/Phone Companies.)

These theorists claim are many groups, people, and other secret societies connected to the New World Order/Illuminati: Ordo Templi Orientis, Illuminati Order, Orden Illuminati, Skull & Bones (George W. Bush is a member) ,the Bilderberger Group, the Rockefellers, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Fabian Society, Booker T. Washington, the Mormons, the Catholics, the DuPonts, the Rothschild Group, the United Nations, the Democrats/Republicans (USA), Labour/UKIP/Conservatives (UK)...probably even the Girl and Boy Scouts, though they haven't gone THAT far (yet).  Theorists claim these groups are all just fronts for The Illuminati, that people who run or founded the groups are/were Illuminati.

In addition, theorists believe there are 13 bloodlines of the Illuminati. If you are descended from any of the following families: the Astors, Kennedys, DuPonts, Collins, Onassis, Reynolds, the Lis, Russells, Rockefellers, Van Duyn, Freeman, Rothschild, or the Bundys? Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents mated with alien lizards and were devil worshippers. Sorry. (And if you AREN'T related to those bloodlines, don't get too confident; there are other family bloodlines that interconnect to the Big Thirteen, the McDonalds, the Krupps, and the Disneys being three examples.) (Happiest Place on Earth? Maybe....or just a front for the New World Order.)

In addition, certain people really believe members of the government are Illuminati-connected. And, if the Freemasons ARE a branch of Illuminati, then I suppose they'd be right. George Washington, Ben Franklin? Freemasons. In fact, almost all of the USA's presidents have been connected to the Masons. And Freemason symbols adorn our US currency, and the dude tapped to design Washington, D.C. was a Freemason, so basically Washington D.C. is one big ol' Freemason symbol. (Which I guess makes America part of the conspiracy to own the world...not like we haven't gotten a good start on it by building a McDonald's and Starbucks in every country. Coca-Cola, too. And of course spreading our devil rock-n-roll music and tasteless obsession with fame and fortune.) (I could go on.)

Other people theorists claim are Illuminati:

All of Hollywood (if you work in Hollywood--did you know? You're Illuminati), John Wayne (?!), Michael Jordan, Al Gore (and thus, the entire Internet I suppose, since he created it), Warren Buffet, George Bushes I & II, Barack Obama (stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Tea Party), The 1% (you know, all the Rich Guys Who Run The World), Hitler. But also: Kanye West & Kim Kardashian, Jay-Z & Beyonce, Lebron James, Rihanna, Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber (it explains SO! MUCH!). I was most saddened to learn Lady Gaga is Illuminati. I mean, I can SEE it. I just...well, she did sing Poker Face, which I bet is about not letting anybody know what your real agenda is. And she wore that meat dress. Yeah, Lady Gaga's totally Order of Moriah. I can see her carving the DIG key symbol onto herself.

The information out there is actually very frightening--there are REAL people who REALLY believe this shit, that this is happening. You guys! There are people who believe King Solomon started it by bringing a hexagram into worship. They believe the founders of the USA were Satanic occultists--Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington (all Freemasons). They believe the world's major religions: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, along with the less populated religions, are all just fronts for Satan. They are very serious about this, and they believe there will be a big huge fight about it one day. Unlike Armageddonists, they think aliens will be involved, but still.

Which is why it's important to the story line in the show DIG. Of course there are top government officials involved--Ambassador Ruth Ridell is probably Illuminati, hell bent on New World Order. Ted Billingham, too. I don't know about Rabbi Lev yet; the Jewish group may just really really really want to build Temple 3 and bring forth the Messiah. (Apparently, there was a Jewish group that tried to get a loan from an Israeli Bank to build Temple 3) (they were turned down).

So. That's about it. How are you doing out there? I had tons more I could've and really wanted to share, but I didn't want to explode anybody's brain. For sure, mine almost did.  (Every time I go on these research scavenger hunts I think: Holy crap, these DIG on USA writers! This must have consumed them! So. Intense. and SO much information!)

And above and beyond all that, for THIS research project? I think the one thing I came away with, particularly in regards to some of the information I located on the Internet about The Illuminati and the Freemasons: Other human beings are so freaking, abso-bloody-fucking-lutely frightening, are they not?

Let's all of us nice, normal people band together and go find a nice, big, comfy cave to live in. (Maybe not beneath the Well of Souls.)

(EDIT UPDATE: Way up in the beginning when I first posted this, I accidentally typed that God told Moses to sacrifice Isaac. Oops, sorry Moses! God actually parted some water for him. And made up a bunch of rules for Moses to give to the Children of Israel. Moses was never, ever asked to sacrifice any kids. Apologies to Moses and God.)

prayers for the dead.

THAT'S a morose, ominous-sounding title for a flippant little blog, isn't it? 

I'm writing about prayers for the dead for a couple of reasons:

1) it was pointed out to me that there is a different common prayer that Jews and Christians share, and it's not really that valley of the shadow of death one.

and

2) I think this may be connected to the show DIG (on USA!), and even though Jason Isaacs expressly told me (and 36,000 others of his followers) NOT to get online and ruin it for themselves, I think Jason Isaacs ought to be aware that I am not like many of his 36,000 other Twitter devotees...for one, as long as no one gets hurt? I think rules are kinda sorta meant to be broken. And so if you're going to make demands like that, just know: you're sticking it into my head to quietly have  a look anyway--because why are you being so sneaky? And what are you trying to hide anyway? What are you so eager for us NOT to find out?

But also, research! And religion, while I pretty much shirk it, does fascinate me--I think it's the spirituality of it; its ritualistic nature (I am HUGE believer in the power of rituals) and ability to provide peace and comfort to those who really need it. (On the flip side: it also makes Protestants and Catholics blow each other up, it creates groups like Al Qaeda, and it makes people do things like blow up abortion clinics and tell AIDS-stricken Africans that God still abhors condom use. And it makes sweet grandmas who wouldn't hurt a fly sit in houses of God on Sunday mornings hating people who don't believe in or pray to Jesus Christ...it's for those reasons I've gotten to the point I just like to cherry pick and choose my own methods of how I devote myself to the Ohm, the All That Is and Ever Was.)

So anyway. Here's some background on prayers for the dead...because I bet (I BET) DIG (on USA.) has something to do with this. And the reason I think that is because, as I was researching prayers for the dead stuff, I kept coming upon a phrase about God protecting (whoever died) under His wings, shielding the dead, protecting them from harm, in the safety of His wings. And that was in the show--Psalm 17:8..."Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings..." which kind of (now that I've researched dead people stuff) sounds like a prayer for the dead. 

Okay. You ready? Here we go--prayers for the dead! (listen to happy music while you read):

In Judaism, there are two common prayers for the dead--the Mourner's Kaddish and the Yizkor. 

Let's talk about the Yikzkor first, because it's important but not in any way like the Kaddish. The Yizkor is a special memorial prayer, recited four times per year. In Hebrew, Yizkor means "remember." The word "remember" is both the first word of the Yizkor prayer but also its overriding theme. It's the prayer that is said to remember departed loved ones, but also to connect the living and the dead, to elevate the departed to Heaven, and to perform good deeds in their honor. The souls of living gain merit by performing private acts of good deeds (mitzvahs) on behalf of the dead, who can no longer do this (for obvious reasons). It's a blessing for both living and dead, as well as a way for the living to implore God not to forget about our dead loved ones, and the Yizkor can be recited for anyone, not just family members. 

You need to know this, because in Judaism, performing quiet mitzvahs, or good deeds or religious commandments, on behalf of those you've loved and lost gets you and your lost loved ones in good with God. It's connected to the Kaddish in that, the Kaddish is all about exalting the name of the Lord. Which is important to do, particularly for your dead ones.

The Mourner's Kaddish has been said on behalf of the dead for centuries and centuries and centuries and centuries; it is the only Aramaic prayer said within a Hebrew service, and one interesting thing about the Kaddish is that it isn't really a prayer TO God--it's a prayer FOR God. And also, it's a prayer for God and for God's people; it's about our human condition, really. It's probably the single most important, emotional, connecting prayer Jews can pray, and it goes like this (this is the English version):

Exalted and hallowed be God's great name

in the world which God created, according to plan.

May God's majesty be revealed in the days of our lifetime

and the life of all Israel -- speedily, imminently, to which we say Amen.

Blessed be God's great name to all eternity.

Blessed, praised, honored, exalted, extolled, glorified, adored, and lauded

be the name of the Holy Blessed One, beyond all earthly words and songs of blessing,

praise, and comfort. To which we say Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and all Israel,

to which we say Amen.

May the One who creates harmony on high, bring peace to us and to all Israel.

To which we say Amen.

(Source: reformjudaism.org)

The Mourner's Kaddish praises God, and expresses a desire to create God's Kingdom on Earth. There's really no mention of death in it, actually. It comes from Ezekial 38:23..."I will magnify Myself, sanctify Myself, and make Myself known in the sight of many nations; and they will know that I am the Lord."

The word "kaddish" means sanctification. Sons are required to say it for 11 months after a parent dies (the Yahrtzeit) and it's customary in Israel for all Jews to say it on the Tenth day of Tevet (Tevet is the 4th month of the year and the 10th month of the Hebrew calendar; it usually happens in December or January [the Gregorian calendar], and the 10th day of Tevet is a fasting observance in Judaism that commemorates the siege of Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar). 

The Kaddish is said in unison, and the thing about the Kaddish is that it doesn't mention death, specifically, but it's become customary to say it for mourners, because it's a way for children to show respect for parents long after they've died...and it's an expression of acceptance for God's judgments, righteousness, and decisions right at a time when (if you're going to get all bitter and angry at God for taking that which you loved most in the world from you) you may be tempted to reject God. It's also a way to sanctify the name of God, by saying it out loud in public, which (of course, like the Yizkor) increasing merit on behalf of dead loved ones. 

The beginning of the Kaddish is the single-most important part of it; it's the heart and soul of the prayer--God's name is being praised (sanctified). What's really fascinating about the Kaddish is its connection to the Holocaust--that's 6,000,000 lost souls we all need to pray for, forever and ever. There's a lot (I mean A LOT) on the internet that connects the Kaddish to the Holocaust, and I simply don't have time to wade through it all. But, in a really pathetic summary of something huge and horrible and important: during the Holocaust, victims KNEW what was coming--they understood their fate--and so they'd often say the Kaddish for themselves, so that instead of getting angry at God for the situation in which they found themselves, they'd say the Kaddish as a way to accept God's will and greatness; their souls were already with God. It's really too much to go into here beyond that (and also Elie Wiesel and Anne Frank are involved, so that would take us completely off track), but just know: this colored my prayer for the dead research into some very somber colors. (Please don't ever ever do something like this again, Humanity, please please do not.) (And also: I'd really really REALLY like to offer a politically-charged commentary here about the horrific inappropriateness of ANYONE today even attempting to use the Holocaust as a means in which to justify their current political views or disagreements with whichever state or government they are in opposition to--but it would get me totally off track and mess up what I'm trying to do here. Just know: if you do that? That's fucked up, and STOP IT.)

In addition, if you're very very interested to learn more about this, I got a lot of my information from various different Internet websites (including trusty old Wikipedia), but this published paper on the Mourner's Kaddish by some very scholarly smart person named Jennifer Schwartzberg:  GO HERE if you're interested in more.

One other prayer that is even more important than the Kaddish is the Schma, or Shema Yisrael. Shema means, literally "to hear, to listen" also "to do." Shema is also Aramaic for "the Divine Name," and is the Hebrew equivalent of "ha-Shem," which is sometimes used as a substitute for "Adonai," which is Hebrew for "God." 

The Shema isn't a prayer for the dead, but it is the single most important prayer (well, actually a confession, or a sort of declaration) in all of Judaism. It's said twice per day, as part of a mitzvah (good deed, or in this case a commandment). It goes: Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Ehad which means: "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is ONE." 

And there's a second line that goes: Baruch shem k'vodo l'olam which means: "Blessed be the name of the glory of His Kingdom forever and ever." It is said every single day, 7 days a week. The first line is the MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT JUDAISM. (In all of Christianity, the most important line is John 3:16--"For God so loved the world, He gave His only son..." But also in Christianity, we do say the Shema to a certain extent, mostly by reading it sometimes as Scripture from the Book of Deuteronomy, specifically Chapter 6, verse 4.) 

The second line is usually said quietly or silently inside your head. On Yom Kippur, however, it's said out loud, 3 times, because you want to exalt the name of God, and be as loud as all the angels. And then the Shofar is blown to announce: eatin' time! (it ends the fast.)

(By the way: Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement, is THE most important holiday in all of Judaism--even Jews who observe or practice no other Jewish customs will often take off a day of work, fast, and/or attend synagogue. It's the day Jews atone for all their sins and trespasses against others in the last year.)

(there's a reason I'm telling you about the Shema--I'll get to it in a second). 

So prayers for the dead figure big into Jewish services. In Christianity (and I'll just speak for the Presbyterians and Methodists, both Calvinistic branches that are closely related and I know a lot about because that's who I'm descended from--except, as Tom Skerrit's Presbyterian preacher dad pointed out in one of my favorite movies A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT: Methodists are Baptists who can read), we don't really say prayers for the dead. 

Actually, some Christian branches still do--it was a common practice in early Christianity, and I think the Catholics still practice it to some extent to get their lost loved ones out of purgatory. Eastern Orthodox Christians still pray on behalf of their dead, but not necessarily to sanctify God's name or elevate their lost loved ones to higher celestial, supernatural states of being--they do it because it's the right thing to do.

However! (I'm getting to my point) you know what prayer Christians all over pray, no matter their branch? The Lord's Prayer:

Our Father, which art in Heaven,

Hallowed be Thy name.

Thy will be done, 

On Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us  our trespasses,

As we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from Evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom,

The Power, and the Glory forever.

Amen.

Dear Mom, I recited that from memory--you'll be so proud. (And I also still remember, by heart, the Doxology: Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost...as it was in the Beginning, is now and ever shall be...praise He all men, Amen...Amen.) (AND I remember the tune.) (The things we drill into our kids' brains on behalf of the Spirit World.)

Go back and read the Mourner's Kaddish, then go back and read The Lord's Prayer. And pay attention to the last line of the Shema. Pretty close, I think. That Jesus of Nazareth! He certainly knew what he was doing, connecting two major world religions before one of them he wasn't even a member of hadn't even been created yet. Bet he did that on purpose--or SOMEBODY DID. (If only he or they had known what one of the religions was going to do to the other one thousands of years later.)

Seriously--there are scholars out there who believe Jesus was familiar with the Kaddish; he'd certainly have been familiar with the Shema...the Shema is an ancient, ancient thing to say--it was first said on Abraham's death bed, when his sons stood before him and promised him they'd only ever worship the one and only God. 

And if you translate the first half of Jesus' The Lord's Prayer (which was in Aramaic, since that's the language that Jesus spoke...and the Kaddish itself is in Aramaic, and the only non-Hebrew prayer chanted in Jewish services), it's nearly identical to the Kaddish. In addition to that, there's something called the Mishnah, which is basically the written down version of the oral Torah and the first major work of Rabbinical literature--it is older than old, in other words. In the Mishnah, God is sometimes referred to as "Our Father in Heaven," and this reference to God our Father...our Father who art in Heaven, etc, can also be found in some texts that pre-date the Mishnah (according to some scholars). In addition to that, you can find the essence of all Judaism in the Mishnah, and in 3 different areas of the Old Testament (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21, and Numbers 15:37-41). Basically, they say: you will accept the Kingdom of Heaven, God's rule, and You. Will. LIKE. It. In addition to all of THAT, there are subtle references to God's Ten Commandments in those sections of the Old Testament and the Mishnah, and so the Shema is also an opportunity to let God know: We're still obeying your rules, Lord.

It's really hard to prove all those connections, but I think they're there.

In Presbyterian services, we say The Lord's Prayer every time. It's also said during our funerals--I think they said it at my dad's (although I was in such grief and shock still, maybe we didn't...but I seem to remember saying it). There's also no real mention of death, but it exalts the name of God out loud, and it's all about how great and powerful and magnificent God is...a comfort to those who are mourning. It is said in unison, at ALL our services as well as special services (like funerals and Easter services and Christmas services etc and so forth), and it's really just a way for Christians to brag about how freaking awesome God truly is. Which I suspect is a huuuuge ego boost for the LORD.

The reason I think this is all connected to DIG (on USA) is because Peter is in mourning. I still can't connect ALL the pieces, and also I think there are several more that need to be connected to solve the mystery behind DIG. But I will tell you that the earliest version of the Kaddish dates back to the time of the Second Temple; there's a conspiracy between a Jewish faction and a Christian faction to bring about one ancient scary ass prophecy in the show DIG (and off of the show DIG, too), and also there's an FBI man in DIG'S Israel who's in mourning like nooobody's business running around trying to stop it all, trying to save us so he can save himself (maybe?). 

Essentially, this show is about crazies trying to eff the world up, but it's also about one human being who is struggling through the Darkness of the valley of the shadow of Death. It's about someone who's looking for respite; who needs some shelter under God's wings. And people in the show get killed off a lot. Let's all say The Mourner's Kaddish and The Lord's Prayer, together.

At least, that's what I think. But then, I'm a chick. We do like to read a lot into things. And we don't follow directions by famous actors who've got roles as wizards on their CVs. Ever.

family travel things.

So I've been researching the Illuminati (and also the Freemasons, in connection to the Illuminati, just because my grandfather and dad were Freemasons and have shrouded secrets around them, and I really love a good, shrouded secret). But then! Jason Isaacs got on Twitter and basically said: You guys! Dooooon't ruin episode #6 with your online research stuff! And so fine, dagnabit. FINE, JASON ISAACS. I will heed your advice and not ruin it and so I've stopped researching (but I MUST tell you, just in case: there are people out there who really believe members of the Illuminati are descended from humans mating with alien lizards...I suspect these people also subscribe to the Zombie Apocalypse Prophecy and write crazy, unfocused blog entries that never ever stay on topic) (that last descriptor was me--I'm sad I even have to point that out to you). 

At any rate, Jason isn't going to live tweet/walk us through this one. Again. (Because Jason is in Sri Lanka with his family, and I'm so so happy for him and for them that they are there--because it appears, to me, he's been nothing but a workaholic and away from precious pieces of his heart for the last several months. And I know all about long work hours and being away from family where you're needed most...I personally would have gone to Bali or Fiji with Miss M, but who cares what I think. Sri Lanka's cool, too.)

Anyway. You'll have to wait for your Illuminati/Freemasons educational blog entry to go along with DIG (on USA!) episode #6. Because it's Jason Isaacs' fault.

Instead, today, you'll be getting a blog entry on Family. And travel. And maybe also the TSA.

So I just got back from a trip to see my husband's sweet family in Indiana. We took M because her grandpa is getting up there in age, and well...you never know. Time is precious. Family is precious. If your family is very very dysfunctional, maybe they are not precious to you. So then maybe you have some really close friends who are...there you go: THERE'S your family. Biology does not alone make a family. (For example, I have adopted a Jewish "mom." She's very much like my Presbyterian real mom, because they both hate Obama and they both like to give me their opinions about him in a really loud way by sending me links to articles that I always have to fact check at snopes.com...and when I'm sick they have all kinds of remedies for me. Except my Presbyterian real mom wants me to buy Mucinex DM and suck on Cold-Eeze lozenges, and my Jewish "mom" wants me to stick my head over steaming water and eat chicken soup. Presbyterian and Jewish moms--both indispensable, just in different ways.) (Oh, and one of my moms doesn't pray to Jesus and the other mom is sad because I'm a lapsed Christian.) (But did you know that Christians and Jews BOTH share the prayer from Psalm 23:4, the "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." prayer? Connections!) 

What I most loved about hanging out with Grandpa R., was watching the interaction he, at 85 or so, has with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I cannot tell you how much my heart wanted to burst with sweet happiness at watching tiny little 2 year old great-granddaughter K put her little hat on Grandpa's head and say, "Dere YOUR hat." and then put Grandpa's hat on her head and say, "Dis MY hat." over and over again. O.M.G.! Internet! Heart. Melted.

Because clearly this is a regular game for them.

Miss M was in heaven, playing with her cousins--children she is not that familiar with, who she rarely sees, but by the end of our visit was in tears about leaving behind. Her Aunt S. loves her deeply, her cousin J teases her like a little sister, her Uncle W jokes with her gently. She played outside until her sandals-clad feet were absolutely filthy, and she ate way too much pie every night. THIS is family. 

...Oh, Internet! If you have aging parent(s) left in this world, please please PLEASE promise me you'll spend as much time as you possibly can with them. They need to feel surrounded by love; I could see this with my father-in-law, and I could see the effects the love had on him. 

Also: when your mom and dad are gone, they are gone. And it doesn't matter how old you are, how old they were, or the circumstances--they are your history and your memories and your foundations and--good or bad--you are YOU because they were they. In quiet moments when you can no longer just pick up the phone and call them, you will wonder: what if I had just...? or what if we had just...? I know this, because this is exactly what I do about my dad. THIS MATTERS.***(please see note at the end)*** There are no do-overs, and I will confess: I really wanted to go/do something else for Spring Break, but watching M and other grandchildren interact with their grandpa was so lovely, it made it all okay. 

And I wish I wasn't worried about privacy and safety so I could put some videos and pictures up of how happy and sweet it is to watch the very old and the very young interact. Simply, I think it's one of Life's bestest, nicest things, and I will treasure those moments in my heart forever and ever, no matter what else happens from here to the end.

(My other favorite memory: M observing that her grandpa doesn't move around as fast any more or get out as much; basically observing in her very 6 year old way that he's aged a lot. And that this is because he just likes to sit and watch TV all day and so he's just, I quote, "an Inside Man." I plan to be an "Outside Woman" as long as possible, but when I hit 90, I think I'll be okay being an "Inside Woman.")

If that wasn't enough, Midwesterners are just all around freaking NICE. Every time I go to the Midwest, I am struck by how friendly and open they are. You'd think, down here in the South, we are all about manners and gentility and politeness so we'd have the corner market on this. But Midwesterners are kind and thoughtful and just not afraid to make you their new best friend they are THAT open. Nice, nice people you have there, Midwestern America.

Here's an example:

So going TO Indiana, we went through security at Hartsfield-Jackson. It's been awhile since I've flown, so man. This was an experience. M and I qualified for pre-checkin, meaning: we did not have to take our shoes off or go through that x-ray thing that sees you naked. But they were aaaalll business, those ATL TSA guys. When we went through, the serious and very "don't give me no SHIT" lady asked M all kinds of questions: her name, how old, who her parents were, why she was flying...now, what if I'd been raising sort of a smart alecky kid? Huh, TSA? Bet we'd have been sniffed by the bomb dogs. (Which would have traumatized my child, who is terrified of all dogs, even tiny ones on leashes.)

Also, I set the alarms off and had to have my hands wiped with a mysterious wet napkin. Later, I found out they were looking for explosive powder residue. (Damn it, Maybelline!)

But coming home FROM Indiana, even though we did not go through pre-checkin and had to take our shoes off and take electronics out and etc and so forth, nobody asked any questions, and I went through the metal detector with NO problems. Even though I'd used the exact same Maybelline powder as on Saturday morning when we'd left for Hartsfield-Jackson. And everybody was business, BUT FRIENDLY BUSINESS. It was like eating at an Army prisoner-of-war mess hall one day and then eating at the finest Italian restaurant in town then next. 

My guess is that Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson just has a bunch of asswipe fliers that go through TSA all the time; Indiana has maybe 75% less than that. 

Anyway, note for you if/when traveling throught Atlanta, GA: Atlanta don't play. Leave your travel explosives at HOME.

Other things I'd like to note about the experience of air travel:

*Airport humans. Studies in character. Seriously, I mean it. They are RIVETING to me. I wonder: why are you so mad-looking? or: are you a celebrity?! you look like a celebrity!! or: when was the last time you had a bath?! or: seriously?! Scotch on the rocks?? AT 9 AM?!

*I'm not judging the Scotch on the rocks at 9 AM person...I'm a nervous flier, and so it did cross my mind to have a few beers before boarding. Then, during the sort of turbulent flight home, I really regretted not ponying up to the bar and having a rum+coke with the Scotch on the rocks guy. Or at least several beers with the morosely quiet Mafia-looking couple.

*Two men in front of me drank Sky Vodka for the entire 1.5 hour flight back to Atlanta. The flight attendants had to stop serving snacks right after they waited on those guys because of air turbulence; didn't matter--those guys had already bought plenty of little vodka bottles to keep them stocked up the whole flight. I, however, had to wait 30 minutes to get a Diet Coke because those two insisted on being airplane barflies.

Yet nobody drank going to the Midwest from Atlanta. My suspicion: Atlanta's CIA/TSA has something to do with it. I'm sure the vodka guys were TSA plants.

*Don't eff with a flight attendant. I'm not kidding. Don't. Do. It. If a flight attendant says: "We need you to change seats, sir," then you get your pretentious butt up out of that seat and MOVE IT. (Although the girl in row 18 will be sitting in delight, jotting down character notes about you for a future story or three.)

*MARTA. It's really the best part of traveling through Atlanta. Another great source for studies in character. I wondered: when did your boobs GET like that?! does it bother you?? and: do you keep bothering those people across from you with corny jokes because you're just trying to make new friends...or you're hoping they'll give you some money so you'll shut up and go away? and: when was the last time you had a bath?! and: Seriously?! A tomato JUST dropped out of your Burger King sandwich...and YOU'RE NOT PICKING IT UP. Where you raised by wolves?? and: you are really getting into that music in your ears--you are practically dancing to it, like no one is watching. How'd you get so carefree and wise??

In Indiana, I worked out, religiously, at the hotel's fitness center every morning. Then, I'd sit in the lobby with a hard-boiled egg and coffee, in silence--peaceful, blessed silence--and read the Internet or a newspaper or a book. It was Heaven. HEAVEN. 

But mostly, I loved watching my father-in-law's face shine with joy when he was surrounded by his little ones. And TSA ain't got nothing on THAT.

***If your  mom or dad is abusive, then obviously this is null and void. Please stay away from very abusive people who hurt you in childhood and you struggle with it to this day. I am writing to people whose moms/dads aren't perfect and maybe drive them nuts every time they're in their presence, but they've done their best and there is genuine love there. 

It is true, there are some humans who should not be allowed within 3 feet of a child, yet these humans bear children anyway and haphazardly and horrendously raise them to adulthood, creating people who either spend their whole lives repairing the damage or end up in gangs and/or ISIS. I am not talking to you if you got one of those moms or dads, and I hope (a) you're in intensive therapy for it and (b) you have a surrogate Jewish mom or dad who's making you matzo ball soup as you read this. Or it doesn't have to be a Jewish surrogate--I hear the B'hai Faith has some awesome moms/dads you can adopt too. And an atheist surrogate parent will be hedonist with you and there will be NO consequences or guilt trips about when was the last time you were in a house of God, etc.